[Applause]
hey there's something that I can mean to
tell you all I wanted to tell you for a
while but I just wasn't sure how you're
going to react I just hope this doesn't
change things between us but I just
think it's important that you know so
here it goes
yes really no it's not just the fees
it's just one part of who I am and it
doesn't define my identity I bet a lot
of you probably thought that was going
in a different direction maybe you
thought I was going to tell you that I'm
gay well yeah that's true too but not to
go I would never believe that it was
possible to be both of those things and
Here I am declare that I vote those
things to you right now growing up I
heard stories that associated Greek life
with things like rape culture hazing
sexual assault not to mention that the
stories of gay people being bullied
harassed or driven to suicide
I had these same expectations for
Hopkins to be bloody so I planned on
saying as far away as possible after all
why would I want to go in a community
where I have to pretend to be straight
just to fit in and what would I gain
from it
the friendship of people who are
intolerant of my identity it didn't even
worth getting a chance but as I went
through my first semester I met some
people that made me really questioning
some
I made about life what I was expecting
was a bunch of stereotypical arrogant
hyper-masculine rabbis but in reality I
bet a bunch of fantastic guys whether
this was spending time eating disgusting
amounts of chicken nuggets together or
wasting hours watching trains go into
the mounds on YouTube are you things
like staying up late and talking about
our dreams and our passions I realize
the similarities we share defined our
relationships so much more than one
hidden difference
I saw an Felton Brotherhood that was
between these guys and I wasn't that
something that I wanted and so we
learned this semester when I was walking
to an event that one of the paternity is
hosting the guy that I was walking with
asked me if I was planning on rushing
when when spring came around and I
remember saying I don't really want to
pay dues and I don't think my parents
are going to let now don't get me wrong
those were all really valid excuses and
concerns that a lot of people had
including myself but for me it wasn't as
simple as I was letting on because I
didn't know that much about many of
these organizations so I didn't know if
they were accepting of gate will be this
more challenging is that I didn't know
many brothers or sisters in any
organization and I had witnessed a lot
of problematic behavior throughout my
first semester it was really common to
hear people say things like oh that's so
gay or call each other gay to make fun
of each other and I heard two words for
that gave a lot and I remember what time
I was talking with some guys were
planning on rushing and what I said I
would never want to give you to my
pledge class
you couldn't connect and I just sat
there speechless because no one opposed
it and when I hear stuff like this I
don't instantly think that the person
that said it's homophobic but just
hearing it over and over
maybe you realize that a lot of people
just aren't aware and they don't
understand why you shouldn't say this
kind of language it's because this here
is so much mean tolerance and hatred and
I'm happy that most people don't have to
feel that but I have I personally felt
the impact it has and I can tell you
that that language has no place on our
campus or in our culture and it's time
to this one when I asked myself it was
really worth the struggle in joining I
remember asking is this really a
community that I want to join but I was
so angry at the intolerance around me I
had no problem connecting there getting
to know these guys the entire first
semester and I was gay the whole time
they just didn't know you and this made
me realize that it might have been more
of a problem adherence and maybe the
only make about that was through
exposure so I had a point of proof and I
was determined to let no one stand in my
way because I refused to reinforce the
idea that you can't begin a fracture
game so rush came and when they keep
some unexpected challenges I really
liked getting to know the guys and the
different organizations but it was
unexpectedly hard because every
interaction I made was under the
assumption that I was straight so I had
to maneuver my way through the process
kind of like another members body I was
like foreign soil in an unknown culture
I'm sure who would seek to trusted in
concept here at my company
questions like which girls I found
attractive or who I was interested in
and I would just make something up and
hope I play the part well
other times I didn't know what to answer
so I would just fit in hope I covered it
up because what was I supposed to answer
when someone asked me what my type was
it wasn't about to say dude this may be
realized that it was directly homophobia
that was the problem here rather it was
for gay people and we have to work to
open our culture and create and
cultivate a welcoming environment
because by nature were closed exclusive
community and that's not okay so rush
came and went and ultimately I decided
that being a part of the fraternity was
something that I really wanted to do so
I accepted my bid to be and I loved
getting to know my pledge fest and I
really looked forward to calling with my
brothers I had only known them for a
couple of weeks but it's becoming
increasingly clear that I just wasn't
going to be able to get really close to
them if I was continuously putting up a
wall and I realized that I was going to
stop hiding and soon I was gonna have to
declare and own my identity and that
terrifies me and then when we came one
night late in February I remembered the
dimly lit basement I remember the smell
the smell the basements
sitting around they were engaged in open
and honest conversation but I just sat
quietly focusing on ignoring the
thoughts of fear and panic running
through my mind but that it was my
friend talk and the room and I would my
mouth to speak I paused because I felt
the weight of those words in my mouth
and I knew that once I said them there
was absolutely no going back but I hated
that barrier that stood between me and
my pledge class I hated having to live
all the time the people that I wanted to
call brother and I hated that I was
consciously feeling guilty about all of
this I asked myself how could I call my
brothers if I can't just come out with
them because weren't worthy why would I
want to call my brothers if they weren't
okay with who I was sitting on the quiet
that woman I had realized that I had
enough so I broke the silence with words
I thought about thousands of times words
that was terrifying then as they already
cowering now guys yeah and once I
started talking I couldn't stop I told
my flesh pots about my previous
struggles accepted myself because of my
sexuality and the current everyday
frustrations of having to fit in with a
sea of straight people to my fears for
the future because I mean that after
that night there was no going back at my
life was about to completely change and
when I was done talking and my words
just hang in the air I was met with love
and support and my flesh thought said
things to be like we still love you or
this doesn't change anything dude or
even my best friend's game you're
interested
this showed me that I be open and
vulnerable entire relationships I could
only get closer to the people that care
about everything changed for me that
night but the brothers I had me showed
me how constant they were in my life I
saw the bisexuality didn't change things
with the people that really care about
me and I gave me the strength not to
care about what others thought for the
first time I was free to be myself I
didn't have to hide anymore and for the
first time I was happy to learn my
identity to the world and finally I did
something that I had wanted to do for a
long time coming out to my parents was
the hardest thing I have ever done but I
pledged fast in my fraternity he gave me
the courage to finally do so well I'm
eternally grateful for everything 3-play
that has done for me I can't help
acknowledge that this just unfortunately
is the situation for everyone and that's
something none of us should be over here
with because the sense stuff happens
every day and sometimes it feels like no
one cares or even notices and I go back
to feeling invisible but when I see
things like words written on people's
clothing after social events saying
things like find me on Grindr or other
things that are too obscene to say up
here or frankly anywhere I feel like my
identity is being used to know each
other's and I can't help but feel
targeted and singled out especially
because no one speaks up
but I had to fight to be a part of this
community and it's really hard having
the burden put on me all the time to
constantly speak out for the rights of
gay people and sometimes it feels like
I'm shouting into the wind because I
have to fight for my voice every day and
so many in the gay community are too
still powerless or silenced and then
those who are privileged enough to have
a voice just do nothing but I've seen
the great things that could happen when
we open our community up joining a
fraternity changed my life because it
taught me how to accept myself and
showed me that I can celebrate my
differences instead of hiding them but I
cannot but wonder if the Alpha would
have been the same if I was out during
her before much and that uncertainty
really scares me because it was hard to
get into this community I had to fight
for it but it doesn't have to be like
that I'm trying to change that every day
whether that's by being up here or by
leaving Johns Hopkins AZ replay JHU
people because I want to spread the
message that you can be in it reflected
you can't get a paternity if you're gay
because I think that's something that as
a freshman I would have really benefited
from hearing I'm doing my part but this
only works if we all work together for
people of all identities in all settings
even when we do everything we can to
remove the homophobic language action
from our behavior we have to do more to
fight the heteronormative 'ti but if
this is in regards to planning events
for meteor cruise or treating you
members for anything else because I
don't want anyone else to ever feel like
they have to hide their identity or be
something they're not just to fit in but
the current hold your support center
because the system is designed against
me
people and all minorities so we can
either sit still and do nothing and
support the system or we can actively
choose to fight it but there's no room
for complacency here so hold yourselves
and hold others accountable just being
not homophobic is not enough as
individuals and as a community we have
to be anti homophobic we have to create
spaces that welcome those of different
backgrounds and differences because it's
it's not more than that we have to do
work as a culture we have to open we
have to open pre-play up I've seen the
great things that we happen when we
apply these lessons of diversity and
inclusion into our real lives but it's
about more than Greek life it's about
more than just being gay it's really
easy to look at these things and say of
the system is flawed or it's bigger than
us but I promise you it is not bigger
than us it is us so make the change
today within the Greek community within
your own communities but most
importantly change
[Applause]