- Hi I'm Stephanie.
- Hi my name is Essence.
- Hi my name is Julie.
- And I'm single.
- And I am single.
- And I'm single.
- AF.
(soft music)
Oh I definitely can feel lonely.
But I don't know necessarily if that's because I'm single.
- I do feel lonely sometimes.
- I don't feel any lonelier than I think
any human would feel
whether they're in a relationship or not.
- Societally, there is a lot of pressure sometimes
to be either dating or in a relationship
or like having a bunch of hook up buddies.
- But I feel like sometimes not having a partner
doesn't mean that you're lonely.
It just means that you're on your own, you're independent.
- I definitely don't think being single is like
this lonely, dreadful experience.
- I'm a stand up and I'm an actor,
and I feel like a lot of my days are just spent
on my own independently.
Yeah, I think it depends on the day.
- Working, hobbies are the I guess obvious answers.
But to me, I think it's more being really kind of like
secure within yourself.
- I think it's possible to feel really like lonely when
you are in a relationship if you're in a relationship
with the wrong person.
- Having a lot of friends around me,
making sure that I have activities
that I'm passionate about.
And not really worrying too much about finding the one,
being in a relationship.
- I genuinely enjoy being by myself,
dating when I want to date like casually.
- So I think I'm
very optimistic about my life in general
and I feel like I'm very driven.
I feel like I have a lot of trust
in this last year that like my career will go
where it needs to go and that my relationships
will unfold kind of how they are supposed to.
(soft music)
- Being single for me is definitely better
at this stage in my life because I'm not really ready
to settle down.
- I spent a lot of my time
kind of focusing on my career,
and focusing on being independent,
and I kind of thought that wanting a relationship
meant that I was weak.
And I've realized recently that it's not a bad thing
to want a relationship.
It's not, it doesn't make you any less of a woman and
it doesn't make you this kind
of damsel in distress stereotype.
- It's funny, I think in the last year it was very important
that I was single.
It was really important for me to be independent
in this last year and find my own voice
and really just establish a routine for myself.
- I'm just not ready for that
because there comes like a lot of structure with that,
there comes a lot of like compromise and sacrifice,
and I'm just at a point in my life where I'm not
really ready for that.
- It's definitely a struggle to find someone compatible
and to find someone who can really be there for you.
- I actually feel like I'm transitioning now
into a place where everything is a little more stable,
a little more figured out,
and I actually feel like now is the time
that someone could fit in, so, I'm hopeful.
(soft music)
I think we're actually in a kind of amazing time right now
where people are a lot more vocal about like,
having a relationship status be
the only thing your aiming for in your life.
For me it's been really helpful on social media
to see kind of more positive, more open-minded outlooks.
- Social media is terrible for me
when it comes to loneliness.
It's really difficult to try and
not focus on what other people's perfect moments are
because they're not putting all their bad moments
on social media.
- I don't necessarily know that it's affected
how I feel about singleness, positively or negatively.
I think I just kind of look at those things
as just entertainment.
- Growing up on like Disney movies and rom-com
and all those things make you think that like,
that is the be all end all to your life.
- And just in terms of like connecting on a human level,
social media kind of makes it hard
because you're at a distance from everything
and interacting with someone one-on-one is
so much different from interacting online.
- I work in media, so I also know that like,
I don't wanna say very few things are real,
but things are like, there's a story being told.
So they're very contrived.
On TV you often only see the highlights,
and I know that relationships take a lot of work.
So I think I look at them only for entertainment.
- I think we're kind of in a new
era when it comes to that kind of thing.
Which I'm all about.
It's more portrayed in the media, like women,
like the female driven anxiety that is being single.
I feel like men probably are concerned about it,
it's just not really portrayed.
- I think that women are very conditioned,
like even very young, to think that they have to be
with someone, that they have to get married,
especially by a certain age.
That they're not complete and they're not whole,
and I definitely think it plays a part
into how they start to interpret their own lives
and how they interpret being single.
- 'Cause we're expected to find someone young and
make sure that we're kind of hitting all these milestones
even though that's not necessarily
what we need to do to feel fulfilled.
- And I think for a lot of women,
it can definitely impact them negatively
because they start to feel like incomplete,
or like they haven't achieved a certain thing
if they're not in a relationship by a certain age.
(upbeat music)
- Being single can be rough AF at times,
like let's be honest.
- Find other ways to be fulfilled,
don't always focus on a partner.
'Cause you don't need anyone.
- Another person doesn't make you not lonely.
It's just like a bandaid.
- I don't ever wanna feel like I need a man
to feel secure or to feel worthy.
Trusting that like it will work out when it's supposed to.
- Someone should complement you but not complete you.
Work on that, and then maybe explore relationships.
- You have people that love you, you have friends,
you have family, make sure that you're surrounding yourself
with positivity.
- Introspection and like self care moments are important.
- Single life is lit so go out there, date casually,
get you some drinks and some dinners and live it up.
- Having a partner doesn't mean that you're not lonely
and being lonely doesn't mean that you need a partner.
So just focus on yourself and be who you are.
- We got this!
(upbeat music)