howdy let's revisit a simpler time back
in the years 1999 to 2004 where we had
seasons
one to three of spongebob when spongebob
was just starting out as a fry cook and
things were
well just simpler in spongy's world and
ours
looking back when i was 11 years old and
first saw these episodes airing they
often left me feeling
uncomfortable or even upset but at the
time i couldn't exactly put into words
why they might have had forgettable
plots or character derailment
or just some serious missteps for the
soon-to-be famous sponge
so let's check out what i consider the
six worst classic spongebob episodes
and i think it's important to mention my
deepest respects go to steven hillberg
and the rest of the crew behind the show
nowadays too even if we have
subpar episodes i love spongebob and the
crew behind it
and this is all meant in good fun anyway
on to the countdown
and starting out at number six
dumped shapeless we're off to a lousy
start
even the opening music is a downer this
time on twitter this was definitely one
of the most requested episodes
with a lot of people finding it just
anger inducing or hurtful to watch
gary no no no no don't do it gary
gary but even without the nasty stuff
honestly there just aren't that many
real jokes in this one
the first half is almost entirely just
watching spongy and patrick run around
playing and laughing
with almost no intelligible dialogue to
speak of
which i guess would have been okay for
younger viewers but it wouldn't be
making the parents glance over much
but the main issue many people have with
this episode is we're just watching
spongy's slow sad belief that gary no
longer cares about him as he suddenly
won't leave patrick alone and completely
ignores spongebob
no jokes or clever dialogue or anything
in between to even slightly lighten the
mood
just this continual rejection of
spongebob what's wrong with me
do i offend and it's hard not to feel
bad for him
as much as spongy tries though he just
can't win gary back
as patrick begins to realize this he
basically becomes a condescending
jerk he then takes full custody of gary
well
well well jeez patrick what a turd
you've become
he even goes as far as to exploit
spongebob while he's in a state of
misery near the end
thankfully he does get his comeuppance
when the two discover that gary was
only following patrick for the cookie in
his pocket and yes
gary does get the cookie in the end and
spongy's companion returns
let's go for a walk pal
number five it's too late
grandma's
[Music]
oh kisses i remember watching this
episode 19 years ago now and it was a
horrendous way to cap off season two
spongebob has this way of walking a very
fine tightrope throughout the seasons
trying to find that careful balance of
being friendly and entertaining but also
having enough adult humor and character
relatability to be at least
interesting to adults unfortunately
grandma's kisses misses this line by a
wide mile and feels childish silly
kind of cruel and just awkward half the
time for some reason
half the town seems to have absolutely
nothing to do with their lives
and hound spongebob for being at peace
with his inner child
what do they mock him endlessly for
receiving a kiss from his grandma oh
come on
really guys if anything i'd miss my
grandma on seeing that
why would full-grown adults make fun of
a guy for having a healthy connection to
his family
seriously what is wrong with this town
why are they doing this
well i guess because it suits the plot
for everyone to act like
seven-year-old school bullies with
massive insecurities about their
masculinity
even the girls for some reason shouldn't
they think that's cute
i don't know spongebob eventually gives
in to the harassment and starts acting
mature kisses are for babies which i am
no longer
i have grown up why does spongy become
an office worker though
some of the office workers i know tend
to be very immature and very gossipy
unfortunately while spongy's trying his
best to be mature
we have to watch some very cringy scenes
with patrick
but the worst part of this episode the
part i just
can't seem to fully exercise from my
mind watching adult
spongebob throw a childish tantrum in
front of his grandma
it's just come on spongy you can do
better than this
spongebob already shows he's mature
enough daily he can act young at heart
and embrace his childishness with a free
spirit that takes a lot of maturity
way more than people insecure about
their masculinity trying to act mature
the message just feels muddled like at
the end granny just states what
spongebob already knew
you could kiss your grandma and still be
an adult
yet at the end everyone is still making
fun of him
seriously these random citizens just
need to grow up
more than ever before we just don't know
how many more days we'll get with our
loved ones
particularly our older family so i say
give your older family a big bear hug
whenever you see them
party pooper pants while it's pretty
clear that spongebob is a serious
perfectionist
this episode just did not feel true to
his character i remember first seeing
this episode and even then
i just wanted spongy to quit wrecking
everyone's fun he comes off as
really cringe-worthy and a major control
freak and i ended up just feeling bad
for both spongebob and his guests
it feels bad because his party is going
so well
yet he keeps trying to actively sabotage
it what's going on here
the laughter isn't scheduled until 903.
you want to throw a party do it at your
house patrick
sure spongebob can be a perfectionist
but in any normal episode
he's far more concerned with his friends
just having a good time than doing
everything
by the book and the whole episode
consists of the same
painful drawn out joke
[Music]
spongebob is obsessively controlling
about his party and doesn't get the
message for 20 minutes straight that it
just doesn't matter as long as people
are enjoying themselves who cares how it
happens
as a kind of monk-like introvert myself
even i know a good party can be
really hard to create thankfully
spongebob gets locked out while the
actual party begins
so the poor guy has a meltdown oh no
the party's falling into chaos without
my hosting talents to guide it the
patchy segments are interspersed in
between and they're
okay i guess but nothing to write home
about i do like the creative costumes
but
it's mostly just patchy trying to
sabotage his own party like spongy was
though i do really like the joke with
spongy receiving patchy's invitation
whoever sent this obviously has no idea
about the physical limitations of life
underwater
well might as well throw these in the
fire
and this is downright good party advice
right here a short guest list consisting
of only your closest acquaintances will
set an intimate tone for the evening and
provide soiree
success well you heard the man gary only
our closest friends
plus the underwater sun song is pretty
catchy at the end
[Music]
[Applause]
crabby land this one mainly shows mr
crabbit is cheapest and
arguably most amoral i don't care about
the children
i just care about their parents money
like to the point where it's not even
that funny anymore he builds a dangerous
playground out of rubbish for kids
trying to get them to sign wavers if
they get hurt charming and for the rest
of the episode we're just watching him
not care as spongebob is tortured and
put through continual agony to entertain
kids
there are just very few funny moments
here and spongebob continually hurting
himself just
didn't make me laugh and mostly made me
cringe
[Music]
it's not that i don't like some
slapstick i love looney tunes
duck season fire
but most of these just feel more painful
than cartoony i mean who really wants to
see spongebob burn his eyes
or rip his eyes out
[Music]
ew or run over his tongue
like that scream really sounds like it
hurts almost grotesque of all
having him force-fed lime the beans
and crabs is completely uncaring as
spongebob continues to be ripped and cut
to pieces over and over
mr krabs i can't take much more of this
stall and stuff
always thinking about yourself but hey
at least mr krabs loses his cash at the
end of the episode and then
he too has to feel spongebob's greatest
agony of all
eating lime beans seriously give me
broccoli over those any day
[Music]
and
[Music]
this episode's notorious for spongebob
going completely out of character and
mistreating his friend gary whom in
previous episodes said he'd do
anything for i'm a wreck without
you what do you think gary want to be
fun gary i mean
i'm all for encouraging exercise and
training hard over the years there have
been many
times i've pushed myself to my limits in
marathon training you can't really
see just how high this is
but i wanted to and gary doesn't seem at
all to want to train
and he definitely demonstrates lesson in
over overtraining too
quickly spongebob basically forces him
into training for 24 hours straight
everyone he's clearly at his absolute
limits and spongy's doing all of this
just to prove to squidward that gary is
better than his purebred snail and it's
pretty out of character for spongy to be
so
antagonized or goaded by squidward at
all normally he just turns the other
cheek and laughs
that's part of what i like about him
most of the jokes are pretty lousy too
particularly by the halfway point since
it's a snail race most of the jokes are
well related to snails being slow which
sadly also means that
the story moves at a snail's pace the
whole episode they're just beating the
same
dead horse gary's not ready he's
exhausted he's suffering
and he didn't even want to race in the
first place but spongebob just keeps
pushing him anyway
that's not even slightly funny or
interesting to see get the anchors out
of your pants right now
exhausted to the point of collapsing
gary's
eyes explode he loses control and
crashes horribly
it's just sad to watch
seriously squidward laughing over gary
suffering a brutal crash
for shame man that's too cruel even for
you
though i will say this was a really
funny joke she's
a purebred wow a snail made out of bread
and patrick's pet rock winning the race
that was a kind of awesome way to end it
it's a shame we never see this snail
again i feel like squidward could have
used a quiet companion
look how happy gary makes spongebob well
anyway
and before we get to number one just a
few quick honorable mentions
new student starfish the majority of it
just involves patrick getting spongebob
in trouble with mrs puff
this leads him into a petty squabbling
getting detention
they do learn to work together at the
end but this episode just isn't very
funny or charming
certainly for a classic episode
squirlium returns
i really disliked the ending to this one
where the rug is pulled under
squidward's legs
considering that band geeks and even
house fancy has a more satisfying
outcome
this episode left a bad taste in my
mouth in fact
just as nasty as crab's appetizer
appetizer
squeaky boots this one is surprisingly
divisive among spongebob fans
it's mainly remembered due to spongy's
annoying new squeaky boots and the
constant squeaky noise they make
i uh see you're still wearing them boots
but i actually found this joke kind of
funny in repetition and i like how it
shows crabs slowly increasing guilt
after he scams spongebob
anyway with those set on to number one
and i think
easily the number one worst classic
spongebob episode is
i'm with stupid i've heard people say
they still haven't fully forgiven
patrick for this episode yet
and sadly i kind of agree with them i
almost feel like this was the
point of no return episode for him where
patrick first crosses the line between
being charmingly silly and obnoxiously
awful and selfish
because he becomes so outrageously rude
towards spongebob when patrick's parents
come over to visit him he panics because
of their lack of respect towards him
and his stupidity so spongebob offers to
act stupid to make patrick's parents
think their son is smarter by comparison
when your parents see how dumb i act
they'll think you're the smartest guy
ever
but for some reason patrick soon starts
believing that spongebob is
actually stupid and then the barrage of
insults on spongebob begins
to the point where we're just watching
this long drawn out scene of patrick and
his
parents mocking and laughing at
spongebob and it just goes
on and on hey spongebob
do you have any mascara i could borrow
it's an episode that's almost painful to
sit through like i had to keep psyching
myself
up into hitting the play button because
i kept pausing the cringy episode
on a side note does anyone else find
spongebob's helmet kind of tasteless
i think little details like that
probably wouldn't have flown as well in
2020 but i guess the year 2000 was a
very different time in a lot of ways
anyway it gets even worse when spongebob
practically
begs patrick to stop but he just keeps
mocking and jeering at spongebob
so what's on your mind no wait i already
know the answer
nothing and it just keeps going
pointing and jeering and mocking and
just
ugh make it end already
now he's short circuiting you must have
taught him a little too much
why is spongebob even hanging out with
these awful people just leave patrick's
house and go home
take gary for a walk or something or go
see sandy they like you as you are
in a moment of pure relief he finally
leaves patrick's rock
but not before going insane with
frustration but wait
it turns out those weren't patrick's
parents anyway
making this episode completely pointless
to what poor spongy was originally
trying to help his friend with
impressing his parents patrick's real
parents do turn up at the end though
hopefully they're a little nicer to
people than the uh
weirdos patrick invited him what
happened to spongy though
we never see hopefully he's alright
anyway i can say quite easily this is my
absolute least favorite episode of the
first three seasons
in other words the worst classic
spongebob episode
although some people consider early
spongebob to be a timeless section of
cartoon history
back then much of the character's
personalities were still being developed
the characters i nowadays just assume
were always like that
the fact that the show's creators could
repeatedly strike lightning
so many times in early seasons really
was a testament to the sheer
effort they put into this show and today
as well i still have tons of respect for
this show's team
and i hope to see spongy keep showing up
on my tv for many more years
and if you've got any lousy classic
episodes you think i missed feel free to
leave your own thoughts in the comments
below
and as always thanks for watching and
i'll see you next time
you