WE'RE HERE WITH OUR FRIEND BILL O'REILLY.
ALL RIGHT.
CHRIS WALLACE IS A FIRST TIME MODERATOR FOR THE DEBATE.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: THIS WEDNESDAY WE'LL BE LIVE.
>> FOR THE SHOW, EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK EACH CANDIDATE HAS TO DO?
WHAT DOES TRUMP AND HILLARY HAVE TO DO?
>> WALLACE IS A GOOD MODERATOR BECAUSE HE'S A TOUGH GUY LIKE
HIS FATHER, MIKE WALLACE.
HE'S NOT GOING TO BROOK THE NONSENSE.
>> Stephen: NO BROOKING.
NO.
THERE WILL BE A LITTLE MORE CREDIBILITY TO IT, I THINK.
IT'S HARD WHEN YOU HAVE TWO PEOPLE MODERATING THE AT THE
BAIT.
WALLACE WILL BE CENTRALIZED AND GO IN WITH SOME FESS.
>> Stephen: I HOPE.
SO THAT'S A LOW STANDARD.
YOU SAY HE HAS QUESTIONS?
( LAUGHTER ) >> HE'LL GO IN WITH QUESTIONS HE
WANTS ANSWERED NOT BY COMMITTEE.
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE ARTICULATE ON THAT.
THESE COMMITTEE QUESTIONS ARE RIDICULOUS.
ANYWAY, IF I'M SECRETARY CLINTON, I IGNORE DONALD TRUMP,
I IGNORE HIM BECAUSE HER BIG DEFICIT, AND THE POLLS SHOULDN'T
BE THIS CLOSE, THE ABC POLL HAS JUST 4.
SO IF I'M SECRETARY CLINTON, I LOOK RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA AND
SAY, LOOK, I'M NOT THE DRAGON LADY THEY PORTRAY ME TO BE, AND
HERE'S HOW I WANT TO HELP YOU.
IF SHE IGNORES TRUMP, IT BECOMES VAUDEVILLE.
IF I'M TRUMP, STOP WHINING.
THIS IS THEE THE THREE THINGS I HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT --
>> Stephen: IT'S RIGGED, IT'S RIGGED, IT'S RIGGED.
>> HE SHOULD HAVE A BUZZER THAT EVERY TIME HE WHINES IT'S --
BAAAA!
>> Stephen: A SHOCK COLLAR LIKE YOU GET FOR THE DOG.
>> BOTH CANDIDATES HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN THEM OVER IF THEY
CONVINCE VOTERS THEY WANT TO HELP THEM.
THE OTHER STUFF, WE KNOW IT.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE QUESTION CHRIS WALLACE SHOULD
ASK SECRETARY CLINTON ABOUT?
>> THE OPEN BORDERS THINGS ON THE WIKILEAKS, FIRST.
IF HILLARY CLINTON IS SAYING I WANT AN OPEN BORDER WHERE
ANYBODY CAN COME IN ANYTIME AND DO ANYTHING, SHE NEEDS TO
EXPLAIN THAT.
>> Stephen: SHE'S SAYING THAT TO GOLDMAN SACHS, NOT THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE.
>> OKAY, THAT'S FINE.
( LAUGHTER ) IF YOU'RE TRUMP, YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY EXPERIENCE, YOU'RE A BUSINESSMAN AND YOU SAY YOU'RE
GOING TO DO ALL THESE THINGS.
WELL, I WANT TOOTH TODAY IN THE THIRD DEBATE -- I'M CHRIS
WALLACE NOW -- YOU WANT TO TAKE THEIR OIL?
HOW?
>> Stephen: WE'RE GOING TO BE TOUGH, CHRIS.
WE'VE HAD BAD LEADERSHIP, WE'RE GOING TO BE TOUGH AND WE'RE
GOING TO DO IT BECAUSE TIME FOR PLAYING IS OVER.
>> YOU HAVE YOUR BAND AND AS SOON AS HE STARTS THAT STUFF,
THEY START PLAYING.
AS SOON AS HE STARTS THAT STUFF, THAT BAND STARTS PLAYING.
♪ >> SOUNDS GOOD.
>> Stephen: ASK ME ANOTHER TOUGH QUESTION.
>> MR. TRUMP, YOU SAY MEXICO IS GOING TO PAY FOR THE WALL ON THE
BORDER.
HOW?
>> Stephen: THEY'RE GOING TO.
LOOK, WE'VE GOT A TRADE DEFICIT WITH MEXICO --
♪ >> Stephen: NO!
DON'T PLAY ME OFF!
YOU'RE FIRED!
>> Jon: HEY!
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT.
>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS, OKAY.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU GOT THE NEW BOOK CALLED "KILLING THE RISING
SUN."
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: OKAY, YOU KILLED KENNEDY, YOU'VE KILLED LINCOLN,
PATTON.
>> REAGAN LAST NIGHT.
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.
"KILLING THE RISING SUN" IS KIND OF VAGUE.
>> IT'S JAPAN!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU SEE THE LATLE ATOM BOMB -- THE LITTLE ATOM BOMB THERE?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: IS THERE A SCANDAL
HERE.
>> NO SCANDAL, ALL RIGHT?
YOU DESPERATELY NEED TO READ THIS BOOK OR HAVE SOMEONE READ
IT TO YOU, ALL RIGHT?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WILL YOU?
YOU CAN'T AFFORD ME.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, I UNDERSTAND.
>> THIS BOOK PUTS YOU RIGHT ON THE GROUND WHEN THE ATOM BOMB
DROPS ON HIROSHIMA.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY EXPERIENCED SO IT DOESN'T HAPPEN
AGAIN, COLBERT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO?
>> I WOULDN'T BE HERE.
MY FATHER WAS ON THE WAY TO JAPAN.
>> Stephen: YOUR FATHER WAS -- YEAH, ON A TRANSPORT SHIP
TAKING THE MARINES.
>> Stephen: CHANCES ARE A LOT OF THE MARINES WOULD HAVE DIED
AND NO BILL RILEY.
>> YOU WOULD HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER GUEST.
>> STEPHEN: THE BOOK IS "KILLING THE RISING SUN."
BILL O'REILLY, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH RANDALL PARK.