Transcriber: Diana Simões Reviewer: Rhonda Jacobs
I always wanted to be a teacher.
In fact, teaching felt more like a calling than a choice,
like it chose me.
And teaching music was really the only thing that I wanted to do,
because when I was a student,
music class was the place where I felt like I belonged,
where I felt comfortable and confident.
And my music teachers taught me the importance
of sharing music as a way to connect with other people,
and as a way to elevate humanity with something beautiful.
I couldn’t wait to get into my own classroom and inspire people,
especially young people, to discover their voice.
I mean, this is how I was going to change the world.
And like so many teachers, my career became more than just a job,
it became a part of who I was.
And it still is a part of who I am.
Because here’s the thing:
teachers have the most important job in the world.
You lay a foundation for every other career.
You inspire curiosity
and ignite passion.
You embolden creative thinkers,
and you foster a love of learning, and you propel new generations,
and that’s just in your day job.
So for all of you teachers out there watching today,
we are going to celebrate you because you are a big deal,
and we are creating big impacts on the kids we work with every day.
Yes, yes, yes.
(Laughs) (Applause) (Cheers)
And because of your deep commitment to your profession,
it becomes a part of your identity,
which is amazing,
but it’s also where we start to lose ourselves
and our identities beyond being a teacher.
And when we look at how teachers are praised and revered
for being “self-less,”
constantly giving of self,
I start to wonder when is it acceptable to lose one’s sense of self,
and how is it impacting our students?
The truth is: you can’t give something you don’t have.
So if you don’t have a sense of self or a sense of intentions, boundaries,
or personal priorities,
then what do you have to give?
And not just to your students and your colleagues,
but to your families and the people at home,
to your pets, and even your plants.
And consistently trying to pour from an empty vessel
just generates feelings of resentment and frustration.
And to add to it, teachers face the stress
of ever-changing school initiatives and state mandates,
safety protocols, active-shooter drills,
laws about curriculum, last-minute schedule changes,
oh, and not to mention actually teaching your content.
And it just seems as if the proverbial plates are never big enough,
and they are perpetually overflowing.
This is not a narrative that’s sustainable.
Feeling frustrated and depleted is not what you signed up for.
And it can be really easy to feel the need to just push through and carry on
because we’re doing it for the kids.
But if we were to be really honest about this,
this is not okay!
The teachers are not okay; the administrators are not okay.
And this is not how we maintain high standards of education for our children,
nor how we maintain a longevity in this career.
So we’re going to be busting up some disempowering ideas
about what it means to be a teacher,
so we can start having a very important conversation and move forward,
so you can get back to having the massive impact
that you said that you wanted to make when you first started teaching.
So first of all, teachers are not superheroes.
Now, I know that this is an unpopular opinion, but just hear me out.
Teachers are heroes.
Definitely.
But they are human heroes.
Superheroes have no regard for their own well-being.
You never hear Superman saying:
“Hey, guys, I know the world is on fire and everything,
but I really need to take some me time for today.”
And when we make the comparison to these immortal and indestructible superheroes,
we forget that teachers are people.
People with incredibly big hearts.
But human nonetheless, who need to actually take care of themselves.
So what if we flip the script about selflessness and change the story?
What if instead we embraced and embodied the idea
that the most generous thing you can do for your students
is take care of yourself.
I know this seems like a radical idea, especially in education,
and some people ask me:
“Well, Jen, if we’re focused on ourselves all the time,
then what about the kids?”
And that’s a great question.
What about the kids?
Well, first, we need to consider what we’re modeling for our students.
What are the messages that they are actually receiving
when they see all of the adults in their lives
living with frustration and burnout and perpetual stress,
yet pushing through and carrying on in the name of selflessness and martyrdom?
We are teaching our kids how to live a life that normalizes burnout.
And secondly, when we are feeling this way,
we don’t have the capacity to hold space for our students,
especially when they need us most.
So what does taking care of yourself even mean?
I want to take a look at this through the lens of cognitive neuroscience,
so you can see what’s going on in your brain
when you are experiencing
which affects the way you perceive and experience the world.
So this is your amygdala.
Now, this is the part of your brain
that’s responsible for your stress response:
a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
And it hasn’t really evolved much
since the days that we were hunting and gathering and being chased by bears.
So, even though you may be doing something that seems harmless,
like having a difficult conversation, or trying something new,
your brain thinks you are in danger and you are going to die.
And as a part of that stress response, because now we’re in survival mode,
it cuts off any access to unnecessary parts of our brain for survival,
like your prefrontal cortex.
And this is the part of your brain responsible for higher order thinking,
like organizing and prioritizing and problem solving and creativity.
So, if your mind and your body think you’re in danger
and going to be mauled by a bear,
how can we show up and do the things that we say we want to do?
How can a teacher stand in front of their class
and inspire their students,
without creativity,
and problem solving and organizing?
How can we teach if we are being chased by a bear?
We can’t.
And this stress has become chronic.
Many of us wake up feeling activated.
So if we want to become empowered in our lives,
both at home and at school and work,
we need to get rid of the bear.
But it’s not really a bear, right?
It’s stress and worry of all of the expectations and obligations.
And it’s anxiety of all of the things that are out of our control.
So in order for you to tell if you are activated into this survival state,
is by noticing what’s going on in your body.
We all know what it’s like to feel stressed out, right?
Our stomach is tight, our muscles tense up,
our heart rate gets really fast, our head aches, or, for me,
you sweat a lot. (Laughs)
And our bodies talk to us all the time,
but we are terrible listeners.
And in an effort to just keep going and carrying on,
we ignore the signs,
and we just keep doing what we’re doing because we’re doing it for the kids.
But how are we actually showing up when we are feeling this way?
We’re irritable and impatient,
and we’re resentful and exhausted.
And eventually we get sick.
So we need to pay attention to our body
and take care of ourselves.
And now, the self-care that I’m talking about right now
is not bubble baths and massages and taking a mental health day.
And, while those things are great,
they do not get to the core of sustainable well-being.
We need to practice strategies of self-awareness and self-regulation
in real time,
so we can make conscious choices
of how we want to show up as our best selves.
Otherwise we’re just having subconscious knee-jerk reactions
to everything that happens to us throughout the day
because we’re just trying to survive.
So one of the simplest ways to move your nervous system
from a sense of survival to a sense of safety
(Exhales)
is by breathing.
I’m sure all of you have been breathing very successfully your whole lives,
which is awesome,
but, this type of intentional breathing serves a much different purpose.
And then we just take a few moments and pay attention to our breath,
(Inhales and exhales)
you start to notice that your heart rate slows down.
You become more focused.
I’m even feeling more relaxed,
which is pretty amazing considering I’m up here doing a TED Talk. (Laughs)
And breathing is just one of the many ways that you can regulate.
We can move.
Any time we move our body, we are going to change our emotional state.
So go for a walk.
Dance.
Sing. That’s my favorite.
(Singing) Just sing.
(Laughter)
Or when the circumstances are right,
get into your car, roll up your windows, and just let out a big releasing scream.
When was the last time you did that?
But you need to do something with your body
because that’s where feelings are.
And while deep breathing and cathartic screaming feel relaxing,
the heart of this exercise is nervous system regulation,
so you can get rid of the bear.
Or if the bear is still there, it looks like this now.
(Laughter)
Right?
(Laughter)
And I also need to say this too.
We’re not changing the world with deep breathing.
That’s ridiculous.
There are very serious problems
in the organizational structures within our school systems
that are very real.
However, at the very least, we need to come from a place
where we have access to the part of the brain that we need
in order to solve the problems.
If we can’t even think clearly, how can we make effective change?
Or ask for what we want?
Or advocate for our students?
Which is why you need to start with yourself.
Strengthen your notice muscle, and regulate.
Breathe.
Honor your beautiful biology
that is working so hard to do its job to keep you alive,
which, by the way, it’s doing great because you’re all here right now.
And breathe again.
And when you need to let it out, which we all do,
make it safe to cry.
Feel through your emotions
and honor the most beautiful thing of what it means to be human.
Our children are watching us.
What if instead they had examples of all of the adults in their lives
managing and processing their emotions
in ways that were healthy and safe and productive?
When you do this, how would you show up to that difficult conversation?
Or engage with that challenging student?
One of the best things about this is that this doesn’t have to be a solo activity.
When I was teaching middle school choir,
and I’d have 70 or 80 middle school students in front of me
and I felt activated or I knew that they were,
we would just take a few moments to breathe.
And I’ll tell you, those classes were some of the most productive,
because I was available;
I could respond;
I could problem solve and be creative.
And so could they.
So in a system that reveres selflessness,
we must remember that the most generous thing you can do for your students
is take care of yourself.
Empowered teachers empower their students.
And this is how we are going to make generational change
that will transform our school cultures and the communities we serve.
Thank you.
(Applause) (Cheers)