Hey.
What the hell are you doing?
I was hungry. Taste.
(Sam gasps)
(Chuckles) Mmm.
-Carbonara. -Mm-hmm.
-You don't have to tell me. -(chuckling)
So good.
♪ Fly on ♪
♪ If the wind's got something ♪
The light ♪
♪ Till you're burned by the sun ♪
-♪ Underground. ♪ -So...
(Sighs, inhales sharply)
Can we talk about the man that was in your bed?
Mom, what is the big deal?
Jason sleeps over all the time.
Not the same.
This kid was old.
Don't treat me like a baby.
You can't stop me from having agency over myself.
I know you think I'm an idiot, but I swear to you
That I know more about boys and men than you do right now.
Says the woman who hasn't had a single successful relationship
During my entire lifetime.
Mm. I'm okay with that.
Mom, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to help you.
So can we please talk about the Hinge profile that I made you?
(Exhales)
We need to...
Have the talk.
Okay?
A discussion...
About this.
About the boy in your bed.
It doesn't have to be today, but...
We're gonna have a talk.
You and I need to have a...
A discussion.
O-Okay?
-Okay. -Okay.
Mom, in a few years, my sisters and I will all have moved out,
And you'll just be dating Gran, so we need to find you a man
Who's responsible enough to take care of you
If you break a hip or something,
But still immature enough with you to play pranks.
God.
Just make sure he has a job and nice teeth.
(Laughs) Got me.
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm.
When we're married,
I want you to make this for me once a week.
Oh, I'm never getting married again.
I don't believe in marriage.
Neither do I.
(Thunder rumbling)
-Jesus! -(door closes)
Lock the doors. Shelter in place.
Oh, my God. Nan!
I called the police about the helicopters.
There's a robbery suspect running around the hills.
You gave me a heart attack, Phil.
Oh. How lovely.
Is this a late-night bite or an early morning biadh maidne.
SAM: Her nibs made it.
I want to put some of this chili...
-Can you do this, for me? -FRANKIE: Yeah.
Aw, I'm so sorry you've got that.
-It's fine. -My mother had bad hands, too.
Blame her. Oh, and me, I suppose.
If I ever get the impulse to just strike up conversation
With complete strangers everywhere I go,
I will 100% hold it against you, Sam.
Great. Now I have something else to be anxious about.
-Mom. -Hmm?
-Aside from now... -Mm-hmm.
Do you ever get anxiety?
What's the point of that?
That must come from the Jewish side of your family.
Anxiety? Useless emotion.
It's a good thing we took that DNA test, because sometimes
I really doubt we're related.
Oh, we most certainly are.
After your brother ripped me wide open
With his ridiculously large head,
I simply refused to have an episiotomy with you.
Well, good thing I probably slipped right out,
Because... tiny,
And you being primed and all.
No. We had to break your collarbone to get you out.
You screamed bloody murder.
Well, if you think about it, Sam,
It was either your collarbone or her vagina.
Kind of like Sophie's Choice but with body parts.
Jesus!