While everyone remembers their favorite onscreen first kiss, there are probably countless not-so-awesome
kisses we wish we could erase from our brains forever.
Whether it's coming from an awkward boss, or, gross, your brother, some of these smooches
are downright horrifying.
Here are some of the most awkward and uncomfortable first kisses to ever skeeve us out.
Prin-Sis Leia
The Star Wars galaxy is full of aliens, droids, and other unspeakably bizarre creatures, so
it's unexpected that one of the grossest moments in the entire series involves two humans.
The Luke and Leia kiss in The Empire Strikes Back falls squarely into the category of "awkward
in retrospect."
There's nothing weirder than falling for a dude and then learning he's your twin brother
after you've already kissed him in front of all of your best friends.
Not safe for work
Imagine the most awkward, uncomfortable and inappropriate workplace seminar ever, and
then multiply that by a million.
You've got the season three episode of The Office, "Gay Witch Hunt".
Bumbling boss Michael Scott attempts to educate his staff about LGBT rights, and, in the process,
ends up accidentally outing office accountant Oscar Martinez.
After Oscar admits that he's gay, Michael's apology goes over the top.
Monkey love
Interspecies hookups are usually pretty awkward by definition, but this one is weirder than
most.
In the original 1968 Planet of the Apes, the very human George Taylor enlists lady-ape
Zira during his escape through the Forbidden Zone, and when they part, he asks for a fond
farewell.
"Doctor, I'd like to kiss you goodbye."
Since it was decades before the advent of CGI, actor Charlton Heston was literally kissing
an actress in an ape suit, making the whole thing even more absurd.
"Alright, but you're so damned ugly."
The 2001 remake of Planet of the Apes might have changed some plot points, but director
Tim Burton made sure to keep an awkward interspecies kiss in the plot.
Captain Leo Davidson has a slow burning romance with an ape activist in the 2001 remake that
eventually culminates in an awkward goodbye kiss.
Whether it's Charlton Heston in the original or Mark Wahlberg in the remake, it seems like
kissing apes is just baked into the franchise.
Gross and grosser
Lloyd and Mary's imaginary kiss in 1994's Dumb and Dumber might be the grossest smooch
on this list.
It's hard to say what's more disgusting… the way that Lloyd seems to be tasting Mary's
tonsils, or the gargling noises he makes while doing it.
Amazingly, this smooch nabbed the MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss in 1995.
By the time they accepted the award, stars Lauren Holly and Carrey were an item in real
life.
"Just to let you know, Jim Carrey really does kiss like that."
The two later married but Holly filed for divorce after only nine months, so… maybe
she wasn't joking about the way Carrey kisses?
Pretty weird
While the first kiss between rich boy Blane and DIY darling Andie in '80s classic Pretty
in Pink should have been a highlight of the film, it frankly just comes off as super weird.
While the iconic and rather chaste kiss between Samantha and Jake in fellow brat pack comedy
Sixteen Candles was sweet, this smooch is just a bit… much.
Blane splays his fingers over Andie's face like a blind man trying to figure out what
she looks like.
And then the kiss just keeps going and going.
And going.
Most first kisses are unforgettable, but we would love to be able to forget this one.
The Virgin Diaries
Finally, any list of awkward first kisses wouldn't be complete without including the
endearingly inexperienced couple Ryan and Shanna from the 2011 TLC reality special,
The Virgin Diaries.
The pair shared their very first kiss on their wedding day - not just with each other, but
with anybody at all - at the altar in front of all their friends and family.
Which might be why they look like they're trying to chew each others' heads in half.
According to Daily Mail, the couple got some practicing in after the wedding, with Ryan
saying of that first kiss,
"I had never kissed a girl before I married Shanna and you know I wasn't really planning
ahead, or thinking about what to do."
Shanna agreed, saying,
"It was kinda hard for me because I hadn't really kissed anybody, so I didn't really
know what I was doing.
So when I went to first kiss him, I just went full force because I was, like, excited."
Good luck, you crazy lovebirds!
Pro tip?
Don't take kissing lessons from Pac Man.
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