Tess Brigham: So what do you do if a co worker steals your work?
I'm going to teach you two different approaches that you
can take to make sure that you always get credit for your work.
My name is Tess Brigham. I'm a licensed psychotherapist and
board certified coach. And welcome to my youtube channel.
I'm here every single Thursday, with lots of support and advice
and tips and guidance for young adults like yourself. So let's
get started. So we've all had at least one moment in our lives,
where we felt like someone stole something from us, right? took
credit for our joke to credit for our work took, right you put
their name on something that you work so hard for. This is
something that across the board, I don't know, I don't haven't
met anybody who hasn't had some sliver of this sort of
experience in their life. And I first want to say that it can
make you feel so incredibly angry, and powerless. And I
first want to say that you have every right in the world to be
mad to be angry, to want to feel like I need to get even with
this person. Now you have the right to all those feelings,
those are all okay feelings to have. there not feelings that I
suggest that you act on. Which is why when you first learn that
someone is taking credit for your work, I would really urge
you give yourself at least 24 hours to calm down to process.
If you feel like I can't wait that long, at least 12. Give
yourself several hours, to process the feelings to let
yourself be angry to stomp and kick and be mad and frustrated
to you know, think about the ways that you're gonna exact
revenge. And then say to yourself, okay, there's a better
way. because trust me getting angry, yelling and screaming,
you know, going after revenge, that those things, the revenge
part, especially that only happens in the movies and only
works in the movies. If you go about doing it this way, you
might create a big huge problem for yourself. So you have the
right to be mad. But after a certain amount of time, you
allow yourself to process the feelings, and then you can start
working on how to really address the issue. So as I mentioned,
there are sort of two different approaches that you can take,
you can take both of them or one. So the first one I want to
say involves other people. So the first approach is really to
when it's when I say involves other people, it means going to
the person who took credit for your work who, you know, might
have put their name on something that you did that you were there
late night working hard, you know, sweating away at and they
weren't there at all, and now they're taking credit for it, I
would approach them directly. And as much as you want to just
get in there fresh and golden really can't believe you did
that the best approach to take is from a place of curiosity.
Right? Take a deep breath and ask them and say, you know, I'm
really curious about what happened over there. Because you
said that we did all of this. And I'm a little confused about
who what your role is in this project, you know, really put it
back on them to explain why they took the credit, that curiosity
and the asking questions. It is a very, it's a very subtle way
of showing them like you're not accusing them, because if you
accuse them, they're instantly going to get defensive and deny
or Gaslight or do something like that. But getting curious asking
questions, what you're doing is you're saying to them, I see
what you're doing. I'm acknowledging it, I'm not okay
with it. So we're going to talk about it. And that way, once
you're talking to them about it, maybe it might not change this
particular situation right now, you know, it might be too late.
But it shows them that you're paying attention, that you're
willing to say something, you have the guts to say something,
and that you're not going to let slide. And then that's your
moment where you can really set a boundary with them around
like, hey, next time something like this happens, I want to
talk about it ahead of time, or next time we're going to present
to the group, you know, I think you and I need to get on the
same page about what your role is and what my role is. All
right. That's the first thing that you can do if you want to
involve other people. The second one is you could go to your
manager boss. This one is always a little trickier and a little
bit tougher. I don't know your particular work situation. So I
think it is so different for everybody. But you have to be
you know, again, it's the relationship that you have with
a co worker, it's the relationship that you have with
your boss. And so I would say to you really think this through
and talk to someone that you really trust at the company or a
mentor at the company before you go to your boss and create this
and make this claim. Because once you go to your boss and you
make this claim It might be something that might roll out
become bigger than you want it to. And it's really important
that you feel comfortable with whatever your choice is. So just
think it through first. So that's you, that's when you can
involve other people. The other option is, and it might be a
good stance to take first is, really it involves you, which is
how can you change your presence at the company? How do you speak
up for yourself more, what I'm talking about is speaking up
more in meetings, you know, not just throwing, you know, sharing
ideas with one person and letting them steal them and run
with them. But like, when you have a great idea, bringing it
up to a group, having lots of witnesses that see you bring up
this great idea. It means promoting yourself more letting
people know, and not not I was here till 11 o'clock last night
thing. But more of, hey, I've been working on this project,
let me tell you all about it. People don't do enough of that.
And I think especially women don't do enough of that of like
just putting together an email of all the things that you've
been working on and sharing it with a manager or a boss or see
seeing some people, you know, just self promotion, there is a
big part about work is self promotion, you know, I have my
own business. So I have to self promote, hello, that's why I'm
here. But even if you work at a company and you are getting a
salary, you constantly have to self promote yourself within
that company. Right? People have to know who you are. So if
someone's easily swooping in and stealing your ideas, I want you
to ask yourself, How much am I really promoting myself? How
much am I really talking about what I'm doing and what my good
deeds are. And the second thing that you can do is always take
notes of what you said, when you said it, how you said it, you
know, time date, whatever. If you are riffing with one person,
you can come up with a great idea. Make sure that you email
it and email it to that person and email it and see see someone
else like have a paper trail that shows you know, this was my
idea. This was my work. I'm the originator of it. And here it
goes. Right always have proof of that this is you know, this was
my idea, basically. And so you can take this a couple different
ways. I highly recommend definitely doing the things that
involve yourself the work on you to ensure that you're promoting
yourself, getting all the proof that you need taking credit when
you do and, you know, ensuring that people know what you're
contributing to the company. And then if you feel like I have to
say something to this person, then I really urge you to be
curious, ask questions, and then set a boundary about what it's
going to look like moving forward. And if you're going to
invoke involve a manager, always make sure that you think
through, you know, what's the manager going to have to do
afterwards? Am I okay with if this gets escalated somewhere
else? All right. That's it for this week. If you enjoy this
video, please give it a thumbs up or comment below. If you
found this video helpful and think that someone else in your
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subscribe to my channel. I'm here every single Thursday. All
right, I'll see you next week. Bye bye.