We have something very exciting to discuss right now.
One of us- I won't say which of us.
It could be Matt Gourley, it could be Conan O'Brien,
or it could be Sona Movsesian.
One of us is about to be a published author.
I can definitively say it's not me.
Right. I'm not even a published reader.
(all laugh)
What?
Not sure how that joke works,
but we'll do some triage on it and figure it out.
Sona, this is exciting. You have a book coming out.
Tell us. What's the book called?
It's called "The World's Worst Assistant."
Yes! Yes.
I love it. Finally, vindication.
It is.
I have to say out of the three of us,
it is shocking I'm the only one who wrote a book.
I don't think so. I'm not even kid-
No, it is. Especially, Conan, with you 'cause you're-
I'll get there someday.
You- yeah.
Let's focus on the book.
You've written a book called "The World's Worst Assistant."
And it chronicles what, Sona?
It chronicles my time as your assistant.
Yes. Thank you.
And I have to say, I read the book, my wife read the book.
We both thought it was spectacular.
You are very honest.
There are some real... I know.
You are quite honest in this book
about the ways in which you took advantage
of my kindness and idiocy
to make that job a boondoggle for you.
And you give great advice
for how people can emulate you, yes?
Well, I think when I first started writing it,
I thought, "Oh, am I gonna make Conan look bad?"
And then when I was done with the book,
I made you look great, and I made myself look horrible.
And I think that- I wouldn't say that.
Well, no. I do. I look terrible.
I think that there's a lot that I have gotten away with,
but I think it's a credit to you
because especially now,
there's a lot of conversation about shitty bosses.
And you are not a shitty boss.
I think the fact that I could make fun of you
and say things to you means that you're not a shitty boss.
Oh, people will read this and go,
"Well, what was his problem?
Why didn't he fire her a long time ago?"
(all laugh)
"This guy was asleep at the switch."
No, you know, I have to say, it is very well done.
The book is really well done. It's really funny.
And there's some real sweet parts in it, too.
And I was very impressed your husband does
the artwork for it.
And it's really good.
And funny. Very funny. It is.
He made you look really pathetic.
Yes.
I spent hours posing for him.
He really captured my complete ability-
my complete inability to establish order in a workplace.
Yeah, I did think of how would I wanna write a book
that I would wanna read?
And I realized I would want cartoons in a book,
so I just put a lot of cartoons
and illustrations in mine, and pictures.
And I wrote the forward.
And you wrote the forward,
which is clearly just the strongest,
best part of the whole book. No, no.
It's a really good book.
It's a really good book. Yeah, but I mean,
it's, you know.
And I talk about how my book peaked at the forward,
and I think it's very true.
I have a prediction that fans of this podcast-
'cause I'm constantly meeting people who listen
to the podcast.
They always ask me...
And it's funny.
I used to get this a lot when I would-
for years and years and years
when I was doing the late night show or the Conan show.
Wherever I was- I could be anywhere in the world-
and people would say, "Where's Andy?"
They thought that we traveled together.
And, you know, if I walked into a men's room,
they didn't know why Andy wasn't with me to take the urinal,
you know, to my right,
which is the position he's supposed to be assuming.
And it's the same thing now because of the podcast.
I go places and they go like,
"Well, where's Sona? Where's Matt?"
And I go, "Well, I'm taking the, you know,
family on a vacation in Tahiti.
Why would I take them with me?"
But they insist that you guys must be somewhere.
But I think fans of the podcast
are gonna really like the book.
I do talk about the podcast 'cause I think...
You know, this is very nerve-wracking sometimes.
You guys have done this a lot.
Like you guys have-
you've performed in front of people,
you've done so many podcasts.
But I think I'm the odd man out having never done it.
And it can be very nerve-wracking,
but I do talk about how I became a national speech champion
and that after that,
everything else just didn't didn't matter.
What age did you become a speech champion?
Come on.
No, I'm serious. I'm asking.
I was 20.
Yeah, when you were 20 in college.
In college.
In college, you won a national speech championship.
I did.
And I remember when I first hired Sona,
months after I hired her,
you dropped that you had been a national speech champion.
And then every time you and I would get into an argument,
you would bring it up.
Like, "Hey, wait a minute.
I'm a national speech champion."
I'd say, "I know.
What does that have to do with the fact
that you you embezzled $35
or you fed gummy worms into the printer as a prank?
What does that-"
"I was a national speech champion."
I like that instead of the world deciding
that you peaked too soon, you proclaim, "I peaked then."
That's exactly right.
Takes the pressure off.
And I do mention how out of the podcast,
my friendship with Matt Gourley started
and how that's my favorite part about it.
Aw, my God. That's really nice.
Yeah, but also, you know, you commit crimes.
Don't know what you're talking about.
And by the way, let's keep the focus on you, Sona.
No, I mean, one of the questions is,
"Doesn't the world's worst assistant
have the world's worst boss?"
Possibly. Possibly. No, I-
You commit crimes.
Of course.
You've allowed this to happen.
I allowed it to happen.
Even at its very worst,
I always thought our interaction was so funny and comical.
We were living out a sitcom of the-
Everything was so upside down in our relationship
as assistant, boss.
And you know, we live
in this world now where people are trying
to codify what does that mean, rules in the workplace.
And you and I always had a completely absurd relationship
to one another, and it got to the point where I thought,
"This is great.
This is more important than us setting the right example
for people in the world.
This is just too funny."
And I think it's been born out over time because-
I think so.
And I think one of the things that helps a lot
is you're always you.
You're always you,
and that's what I like about your book
is that your book is very honest.
And it is really a reflection of you.
Some of the things that you do that you describe
in the book may be criminal.
Did you check the statute of limitations on any of these?
But it's all done with love.
It's all done with love and a real joie de vivre,
and I think that's what makes it so much fun.
So I'm encouraging people to check out the book.
I'm excited for it to come out
and excited for people to read just what you've done.
That's true. It is very true.
A lot of it has been a lot of fun.
And it's been so much fun being your assistant,
and I love it, and I'm gonna do it 'til I die.
I'm just gonna ride those coattails forever.
That's true.
Just use those perks that I get.
One of my favorite pictures that we had
in the old office was we were at-
we were doing some event,
and it's me taking selfies with about 900 people
in the background.
And you're in the foreground not helping me at all,
drinking the largest pour of Chardonnay you've ever seen.
Someone put half a bottle of Chardonnay into a glass,
and you are enjoying it so much.
And I'm in the background working my ass off.
There it is. I love that photo.
There it is. Let me see.
There it is.
Let me see. Oh, there it is.
Oh, and look at your face.
Your face is kind of like, "I hope he's okay."
Oh my God!
My friend had me- We gotta post that.
Go to Team Coco Instagram.
We're gonna post it. I gotta find the clean
version of it, yeah. But it is...
And Team Coco podcast Instagram.
So tell us when this book is gonna be out
and where people can get it.
This book comes out July 19th. Comes out tomorrow.
And it's available everywhere.
Your independent bookstores, your Amazon,
your Barnes and Noble.
I mean, it's everywhere.
Gas stations, airport kiosks.
Okay.
I don't know. I'm just saying things now.
I don't know where to buy books.
I didn't think you did.
(all laugh)
That's why it's shocking I wrote one.
Well, congratulations.
Thank you very much.
The book again is called...
"The World's Worst Assistant."
And forward is written by you.
And the book by Sona Movsesian.
By me.
And art by...
By Tak Boroyan, my husband.
Very cool.
Congratulations.
Congratulations. Thank you, guys.