I stumbled upon this photo on Twitter and couldn't help but notice how childish Harry looks in here.
Let's take a closer look to the general context of
this picture to spot the clues that make this image even more unsettling!
Welcome back, my body language buddies! my name is Jesús Enrique Rosas, I'm the Body Language Guy,
and it would be great if you join us by just liking this video, subscribing and
hitting that bell! let's get down to it!
At first sight, it was a royal engagement like any other. Well,
they had already announced Megxit, since this was on March 11, 2020.
They were meeting young leaders from the Queen's Commonwealth Trust in London.
Now, let's go directly to the image in question.
The full version is this one, where both Meghan and Harry were laughing
together with Kenny Imafidon, one of the young leaders invited to the meeting.
We can use Kenny as an example, or control, as a normal reaction to a joke in formal situations.
It looks like he was reading or had some notes on his right hand,
and he's using his left to cover his face while he's laughing. At the same time he's
lowering his head so as to not be so obvious. This is a normal reaction in formal situations,
when you don't want to attract much attention to yourself. It's like a discreet way of laughing.
Now, Meghan. Well, I must say that her posture is quite good at that moment.
Really formal; ironically, she looked like a true royal, and it's not that hard to find examples of
Catherine sitting in a similar position,
with one leg crossed over the other, hands together and back upright.
But there is a big difference, and it's in her facial expression. Well, even before looking
at her face, there is no way to miss the external jugular vein that is about to pop.
We are used to see Meghan tense, both in her teeth grinding and her jaw muscles,
and this is another example of that tension. This is the kind of important details to
spot in body language. If you compare her head position to Catherine's head,
Meghan is perfectly straight, while Catherine's head has a subtle tilt to one side.
Even if both of them have their backs straight,
the neck always makes all the difference in the posture and general attitude of the person.
It's not like Meghan has a hostile attitude or anything, but she really wants her face to project
joy with a full smile, but you know by her straight neck and bulging vein, that she's tense.
And it's not like Meghan never tilts her head. There's more than enough visual proof that she
actually does it a lot of times, usually to her right side. So that's further proof that she was
tense at that moment. Maybe it was that she did not have any room to move. What do you think?
As usual, we can't leave before taking a closer look at her smile.
Her mouth gives a full smile. There is absolutely no doubt about this. That's a classic smile,
at least with her mouth. But what happens when we add her eyes? This is when you notice that
only the lower part of her cheeks are tense, and she's not reallly smiling with her eyes.
That's the face of your mother when you misbehaved in public and you KNEW
what was gonna happen once you got home.
Well, we have two reactions so far;
Kenny's, that can serve as control, and the uncomfortable attitude of Meghan.
I think this is more than enough to put Harry's outburst of childish laughter in context.
Not to mention, of course, that they were in the middle of a royal engagement.
He looks as excited as the Nintendo 64 Kid.
Now, don't get me wrong. It's great to be delighted, to laugh openly and to embrace
a good joke when the punchline hits you. We all need a good laugh every now and then. But It's
extremely rare to see a grown man laughing in such a way that he literally rolls in the couch,
rises his feet and shows his sloppy socks.
And you know that sloppy socks are a staple of Harry's personal brand.
Maybe this *could* be a valid attitude if he's at a pub with friends,
but it's still a stretch. I cannot imagine Jason Statham doing this. Or Ryan Gosling.
I cannot even imagine Adam Sandler doing this gesture, outside playing a character in a movie.
Because it's way too childish. He really looks like a man child in
there. And it's even more strange when you notice that it was the only moment when he
had that attitude. In the group photo he's standing with his shoulders broad,
when sitting he had his general happy attitude but nothing too exaggerated,
and even when not speaking he had a traditional masculine grown-up attitude.
So, this kind of reactions are like sudden bursts of childish attitudes. Like a sudden
display of how he really feels. And to be fair, Tom Cruise jumping on the couch was close enough,
but that is not childish. That is just plain maniac.
But I've told you a couple times that sudden reactions like this one are insights into any
person's behavior. Because most of the time we are trying to hide our true selves from the public.
But given the right stimulus, in this case a joke,
can let that true self manifest through body language.
And many people have called Harry a man child, because there are reasons to believe that part
of his childhood trauma just broke him in a way very difficult to repair.
Difficult situations and traumatic experiences can make a person stronger,
yes; but only when those situations are within the coping capacity of the person, or just a
bit over that capacity. A very good analogy is weight lifting. To get stronger, you put your
body under progressive stress, overloading its capacity in a way that it adapts to this demand.
But what happens when that stress overload goes WAY beyond what your body can handle? Well,
you can injure yourself badly, and sometimes in a permanent way.
A troubled childhood or traumatic experiences can leave a child injured psychologically,
because he hasn't developed the emotional tools to deal with such extreme situations.
And Harry's example is even more complicated by the fact that it's usually our mother the
one that helps us develop those emotional tools to cope with those situations. So if the tragedy
in itself is that you lose your mother, it's much, much worse than you might think.
I am not defending Harry's actions, or behavior, or attitude,
but this is a phenomenon that should be considered. The problem is that these
men develop a sense of insecurity, which is often acCOMpanied with an inferiority complex.
So it could lead to feeling jealous of the success of others, especially of siblings.
Childhood trauma can lead to an inability to make adult decisions,
not to mention dysfunctional and even toxic relationships.
They try to find a substitute for that parental love that they did not have,
or in Harry's case, that he lost, so he can live that childhood that he never got to truly enjoy.
Remember that he mentioned in the Oprah interview that he never got to ride a bicycle with his dad,
something that we already know it's not true, but now,
he keeps riding his bicycle all the time around Montecito.
Again, riding a bike as an adult has nothing to do with having a childhood trauma. That's
something that anyone can enjoy. But the fact that he did mention that supposed
lack of father and son experiences as a child, points to a perceived deprivation.
That's something relevant to him, and he's trying to live it now, decades after.
This would explain Harry's decisions. Again, not to take responsibility away from him,
because he's a grown adult, but at least helps us understand where that irresponsibility comes from.
And of course, it can lead to problems with jobs or duties,
so that also could explain why there is no podcast or documentary in sight.
Even so, once you've seen this picture, the context in which they were interacting,
his attitude the rest of the time, what do you think? and what would
you feel if you see a man that you like, doing this kind of gestures?
I would love to read your opinions in the comments.
If you want to refine your observation skills, all you have to do is download
my 100+ body language tips, right in the description of this video.
My name is Jesús Enrique Rosas and it will always be a pleasure,
my body language buddies! Much Love, and Bliss.