[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]
Hey Betty. That was definitely not supposed to happen.
It was just– she was being all supportive and-
Agggh. Stupid sexy vampire!
Stupid desperate hormones.
But it was just a slip, right? A one-time thing.
Because we are grown-ups.
And grown ups don’t just fling history and caution and all the stationery on top of their desks to the wind.
Grown-ups control their hormones, they do not control us.
Hey.
I was thinking about doing a coffee run, do you want anything?
[Way too perky] Yeah yeah coffee sounds great and totally normal, I really like coffee buddy!
Yeah I’m getting you decaf.
I’m doomed.
[Phone rings]
Hey Betty. I thought you couldn’t get through the communications block most of the time?
[Betty] Sometimes I just say that so I can screen your calls.
Because -and I can’t stress this enough- having to listen to you describe your dysfunctional sexcapades
with Puss in Biker Boots makes me want to punch out my ear-drums.
Yeah. Uh, sorry about that.
Focus up. The Dean is already onto the Fifth Gate and you need two more Horcruxes, Hollis.
Yeah.
About that.
Alright. Let’s say I admit- hypothetically-
that our best chance at getting the locket is summoning up the Dean’s Underworld nemesis.
How do we even know she has it?
How are we going to get her here?
And then when she’s here do we even think she’ll give us the locket?
I mean she’s the Deans sister, how do we know she’s even on our side?
Well the locket is hers. And she made it to trap the Dean to begin with.
Not to mention that she apparently “knows everything the dead will ever know”
which sounds like some sort of clairvoyance which might even include the fourth talisman.
So my vote is that we give one the invocations in the Book of Lives the good old Silas try.
Like- See, here. We could-
We could use the essence of the death lady to draw a circle and then contain her.
Yeah I mean it’s pretty hard to kill anyone if you’re all incorporeal and trapped.
OK, so we make a circle, summon up this Ereshkigal and then- what?
Convince her to give us the locket on our shared burning hatred for the Dean?
Well we’ve done stupider things.
Although, we didn’t have to run those plans by my father.
Into the bag Dad, just keep breathing into the bag.
And now, a quick recipe for Death God Summoning.
You will need half a cup of-
Desiccated spiders. Of course.
Why couldn’t they just use powdered sugar? What would be wrong with a little powdered sugar for once?
[Peppy magic-making montage music]
Alright. Here goes some witchcraft.
So. Hi. Queen of Death.
We were thinking we’d invoke you by the names of the Queen of the Earth,
She Who Guards the Gates, and Knows the Names of All the Dead.
We bind you and command you, stand before us now.
Pretty please?
I mean she has to show up eventually right?
[Loud tick-tocking]
Oooo.
Who are we waiting for?