- Good morning.
(drink slurps)
(exhales)
(screen beeps) (keyboard clicks)
♪ Ooh ♪
That's right, I'm up before noontime.
Hard to believe, I know.
Certainly my wife doesn't believe it,
but that's irrelevant
from when you're gonna see this video.
I'm here twofold today.
First of all, I'm about to show you the cutest,
what I believe to be the most adorable 747 pilot
on the planet.
Secondly, I wanna talk about the proliferation
of this TikTok misinformation,
that seems to go unchecked and unbridled
and just go super viral
in every different niche and industry.
- My name's Kelsey and I'm a 747 pilot.
- This dude's name is Kelsey.
He has a YouTube channel where he talks about plane stuff.
And he's awesome. He wears his captain shirt.
- Which means I fly this aircraft, and this one,
and sometimes even this one.
If you love aviation or it terrifies you,
my channel 74 Gear is for you.
- I mean, the man is posting absolute banger.
747 pilot reacting to plane things,
perfect recipe for YouTube.
And Kelsey being a smart mother (beeps)
did what any smart person would do,
and somehow found a way to integrate TikToK reactions
into his YouTube channel,
and had the biggest banger of his life three weeks ago
here at this terrible advice
on surviving plane crash TikTok Roast.
Because for some reason, there's a niche on TikToK
where young teenagers feel the need to explain
what to do during a plane accident!
- [Teen] Right here set the altitude to around 4,000 feet.
(cricket chirps)
- Even though they have no fucking idea.
And I thought it was hilarious
and Kelsey is too nice to these kids.
So I'm here to kind of clean up his niceties
and teach these kids a lesson
about not to be fucking stupid.
I mean, full-time job.
- I recently saw this video.
- [Teen] Both pilots are unconscious.
You're the last hope to save a plane from crashing.
Here's what to do.
- And I realized that new series called, TikTok Roast,
needed to be created because some of y'all out there
are giving terrible advice when it comes to aviation.
TikTok Roast, coming up.
- I mean, just look
at the cute little captain's buttoned down shirt.
He's beaming. He's absolutely radiant.
(angel sings)
And I love him, protect him at all costs.
- Recently, I've been getting a lot of DMs on my Instagram
from people sending me TikToks,
asking me if this is good advice or not,
from different TikTokers.
- News flash!
If you're ever on TikTok
and someone is trying to give you advice,
say it with me, it's-
- [Nigel] Probably bullshit.
- It is bullshit, that's absolutely correct.
Thank you, Nigel, by the way. (cricket chirps)
TikTok has become this landfill of misinformation,
because for some reason,
teenagers found out that you can
just act convicted about something
without any real knowledge of whether or not it's true.
And you have a chance to go viral,
which is the end all be all
of what teenagers want to be doing these days.
If you can go viral you can become a TikTok star
and then make a bunch of money for doing fucking nothing.
This somehow bled over into airplane safety
and Kelsey's here to set them on the straight and narrow.
- You think these TikTokers
who have little to no common sense or knowledge
about aviation are giving you tips.
- (laughs) Imagine that!
So before you watch some of these videos
and do something that could kill me while I'm on a plane,
watch this video. - Here you go.
- If your plane is about a crash.
I'm about to save your life
and make you millions of dollars.
- Okay, first of all, right out of the gates,
you can already tell this girl's
about to just lay on a whole bag of horseshit.
- Millions of dollars. (speech slows)
(horse neighs)
- All over your face, so let's see what she has to say.
- We're all told that if a plane is going down
to assume this position, but you do not.
When you're in this position,
your back is gonna break, including your spine,.
and you're gonna die immediately.
That's because if you survive this-
(laughs)
- Yeah, if you assume the safety position
and your plane crashes,
instant death, your back's gonna break.
But if you listen to this advice, I give ya,
it's gonna make ya a few-
- Millions of dollars. (speech slows)
Survive a plane crash, you can basically sue the airlines
for millions and millions and millions of dollars.
You're gonna win that.
So instead of getting into this position,
you're going to sit up straight
and put your feet on the seat in front of you.
This picture is not too accurate,
but it's hard to find on Google.
More realistically,
you're gonna wanna put your feet up like this
and your back is straight.
- Where the fuck,
where is she getting this information?
Is she just absolutely coming up
out of all of this out of thin air?
'Cause if so, kudos to her.
If she dead asses researched this
and really believes this shit,
I don't know what to say.
- Doing that, you legs will probably break,
but your survival rate is a lot higher.
- Data to support that please, anything?
- They literally want you to die
so you don't sue the airline.
- What the fuck?
(laughs)
- Look at Kelsey's little subtle expression
when she drops that little nugget.
- [TikTok Girl] When you die, so you don't do the airline.
(sci-fi music)
- Let me translate his look
into what he actually wants to say.
"No, bitch, what the fuck are you talking about?"
The airline doesn't want you to die, bro.
- What the fuck? - What are you saying?
- If it happens to you, hopefully it doesn't,
but if it does,
you'll see the flight attendants
take the position I told you.
- False.
- But the one thing they are right about
is you put your oxygen mask on first.
Then you can help other people with their mask.
We're gonna hope and pray this never happens,
but if it does just remember that position.
And sue that airline, get your millions.
- I guarantee you this fucking went viral on TikTok,
because a bunch of absolutely smooth brained morons
in the comments were debating on whether it's right or not.
Social media is a virus.
I hope we all die by a fucking comet strike tomorrow.
(dinosaur roars)
- So that's mostly all wrong.
- (laughs) Imagine that. - When someone says this.
- When you're in this position, your back is gonna break,
including your spine, and you're gonna die immediately.
- I mentioned before
that I was probably a C student in high school,
but if someone says they broke their back,
I don't know what else they would be referring to,
except for their spine?
I mean, maybe your shoulder blades?
I don't know what else there would be back there.
(laser zaps)
Boom, roasted. Nick one, Kels.
- Break your back and survive.
It literally happens all the time.
But you know, what's harder to survive?
A projectile going through your head.
(laughs)
So if you're in a crash,
now your very important head is sitting up here,
bouncing all around for parts of the plane to fly through?
It's definitely going to ruin your day.
Now let's talk about this thing
she says with the flight attendants.
- If this ever happens to you, hopefully it doesn't,
but if it does,
you'll see the flight attendants
take the position I told you.
- That's also wrong.
A lot of times attendant's backs
are facing the front of the plane.
If you've been on a plane-
- Yeah, whatever Kelsey, why would we trust a pilot,
okay, when you basically work for the government probably?
And this is TikTok where we don't trust anyone
except other TikTokers,
because we're forming a coalition of young teenagers
to stop the spread of pilot misinformation.
And teach people how to really survive plane crashes
so we can sue the airlines,
which are probably owned by the government.
(sci-fi music)
And then that way we'll start a revolution
to take down the patriarchy.
So Share and Like this video
to spread the truth about airlines.
- And a lot of times there's not places for them
to put their legs up in front of them.
And there'd be no reason for them to put their legs up
because their back is facing the forward part of the plane,
which means that would be where the impact would be.
It doesn't make any sense.
- The reason I love Kelsey is because he's educated.
He's a pilot.
He's been doing this for a long time
and he has the patience to sit there
and explain to these kids,
why they should stop spewing this bullshit on the internet.
Where if it was me, I would just be like,
(screen sizzles) shut up you dumb idiot!
"But Leon, they're just kids. They don't know... "
I don't give a fuck, man.
I'm tired of these kids thinking they can just run around
talking some dumb for clout online.
We gotta start disciplining our kids,
so they shut the fuck up.
- Now this point about being sued.
It's either gonna be you suing them
or your family suing them. It doesn't matter.
They're getting sued either way.
This is America. We love to sue people.
(laughs)
- Ah, yes. The land of the free. Home of the brave.
Country built upon litigation.
- I will personally sue your ass.
- Your fucking 19th separated cousin
could probably find a lawyer
that would help him sue an airline if you died.
- Listen to your trained cabin crew
who are trained in crashes that involve aircraft,
or your flight crew, that are giving you instructions.
Listen to them instead of TikTokers.
- I don't know, Kels.
Did my flight attendant get 25,000 likes on TikTok?
I doubt it. (laughs)
Fucking loser.
I'm gonna listen to the TikToker
when it comes to flight safety.
Here it is, baby.
Put the landing gear up, boys,
we're hitting the water. (voice shouts)
(plane explodes)
Okay, so Kelsey completely unraveled that girl's argument.
I appreciate his patience and his poise.
I've been doing this on the internet long enough,
I no longer have either of those
when it comes to these stupid kids on social media.
It can't possibly get worse than this girl,
but let's find out.
- Okay first, go back and watch her videos.
She is a hundred percent correct.
- [Video Character] Here we go again.
- Jesus Christ, I was dead wrong. Ahhh!
I think the only thing worse than these purveyors
of baseless misinformation are the echo chamber people
that are like, "Ooh yeah, right, she's dead right."
"Yeah, listen to her."
"This is why I also wants Likes an views."
- Okay first, go back and watch her videos.
She is a hundred percent correct.
And her advice is very good.
- Look at his face.
He's like, absolutely not bitch.
First of all,
take off this stupid fucking filter!
If you want someone to take you seriously,
get the fucking flashing hearts
off your goddamed fucking face!
(meteor explosion)
- Oh, boy. It's not even noon
and I'm up to 190 over 100 BP right now.
It might not, I might not make it the day.
This could end very ugly for me and my family.
Whoa, I'm a little dizzy.
(siren blares)
All right. I'm okay. I'm okay.
- Well to confirm that airline companies want you to die
whenever you get into a plane crash.
- Jesus, lord almighty.
- I used to work for an aerospace company
where we would make the airplane seats.
- Did you?
- And I can tell you right now
that every single seat on the airplane,
including first class and business class,
are made up of metal frames, tiny screws,
double-sided tape and Velcro and zip ties.
There is no actual sustainability to those seats.
(face bubble pops)
- [Bubbles] What the fuck, fuck.
- Bitch, what? (voice lowers)
What is this? What the fuck are you talking about?
- The inspections that we would have to go through
after seats were complete,
were for cosmetic looks only and functionality,
not for survival rates.
Those seats wouldn't even withstand a car crash;
a minor one.
(mic explodes)
- Great news!
Most pilots don't get into car accidents
while we're flying a plane. (laughs)
Been flying for many years,
have had zero close calls even with cars
while flying a plane. - Imagine.
- So that's great.
- All right, Kelsey's got a little bit of sass though.
He's good at that passive/aggressive,
shut the fuck up, idiot.
I'm a little more forward and impatient and loud.
- If that were to hit your car,
it would pretty much have zero impact on me
and would suck for you.
Yeah, okay.
So the seat is made out of metal and a zip ties
and a few other things.
What does she want the seats to be made out of?
- Adamantium, adamantium. Have you seen Wolverine?
I need my airplane seat
to be made out of indestructible steel.
That in the course of a crash,
will transform into a pod
that will safely protect me from any projectiles.
And anything other than that
means the airlines trying to kill me.
Can we for a second stop?
And just, the insanity that we're even able to fly.
We're talking about a multi-ton hunk of fucking metal
soaring through the air at six, 700 miles an hour,
carrying hundreds of people at a time!
Insane progress in the engineering of human flight.
And we have these fucking dumb nut TikTokers like,
"Airlines want you to die because they make their seats
out of metal and screws and Velcro."
(heart beats) Shut...
Honestly, I don't know who these two girls
are yet that we've seen,
but they're where your parents at?
Daddy pull the funding,
get 'em out of college, bring 'em home,
take their phone away for a month.
Do some, it's bad. It's bad out there.
Well, I didn't have watching a 747 pilot
react to fun pilot things as my new favorite YouTube channel
on my bingo card this year.
But here we are, this guy is adorable.
He's smooth. He's well-mannered.
Just everything that I am not. (chuckles)
I appreciate you watching me with 'em.
One thing I think we can glean from this video
is never listen to a TikToker.
And check out Kelsey here at 74 Gear, 'cause he's a legend.
If you need advice on how to survive a Leon Lush video,
well just tuck your head between your legs
as if you're getting ready to survive a crash landing.
Nuzzle up that nose right in your taint, little bit.
Give it (sniffs) a little sniff.
Then stand up out of your seat,
let your head get lopped off by a flying projectile
as the plane crashes.
Pull down your pants while there's still
a little bit of blood coursing through your body
and hip thrust that mother fucking Like button for me.
I would appreciate the hell out of it.
And if you subscribe, if your do, that would mean the world.
We'll see in the next video. Deuces.
♪ So give me the views ♪
♪ Views Views ♪
♪ The easy mother fucking views ♪
♪ Views ♪