- When we get stuck in a negative rut,
in a kind of what I call a negative loop,
it could be so hard to pull ourselves out of it.
So I'm sharing five ways for you
to overcome negative thoughts and negative feelings.
(inspirational music)
The fastest way to change negative thoughts and feelings is
change the words that run
those negative thoughts and feelings.
Imagine saying, "I'm depressed," or "I'm exhausted."
Change that.
"Well I'm a little stressed
"and I'm certainly a little tired,
"but tomorrow I'm bouncing back."
"I'm out of control.
"I'm just a big fat pig and I'm eating like a train wreck."
That's not even true.
Change the words, "I've decided to take action
"about what I eat, how I look, how I feel."
"I can't find love.
"There's no love." That's not true.
You are surrounded by people that could have
a loving relationship with you.
How about saying, "I magnetically attract love into my life.
"I'm warm, I'm loving, I'm lovable.
"I'm out in the world and wherever I am,
"I could be in the store,
"but I'm attracting the love of my life to me."
See, when you use powerful words,
they send a powerful instruction to your mind.
"I can't do it," "I can do it."
"I'm unlovable," "I'm super lovable."
"I'm not enough," "I'm so enough."
Look at your negative words,
flip them over and always say the positive.
The words you speak are a blueprint
that your mind and body work to make real.
"I ate too much, now I'm going to be fat."
"I ate a lot. I got a great metabolic rate.
"It will just burn that off."
"I didn't wash my hands
"and I'm probably going to get sick now."
"I have a fantastic immune system.
"It knows how to fight bugs and germs."
You have so much power to feel good.
If you just decide to use better words.
Listen to yourself.
Ask your friends, "Hey, what do I say all the time?"
"Well you say it's a disaster. It's a nightmare.
This is killing me. I'm so stressed."
We don't even notice the words we're saying
until we listen to us.
Like, "Oh my God, I can't believe
I speak to myself like that."
Somebody said to me, "You know, I heard you speak.
"And it was so amazing.
"I've had painful feet, my whole life.
"You know what I say every day?
"I just can't stand it.
"I can't stand it when my kids don't put the lids on jars.
"I can't stand it when my husband
"doesn't put his laundry in the laundry
"in the laundry basket.
"I can't stand it when people are late.
"And I stopped saying that.
"I have never had painful feet since."
'Cause that was her blueprint.
Every time she said she couldn't stand it,
she couldn't stand it.
Every time you say, "It's making me sick.
"I'm going to get sick. It's killing me.
"It's driving me crazy. It's making me insane.
"I can't stand it. I can't take it.
"It's too much. I'm so depressed.
"I'm so down." Stop it.
Flip that over. It's a challenge.
It's a situation. I am tired.
My kids are a challenge,
but they don't stay like that for very long.
And any way, if you have phenomenal coping skills,
you'll rise up to meet every challenge.
They'll still leave the lids off jars.
Your husband will still leave his pants on the floor,
but you know what?
It won't bother you.
Don't try to change them. Change your words.
I promise you it will change your life.
And so much of this can be explained
by simply clicking the link below
and joining my absolutely free 'I am Enough' masterclass
to understand how we get in these ruts
and how we can overcome them forever.
The second way to get out of a rut is to really understand
your primitive brain, your ancestral brain.
We have modern bodies, but we have primitive thinking.
And our primitive thinking is if you can't fight
and you can't flee, then you should just freeze.
And years ago, we'd see a lion
and we get into a complete panic.
We'd either stand completely still, or we'd run.
And today we look our inbox and go,
"Oh no, look at all this stuff."
And we can't fight it and we can't flee
and we freeze again.
We can't run away from a boss, a difficult client,
a child who's going through an issue.
So we freeze and say things like,
"Oh, I can't cope with this.
"It's the end of the world."
When you can't fight and you can't flee,
you can flow by saying, "This too will pass. Right now
"I'm ill," and by the way, never say, "I'm sick."
You're not sick. You have a minor illness.
"I'm ill, it will pass."
"I'm tired today.
"It will pass."
"I've had an argument with someone I love,
"but it will pass."
Everything will get back on track.
So remember you are wired, hardwired,
super wired to freeze when you can't fight
and you can't flee.
But that's from being on the prairie
and being around dangerous animals.
I mean if I stand completely still and do nothing
like a rabbit in the headlights, I'm safer.
But you're not supposed to freeze
when you look at your inbox,
when you look at your to-do list,
when you look at your house, your chores, your kids.
You're supposed to flow through it,
to do it a bit at a time, to chunk things down,
to say, "Hey, I can cope with all of this.
"I don't need to run away.
"I don't need to run.
"I can stay here and power through this
"'cause they have phenomenal coping skills."
So understand your wiring,
understanding your wiring
makes life so much easier.
Another way to get out of a rut
is to practise gratitude.
Gratitude is the highest frequency that you can resonate at
and whatever is going on in your life,
your partner's annoying you, your children are a challenge,
your job is a challenge, your situation's a challenge,
I want you to imagine what it would feel like
to know that someone in the world
looks at your life and says,
"That is my fantasy dream come true."
I would swap places with you.
You have a kid that keeps you up all night,
I'd give anything for that.
That you've got a husband or a wife that's messy or late
or forgets your birthday, I would love that.
You have to do a long commute,
change trains, sit on the freeway,
I would love to have a car and a job.
See your problem, when you see it
as someone else's fantasy dream come true
and you think what would you have given
10 years ago to have a home?
Yes, things go wrong.
You're a homeowner.
You've always got your hand in your pocket,
but you own a home.
Yes, you have a child that worries you,
but you have a child.
You have love in your life.
What would you have given 10 years ago, 20 years ago
for this problem?
I had a time when I had,
when I was working on American television
and English television simultaneously.
I commuted every two weeks, go to LA, come back.
My case was always packed.
I was like, "Oh my God, that's so awful."
I'm like, "Awful?
"Awful? It's amazing.
"I have got a job on two television shows,
"one in America, one in England."
I never saw it as awful.
I saw it as a gift, an opportunity, a great experience.
Plus, I knew it wouldn't last forever.
You see when something is permanent, it will get you.
I got to commute to LA every two weeks.
That would have been a challenge, but it wasn't permanent.
I knew it would have an ending.
It wasn't all the time in my life.
And whatever is stressing you, if it has an ending,
when your child grows up,
when your boss stops being difficult,
when you get out of the situation you're in,
then it has an ending and it won't bother you anymore.
The fourth way is to change the pictures in your head.
If you wake up full of doom and gloom,
"I know I'm going to be late.
"I know it's going to be a disaster.
"I know they won't have the thing in the store
"I'm going to get.
"I know I won't be able to get parked.
"I know it won't work out."
Why would you go anywhere knowing it won't work?
Change the pictures.
"They'll have exactly what I want in exactly my size.
"This is going to work out perfectly.
"Everything is working out perfectly."
Make better pictures.
If you go to the gym, for instance,
make a picture of your body, loving working out.
If your picture is, "Well, you know,
"life's so hard and life's so difficult."
Change that picture.
Wake up in the morning and every day is a great day.
There is always something to make my day great.
If you have somewhere to live,
something to do, someone to love
and enough to eat you're already
in a very, very fortunate place.
So make better pictures.
Be grateful for where you are and finally,
be kind to yourself.
One of the major causes of depression
is not a chemical imbalance in your brain at all.
It is harsh, hurtful, critical words that you
say to you on a daily basis.
Please don't do that. Stop that now.
If I could prove to you that your harsh, hurtful words
cause you to be depressed and anxious and get in a rut,
then surely you would stop them.
If you spoke to a friend, the way you spoke to yourself,
"Oh, look at the state of me.
"I'm such a mess.
"I'm such an idiot. I'm such a loser.
"It all goes wrong. Everything I touch, I mess up.
"I just can't get this right. I'm dead wood.
"I got rocks for brains. I'm so stupid.
"I'm an idiot."
If you spoke to your friend, the way you speak to yourself,
they would be long gone.
Be a friend to yourself, practise kindness.
Be nice, "Yeah.
"I messed something up today, but it's okay.
"Tomorrow I would do better.
"I learned something.
"I learned not to rush, to leave myself
"more time to practise, to be prepared."
"Today, I ate complete garbage because I was busy
"and I was at work and tomorrow I know
"to take with me a can of tuna fish, a bag of nuts,
"a juice, a shake, even a powder shake
"that I can make up in my office
"'cause I learned something today.
"When I don't have the right food, I just eat candy bars.
"Tomorrow, I'll do better."
So be kind, be nice.
"Today, I was so stressed 'cause I didn't have enough time
"and I was in a panic and I was rushing.
"Everything was going wrong.
"Tomorrow, I'll get up earlier. I'll prepare."
You can only learn by your mistakes so use these five tips,
these five techniques.
Be kind to yourself, practise gratitude,
put new pictures in your mind,
use new words and remember, when you can't fight
and you can't flee, you can flow.
You will always have another day to do better, feel better.
Life is amazing. Life is a gift.
It's a wonderful world. Sing yourself a better song.
It's a wonderful world and here you are in it.
And if you use those five things,
your life will be infinitely better,
not just sometimes, but all the time.