(Mariah Carey) Okay, class
Now, what do we do if we can't hit the note in the
middle of a concert with 10,000 people?
What kind of singer can't hit the note?
Oh, dear. (laughs)
Yo, fatty. Don't talk about my wifey like that.
I am not your wifey, Kit Kat.
It's Eminem.
Whatever.
Hey, I love your uniform! How do I join the cheer squad?
So, like, out of nowhere, this loser ginger bitch thought
she could, like, talk to me.
I don't know, talk to the dance coach, Madonna. Fucking
freshmen, ew.
Why are you even in this class? You can't sing.
I'm so fucking heated right now. Literally this Ariana
nacho chick started dissing me.
Mrs. Carey, please send this girl to the principal's office.
She's bothering my sister.
Ariana, would you like to demonstrate my new song,
"Obsessed"? Released on iTunes this morning for 1.99,
darling.
Why you so obsessed with me?
Boy I want to know,
It's clear that you're upset with me.
Ohh, finally found a girl that you couldn't impress
Last man on earth, still couldn't
Ooh, celebrities are really cruel
What if they were inside a school?
Wouldn't that be so cool?
Yeah, yeah
If you want to hang with the pop queens, then
just forget it, yeah
They're too popular
I recorded my new song, but I didn't know what was gonna
happen to me for talking back to Mrs. Carey.
Secretary Oprah, handle these naughty students for me.
I gotta go to the restroom and
beat it, beat it!
You get detention! (x3)
Everybody gets detention!
The school cafeteria was a breeding ground for drama.
So, what are we?
Huh?
Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?
Um, yeah, sure.
Oh, my god. I'm going to make a t-shirt that says,
"Alex Russo" and
(unintelligible)
(gasp)
Are you staring at Kylie's butt?
Kim, I know you guys are dating and all, but does he
have to sit with us?
Shut up, Amber hoe. I still have a thousand more
showers to take after dating you.
Ugh, look at those gross Nickelodeon sluts.
Those Disney bitches are so stuck up.
(gasp) I'm having a vision.
And it's me knocking y'all's teeth out!
Your new movie's trash! Especially that Lizzie McGuire crap!
Oh, what did I do?
iCarly? More like, iFarty!
(growls)
Yellow sponge lickers!
Yo, Hannah, your show sucks.
Drake! Murder my vagina!
Hi, Drake.
'Sup, ladies.
(unintelligible)
Congrats, Miss Gaga! Our song, "Telephone", just went triple platinum!
For real, Queen Bee? Yes!
What about that stupid "Video Phone" song?
Oh, um, we just gonna forget that ever happened, okay?
Gaga was the only pop queen Beyoncé liked.
the rest of us, she didn't care about.
You is totally gonna win best female video, Gaga.
What about me? I submitted my Hot N Cold video.
Shut up, Katy, this isn't about you.
Like, I know I'm gonna win because I'm the prettiest,
most popular pop star on the planet right now, and
noone's getting in my way.
Mm, baby, don't get your hopes up too high.
Whatchu gonna do if you lose?
(laughs)
If I ever lost, I'd like, start making a shitty rock album
and dress up like a man.
[Music]
So, tanning bed, think you got a shot at winning a VMA?
No, I haven't heard my song on the radio once.
I made my twitter last week, and I only got two followers.
The pop queens have millions.
Who's following you?
You, Selena Gomez, Taylor Lautner, and that creepy janitor.
(bell ringing)
Ugh, time to go back on set.
I don't want to work for Dickelodeon anymore.
Omg, kill me now, Sonny with a Chance is shit.
Come on, you lazy, semi-talented teen sensations.
Get your sexy asses in here.
I wanna see sweat, tears, and bad acting.
I don't know why, but Hannah feels like twerking on her
daddy this episode
Mr. Cannon, do I have to work?
The Amanda Bynes show is a decade old.
Sorry, Amanda, my wife's making me run this crappy network.
Let's move it, bitches! Especially you, redhead.
Ugghh! I'm way too talented for that Sam and Cat bullshit!