2017 is done, so let's rank some movies!
From the funny and dramatic to the scary and gloomy.
Horror stories kept me on edge, I have to confess - while lesser-known movies really
impressed.
It seemed like some actors just wanted their checks; not even Daddario could save these
wrecks.
We enjoyed Babysitter and Baby Driver; but it's no surprise which films were box office
survivors.
Big-budget action movies were fun to review; especially Keanu in John Wick: Chapter Two.
Wasting time on these duds was regrettable; especially since they were just plain forgettable.
From galaxy Guardians to the Justice League; I wouldn't blame anyone for having superhero
fatigue.
A few sequels deserved their disappointing fate; while eighth installments turned out
to be great.
These attractive people may need to regroup, as every single one was stuck in a time loop.
Animals and apes once again made their mark; but it was family animation that gave us a
spark.
Award-contenders also made a splash; even if I winched when limbs got smashed.
It's no wonder why these characters were thrilled, after long last their dreams were fulfilled.
Whether you hated "Dunkirk" or defended "Bright" - it's time to review, because this is Movie
Night!
Hello, and welcome to Movie Night, I'm your host Jonathan Paula.
Tonight in my fourth annual cinematic retrospective, we're changing things up!
In this big episode dedicated to the movies of 2017: I'll be awarding superlatives, ranking
the worst films and highlighting my fifteen favorites.
But let's start with something I wish my fellow reviewers did; actually list the films they
did, and didn't see - by sharing my "year in review" page courtesy Letterboxd.com.
Thanks to a sustained and disciplined effort, I saw 506 total movies in 2017; which bested
my previous record by nearly 150 films!
Of the 396 that I saw for the first time, an even 100 were new releases, and are eligible
for tonight's list.
Plus, I squeezed in another ten 2017-films in the past week as last-minute preparation
for this retrospective; which was a good call as a several actually snuck into various lists.
If you'd like dive deeper into my film-watching analytics, read over 200 of my un-filmed reviews,
or browse a catalog of every movie I've ever seen, please head over to my profile a Letterboxd.com/JonPaula.
Now that all that housekeeping is out of the way, let's begin with the superlatives section,
and my first award - the funniest movie of 2017.
Now, I'd like to pick one of Dave Chappelle's comedy specials for this category - since
he did release four of them last year, and they were all fantastic; but if we're sticking
with proper movies?
My vote for funniest film of the year goes to "The LEGO Batman" movie.
Another amusing family-friend adventure that perfectly satirizes the comic book genre with
some excellent references to the Batman franchise.
Will Arnett kept me laughing the entire time.
The symbolic and artistic "mother!"
was also definitely the weirdest film of 2017.
Despite the claustrophobic camerawork and increasingly disturbing narrative, it was
the phenomenal acting that helped keep this confusing parable somewhat watchable.
Patient viewers with religious backgrounds will likely appreciate this the most - but
outside of its cinematic accomplishments, I can't say I enjoyed it.
Excluding the horror movies that we'll talk about a bit later, "Gerald's Game" gets my
pick for scariest of the year.
Not in the jump-scare, monster-gore kind of way; but in the ever-present-fear way.
Adapted from a Stephen King story, the single-room narrative is literally anchored by a astonishingly
raw performance from the gorgeous Carla Gugino.
Handcuffed to a bed with no possible rescue or escape possible; her growing psychological
dread is what makes this Mike Flanagan film a real winner.
The most surprising film however has to be "Girls Trip".
Now, this may shock you; but I am not the target demographic for this female-focused,
African American road-trip comedy... but I'll be damned if I didn't enjoy the hell out of
it.
With some great messages concerning friendship and personal identity, it was a breakout role
from Tiffany Haddish glued everything together; and kept me pleasantly entertained throughout.
Now, to be fair; I really enjoyed "Logan" - but in the larger scope of superhero films;
this "serious and gritty" treatment didn't impress me as much as it seemed to for everyone
else.
Hugh Jackman was fantastic, as always - but having his swan song focus on a new mutant
child wasn't a direction I particularly enjoyed.
A solid send-off for some fan-favorite characters, this sadly wasn't close to the franchise's
best.
I thought it was somewhat overrated.
On the flip side of the coin, I found "King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword" to be vastly
underrated.
Far too many dismissed this as a lame swords-and-shields film, but Guy Ritchie's kinetic and modern
approach really worked for me.
The quintessential period-piece popcorn flick, this is a whiz-bang adventure with time-tested
characters; and worth giving a second look.
Although Hans Zimmer's intense score for "Dunkirk" challenged audiences with its aggressiveness,
its the music from "The Shape Of Water" that was the best of the year.
Alexandre Desplat expertly blends accordions, woodwinds, and flutes; for a whimsical and
romantic sound.
Resembling the best bits from "Up" and "Super Mario Galaxy", this was the perfect backdrop
to Guillermo del Toro's beautiful and unique sci-fi romance.
Adapting a hugely popular brand with super attractive leads should have been an easy
win for director Seth Gordon.
But "Baywatch" strays far too much from its iconic premise; spending more time examining
a dead man's ball sack than boob-bouncing lifeguarding.
With so much wasted potential this washed-up and unfunny bore is a disservice to its namesake,
and the most disappointing film of 2017.
Combining familiar trends in recent action films, director Joe Lynch once again impresses
with a gory shlockfest in "Mayhem".
The contained environment and high-concept plot allow for truly satisfying, hyperactive
violence; led by charismatic performers.
Since this was a VOD-release late in the year, it seems many haven't discovered it yet.
Which is why I'm naming this super fun, "shut-your-brain-off" experience as the most overlooked film.
Besides that hyperspace kamikaze move in "The Last Jedi", my vote for best moment of the
year goes to the funeral scene at the end of "Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2".
The poignant folk-rock sounds of Cat Stevens helped deliver this goofy comic book franchise
to heretofore unseen emotional depths.
It's a beautiful, tear-jerking coda that illustrates just how special these characters have become.
Now let's pivot to section two of tonight's special episode, and discuss my ten least
favorite movies of 2017.
Despite its (somewhat earned) reputation, this sci-fi / comedy film isn't entirely terrible.
Sure, it's boring, unfocused, and trite as hell... but never offensively so.
Young kids might actually find some enjoyment here, and I'm embarrassed to admit it actually
elicited a few chuckles out of me as well.
Ignoring opportunities to provide commentary on its admirable theme, the movie opts for
clumsy poop gags instead.
Hardly this year's most awful release, "The Emoji Movie" is simply a forgettable, and
LAME experience.
It gets my pick for tenth worst of the year.
("Unforgettable") It isn't.
(nine)
I mean, at this point - it's my own fault for expecting anything in the impossibly-virile
"Sharknado" franchise to be competently constructed...
but I did.
And once again, I was shocked at how ridiculous this movie was is.
You can't just create a "so bad it's good" movie intentionally - something SyFy still
hasn't figured out yet.
And all of the shark-teleporting-D-list celebrity cameos aren't going to fix that, either.
"Global Swarming" is a LAME movie, and the eighth worst of the year.
The sexy-fetish movie for lonely virgins who have never seen a naked body before.
"Fifty Shades Darker" lowers the bar even more than its tepid and badly-acted predecessor.
DJ and JD can't maintain even the barest level of interest in the script, let alone their
on-screen chemistry.
Poor dialogue, ridiculous plot-developments, and boring eroticism land this film at number
seven.
"Altitude" mishandles its cast of Hollywood has-beens by having them play against type
in uninteresting ways.
The sets, acting, and visual effects are only marginally better than a feature-length porno.
It should be easy to manufacture tension with a high-altitude high-jacking, but the passengers
react to the deadly takeover like they're ignoring a metro announcement.
With lackluster thrills and tired developments, this predictably bad direct-to-video film
is the sixth worst of 2017.
With four of the best boobs in the business, "The Layover" should have been a "lay-up".
Instead of getting a raunchy and sexy rom-com, I suffered through a juvenile road-trip that
wasted my time with disgusting toilet-humor and loathsome characters.
And why does Alexandra Daddario leave her clothes on during sex?
Director William H. Macy went out of his way to screw this up.
This blue-balling experience is the fifth worst film of the year.
This sci-fi drama attempts to portend the ubiquity of social media exposure; but is
twenty years too late.
The wholly unbelievable story feels like a rejected 1990s spec-script on the dangers
of 21st century technology.
Like, "Oh no!
Have you heard of this, 'The Internet?'
- what if people use it to share private aspects of their lives?"
Not even the super-likable Emma Watson and Tom Hanks can save this from mediocrity.
"The Circle" places fourth.
"The Snowman" is needlessly vague, long-winded, and a chore to sit through.
Michael Fassbender, and the rest of the (usually capable) actors seem either half-cocked or
half-asleep.
Seemingly disinterested in its own subject-matter, this crime-procedural only succeeds in leaving
audiences confused or irritated.
Entire plot threads are abandoned, the twists are unearned, and the dialogue is stiffer
than a breeze coming off a Norwegian fjord.
Intentionally obtuse under the pretense of being "artistic", the third worst film is
nothing more than indecipherable trash.
The silver medal of shit goes to a picture you hopefully haven't heard of; "Singularity".
This cheaply-made dystopian action film isn't just astonishingly derivative, it's also offensively
bland.
But it does earn John Cusack the unfortunate distinction of appearing near the bottom of
my list for the second year in a row!
He's literally in his own movie here!
And I don't mean figuratively!
His single-set scenes were reportedly filmed four years after principle photography wrapped,
which is obvious since he never interacts directly with the main characters.
If the concept, themes, and ideas weren't trite as Hell... there might actually be some
entertainment value here.
Sadly, it's just another GARBAGE-bin disappointment with Cusack on the cover.
But the absolute worst movie is...
"The Institute"! Wasting a perfectly good premise and a decently macabre setting (an
insane asylum at the turn of the 20th century) - this horror/thriller is nothing but a rote
affair with emotionless characters and hackneyed developments.
I swear James Franco directed, produced, and stared in this picture on a mustache-wearing
dare, because the film (and his entire performance) is nothing but a joyless exercise.
The drawn-out drama feels like a watered-down "Eyes Wide Shut" - if it were performed by
freshman theater students high on anti-depressants.
Poorly lit, badly acted, and dreadfully unengaging, "The Institute" is easily the worst film released
in 2017.
Enough negativity though!
For the final portion of the show, I'm ranking my favorite films of last year.
Let's begin by highlighting the five movies that didn't quite make my top-ten.
In no particular order, these honorable mentions are; "The Babysitter": a fun and flashy send-up
of 80s slashers with endearing characters; "Baby Driver" illustrated how a top-notch
soundtrack can transform a traditional heist-film into edge-of-your-seat entertainment; "Kong:
Skull Island" re-adapted the Hollywood classic by mixing gorgeous cinematography and harrowing
action with thrilling results; "Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 2."
may be Marvel's most emotionally-effective movie yet; and Gal Gadot rocked the box office
with her fierce and beautiful portrayal as "Wonder Woman" - the best entry in the DCEU
by a country mile.
And now, without further ado, the best movies of 2017.
"Brawl In Cell Block 99" wasn't just criminally overlooked last year, it was also a gritty
and gory prison-thriller that completely surprised me.
Told with an quiet, and understated style, the crime-drama is anchored by a career-best
performance from a nearly unrecognizable Vince Vaughn.
Filled with twists, turns and plenty of violence, this tragic and powerful movie lands in my
tenth spot.
Part coming-of-age drama, part nightmare fuel, the second film adaptation of Stephen King's
"It" is as relatable as it is frightening.
The richly inventive story; about an unexplained force that preys on children's fears as physical
manifestations -makes for some positively creepy moments; all aided by a sterling cast
of talented youngsters.
Playing out like an R-rated "Stranger Things" - this was my ninth favorite film of the year.
When it comes to animation, this is Pixar's world and we're all just living in it.
"Coco" isn't just a vibrant and respectful celebration of Mexican culture, it's also
a wondrously unique and colorful adventure that all ages will enjoy.
A fast-moving story that re-affirms the importance of family and following your dreams - it's
hard to leave this film without an optimistic smile on your face.
I'm ranking it eighth.
My seventh favorite movie of the year happens to be the ninth in its impossibly long-running
franchise about talking animals; "War For The Planet Of The Apes".
From the astonishingly exciting battle sequences, to the flawless visual effects, it's the incredible
performances from Andy Serkis and Woody Harrelson that put this picture over the top.
A triumphant conclusion to the 21st-century reboot trilogy.
Nolan has done it again.
Despite a lack of historical depth or character development, "Dunkirk" is a powerful and relentless
experience that proves practical filmmaking is far from dead.
From the visceral sound-mix of beachside gunfire to the realistic aerial dog-fights, this is
a monument achievement in blockbuster filmmaking, and the sixth best film of 2017.
"John Wick: Chapter Two" isn't just a sizable improvement over its tightly-crafted predecessor,
it's also the best pure-action film of the decade.
A furious blend of expertly choreographed neo-noir gunplay with intriguing world-building.
Oozing with beautiful style and impressive stunt-work, my fifth favorite film is astonishingly
fun, too.
At number four is "Star Wars: The Last Jedi".
While many fanboys were overly critical of the latest installment in the epic space fantasy
series, I absolutely adored the direction and risks this picture took.
Funny, introspective, and even awe-inspiring - not even a few plot holes or an extraneous
side-quest deterred my feverish enjoyment.
A complex, beautifully filmed, and satisfying adventure - this is an amazing film.
Hugh Jackman anchors the excitement in my bronze medal winner.
The directorial debut from Michael Gracey is a dazzling onslaught of old-fashioned cinema;
and a clear affront to stale, historical bio-pics.
With beautiful music, defiant anthems, and colorful set-pieces, this is the type of big,
fun, and lavish Hollywood musical we haven't seen since "Chicago".
Serving as a powerful tribute and a bittersweet memorial to a bygone era, "The Greatest Showman"
is feel-good, happiness-affirming cinema at its purest.
I thought it was AMAZING.
My runner-up is "Get Out".
This fantastically inventive and proactive psychological horror film from first-time
director Jordan Peele challenged my perceptions of what a horror film was capable of.
A unique experience with truly unexpected twists - it's the perfectly nuanced performances,
invocative commentary, and visceral scares that really elevate this thriller to captivating
heights.
And finally the number one movie is...
"The Disaster Artist".
When paying tribute to bad cinema, only a like-minded auteur could truly capture the
chaotic brilliance of this plot.
But since director James Franco was also responsible the worst movie of 2017; he understood how
to outdo himself to create the best movie of 2017.
Uproariously funny from start to finish, it's the earned moments of poignancy about creativity
and aspiration that push this film over the top.
An unbelievable true story about the pitfalls and possibility of unrestrained ambition,
"The Disaster Artist" is an inspiring, hilarious, and heartfelt biopic.
An absolute must-watch for all filmmakers and artists - this was my favorite movie of
the entire year.
2017 really was an excellent year for cinema, at least personally.
My average rating of 6.58 is the highest mark for any year since the 1980s.
Last time I ranked my favorites, I didn't feature a single "amazing" movie... but tonight
I was pleased to share six of them.
That will conclude my annual cinematic retrospective - I hope you enjoyed listening to all of my
selections.
In the next episode, for no reason at all, I'll be reviewing the "The Matrix" trilogy,
so leave your reviews as comments to be featured on the show.
In the meantime, if you'd like to watch or read my full-reviews for any of tonight's
films, you can find direct-links to in the description below.
Or, you can click the icons on screen to check out more of my content.
My name is Jonathan, thanks for watching, and have a good Movie Night!