[MUSIC]
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Juan!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Maria?
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I love you so much mi amor.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: So? We can't be together.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: What do you mean?
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Literally nobody wants us to be together.
>> BOYS: No. No we no likey. No.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I don't care. Let's run away together!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Run away? I got Bachelorette at 8 o'clock.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Tomorrow's even worse. It's Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
I gotta see that episode.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I don't care!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: You gotta calm down.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Remember the first time when we met.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: No.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: White dress?
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: You're always some wearing some [BLEEP], I don't remember.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Think!
[MUSIC]
[GUYS TALKING]
[MUSIC]
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Hola.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: What's up mamí?
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Oh. [MARIA SANCHEZ SCREAMING]
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: And from that moment on, I knew that you were one. And I knew that...
[JUAN DIEGO JR. III LAUGHING]
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I'm sorry, okay. What? You love me? What else? Sorry.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Do you even love me?
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Of course I love you. Calm down.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: You never take me out!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I took you to Starbucks this morning.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: That wasn't me!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: It wasn't? All you Latina's look alike, come on, I'm sorry.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Like Camilla?
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Okay, one time.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Isabella? Valentina? Anna?
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Oh, I think I saw Anna last night, actually.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: What about Paula?
[MUSIC]
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I really love your sister. Maria, is the love of my life.
>> PAOLA CERNY: Shut up.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Paola!
>> PAOLA CERNY: Maria!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Juan.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: How can you do this to me Juan?
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: It's not what it looks like, it's not, I mean she's pretty hot. She's disgusting. I don't even like her.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: You're cheating on me with my sister!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Nothing even happened!
I mean I'm down if you're down.
Low key if you're down. I'm down.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: It's me or her!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: What are you talking about? You of course, I love you.
[SLAP SOUND]
Ah, okay, you [BLEEP].
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: What? [SLAP SOUND]
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Ow, okay I choose me! [BLEEP].
>> PAOLA CERNY: Or does he?
[MUSIC]
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: ¡Desgracia!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: OH!
[MUSIC]
>> PAOLA CERNY: [BLEEP]!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: OH!
[MARIA & PAOLA SCREAMING]
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Get her.
[MARIA & PAOLA SCREAMING]
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Oh. I remember that now.
She's so...
smart.
Come on don't be mad. Just come on, look at me. I love you.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: You love me?
You see that we're meant to be.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Okay, whatever.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Let's say one word and I promise we'll think of the same one.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Okay, right now?
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Ready?
>> MARIA SANCHEZ & JUAN DIEGO JR. III: One. Two. Three.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Love. >> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Jennifer Lopez...love.
Love.
[SLAP SOUND]
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Jennifer Lopez?
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: No, no no. Love.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Okay besides all these Latina [BLEEP] the only person that's against us is my father.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: What do you mean? Your dad loves me.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: My dad hates you!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Are you sure?
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Look.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Papí, can I be with him?
>> MARIA'S FATHER: Of course.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: No! Papí.
>> MARIA'S FATHER: But little girl, I'm telling you to freaking be with him!
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Yeah, but I love him!
>> MARIA'S FATHER: I like him too! He has money.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Why are you trying to separate us? >> MARIA'S FATHER: I'm not trying.
>> MARIA'S FATHER: I don't want to separate you!
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Please don't do this to me! Please. I'm gonna run away!
>> MARIA'S FATHER: You run away with him!
Gloria! Bring the holy water!
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Please!
>> MARIA'S FATHER: What the [BLEEP]?
[MARIA SANCHEZ SCREAMING] >> MARIA'S FATHER: Gloria! Be with him!
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: You see? I told you.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: You act like I'm the only crazy one.
What about that crazy guy who was always in love with you?
>> CARLOS GONZALES: Who? Me?
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Holy [BLEEP]
What are you a [BLEEP] ninja turtle?
Are you flexing and pointing the gun at her at the same time?
>> CARLOS GONZALES: Yeah bro. Always.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Then why is there an orange thing on that gun?
You know how many YouTube comments that you're gonna get saying that's fake.
>> CARLOS GONZALES: If I can't be with her, nobody can!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Don't point the gun at her. You're freaking me out.
Woah. Put it back on her. [BLEEP].
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Hey, hey hey. You love me.
>> CARLOS GONZALES: I love her.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Okay, bros before hoes, come on.
>> CARLOS GONZALES: That's true. >> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Bro. Come on.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I know your mother.
>> CARLOS GONZALES: That's true, she does.
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I, I know your mom too, but I probably [BLEEPED] your mom.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: What?!
[GUN SHOT]
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: No! >> CARLOS GONZALES: Lele!
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Juan!
I'm sorry!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I'm not gonna die, it's just a little thing.
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I have to tell you something!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: What?
>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I'm pregnant!
No!
>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Can you stop yelling [BLEEP]?
[EXIT MUSIC]