The Marvel Cinematic Universe films are awesome, but their stories/timelines are kinda all
over the place.
So, today I’m taking a look at the MCU, or the Avengers movies in chronological order.
Oh, and also, in case it wasn’t obvious, spoiler alert for the MCU movies.
Now, let’s begin.
So, around 3000 BC, these evil beings called the Dark Elves attack Svart, Svartal, this
place, trying to conquer the Nine Realms.
But they are stopped by the Asgardians.
Also, Odin traps the Aether, a mythical substance, deep down where no one can find it.
Um, hopefully.
Then, in 965 AD, Odin and the Asgardians fight off the evil frost giants, who are trying
to take over Midgard aka where you are right now.
The Frost Giants are defeated, Odin adopts an abandoned baby frost giant called Loki,
a peace treaty is made, and the Casket of Ancient Winters, which is what Frost Giants
get their power from, is hidden away by Odin where no one can find it.
Um, hopefully.
Then, in around 1400, Odin hides this cube of immense power called the Tesseract in Norway,
where no one can find.
Um, hopefully.
Ok, bottom line, Odin sucks at hiding things.
A little bit later, in 1918, Steve Rogers is born on the 4th of July.
Just when you thought he couldn’t be more patriotic.
12 years later in 1930 Dr. Erskine starts his research on the super-soldier serum.
Also, in this same year, Steve Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes meet, and they become
best buds.
Hopefully that won’t ever change!
Ok, so now we get to the historic stuff, like World War II breaking out, and in 1940, a
Nazi called Johann Schmidt becomes the Red Skull by injecting himself with a version
of Dr. Erskine’s serum.
Around Christmas of 1941, Steve Rogers tries to enter the U.S. military to fight in the
war, but is REJECTED.
One year later, Schmidt discovers the Tesseract.
Thanks Odin!
However, one year after that, Dr. Erskine lets Rogers into the army to see if he has
the potential for something big.
And he does.
So in June of 1943, Steve Rogers gets a bunch of drugs pumped into him and gets even more
patriotic.
Yep, Captain America!
For the next few years, Cap fights in WWII with his Howling Commandos, but loses Bucky
along the way.
Cap then defeats Red Skull in 1945, who was now trying to destroy, well, a lot of stuff
using the Tesseract.
Cap goes down into the ice, and so does the Tesseract.
A bit later, Howard Stark finds the Tesseract while looking for Rogers.
Speaking of Stark, in 1964, his Stark World Expo is held.
Yay.
Bruce Banner is born in 1969, and Tony Stark is born two years later in ‘71.
Then, in 1988, after his mom dies, a kid called Peter Quill is abducted by a blue guy called
Yondu and his space pirates, who want to eat him, but don’t.
NoW, Tony Stark’s parents die in a car crash in 1991, so Tony inherits the company and
starts running it by the next year.
On New Year’s Eve in 1999, Tony Stark is in Bern, Switzerland, where he forgets to
meet some weird-o called Aldrich Killian.
Whatever.
He was a just a nerd, he won’t do anything!
Anyway, in 2006, the now-scientist Bruce Banner takes part in a gamma experiment, which fails.
This results in every time his pulse goes really fast, he turns into the enormous green
rage monster known as *the incredible hulk* A few years later, now-billionaire Tony Stark
is captured by the Terrorist group the Ten Rings after showing off his newest missiles.
He escapes using a weaponized suit of armor that is powered by this blue thingy in his
chest called an arc reactor, and, after seeing the damage his weapons do, he decides to turn
that suit of armor into: Iron Man.
After a lot of building and upgrading and such, he has a suit of armor that can fly,
use repulsor blasts, and of course, has a *Tank Missile*
Stark then defeats this evil bald guy called Evil Business Man aka Iron Monger.
After that, Stark continues to upgrade his suits and his artificial intelligence JARVIS,
and just keeps being Iron Man.
While this was happening, Aldrich Killian, yeah, that nerd, well he has started experimenting
on people with EXTREMIS, which is really complicated and confusing, but basically heals people’s
disabilities and gives them fire-powers.
Also, after announcing to the world he is Iron Man, Tony is confronted by some weird
guy called Nick Fury.
Huh.
Anyway, Bruce Banner has been doing a good job of hiding from the government, who kind
of want his guts, until he cuts his hand.
Some of his super-hulk blood gets into a bottle of soda, which ends up killing a poor old
gentlemen.
The government find out where the bottle was from, track down Banner, and the manhunt begins!
Well, more like Hulk-hunt.
Tony Stark then continues to do Tony Stark things, like opening up the Stark Expo 2010,
appearing before the Senate, and promoting his girlfriend.
He also meets a mysterious person called Natalie Rushman.
Hmmm.
Anyway, to sum up this next part: Iron Man 2.
This Russian called Ivan Vanko attacks Stark at the Monaco Grand Prix, Stark discovers
a new element, and defeats Vanko aka Whiplash.
While this was happening, Thor, who is the actual son of Odin, is coronated, although
the ceremony is interrupted by someone stealing that Casket of Ancient Winters, Thanks, Odin!
Thor sees this as an act of war and goes to attack the Ice Giants.
Due to his insolence, Thor is banished to Earth by Odin, because, well, peace treaty.
Also, the people of New Mexico find Thor’s hammer.
Also, Loki discovers that he is actually not Odin’s son, he is a Frost Giant.
So, he gets really upset.
Also, during this, Thor breaks into the SHIELD place where his hammer is being kept, and
is captured by SHIELD.
Loki comes to visit him in this time.
Thor gets out from the SHIELD place and bonds with an earthling called Jane Foster.
Speed round: Bruce Banner is attacked by the US military and Hulks out.
Loki sends the Destroyer to attack Thor and the people of New Mexico, put Thor, proving
that he is worthy, stops it and destroys the Destroyer.
Thor goes back to Asgard, faces Loki, and destroys the Bifrost, aka the Rainbow Road
that leads to Earth.
Loki falls into the abyss of nothingness but is brought back Thanos/The Other/The Chitauri.
Meanwhile, this guy called Emil Blonsky who’s been after Hulk for a while gets a dose of
super juice and becomes this abomination.
Seriously, his name is Abomination.
He and Hulk duke it out in Harlem in the coolest scene from that movie.
Hulk wins, and goes off to live in Bella Coola.
Sometime after this, Tony Stark meets with General Ross, a guy who was also hunting Hulk
for a while, and talks to him about the Avengers.
At some point between this time and the Avengers, Banner goes from Bella Coola to India, where
he works as a doctor and gets substantial plastic surgery and gains a bit of weight.
I’m kidding, that last part isn’t true.
Then, in 2011, they finally find Steve Rogers in the ice.
He wakes up and immediately, starts punching things.
He is approached by Nick Fury about the Avengers.
So anyway, the Tesseract is controlled by SHIELD, but Loki, who had enough time to plot
his revenge, activates it from a somewhere in another area of space.
He comes through a portal created by it and takes control of SHIELD agents like Hawkeye
and scientists like Erik Selvig.
He then steals the Tesseract and runs away.
This causes Nick Fury to frantically assemble all the Avengers, starting with Natalie Rushman,
whose real name is actually Natasha Romanoff, whose other name is Black Widow, goes and
gets Banner from India, Phil Coulson, an Agent of Shield, goes to get Tony Stark, and Fury
himself, goes to the gym to get Captain America.
The Avengers, minus Thor, now come together on the Helicarrier to find Loki.
Loki appears in Germany and is stopped by Iron Man and Captain Amer-well, not really.
Thor comes down and picks a fight with Iron Man and Cap, but eventually agrees to help
them.
Loki is taken captive on the Helicarrier, but escapes after firing up all the Avengers.
The Avengers discover SHIELD wanted to use the Tesseract to make weapons of mass destruction.
Then, Hawkeye and his evil friends attack the Helicarrier, and basically, Loki escapes,
Hulk is thrown to ground, and Thor is also thrown to the ground.
However, they all assemble once again to stop Loki and his evil Chitauri army.
Iron Man almost dies but doesn’t, and they all eat Shawarma.
The Avengers then desemble, with all them going their separate ways, mainly Thor and
Loki going to Asgard.
The Bifrost is repaired, and Jane Foster finds the Aether.
Thanks Odin!
The Dark Elves are re-awoken from their slumber, and Malekith, the biggest Dark Elf, attacks
Asgard with his buddies.
Basically, in the end, Malekith takes the Aether but is defeated by Thor.
Thor then declines the throne, but it turns out he wasn’t talking to his dad, he was
talking to Loki!
Gasp!
The Aether is then given to this weirdo called the Collector who collects things like things
of immense power, Dark Elves, and mutated ducks.
The Collector contacts an alien servant of Thanos called Gamora to get a powerful little
ball for him.
Meanwhile: Aldrich Killian is back, and he’s doing
bad things.
He comes to Pepper Potts with his ideas and is once again rejected.
Also, this terrorist called the Mandarin is being...well...a terrorist.
So, Happy Hogan, Iron Man’s chief of security/bodyguard is attacked by EXTREMIS soldiers of the Mandarin,
and Tony then gives his address to the terrorist.
Why you would do that is beyond me.
So, his house is attacked and Tony flies off.
In the end, Tony finds out the Mandarin is just an actor called Trevor Slattery, and
Aldrich Killian is actually the Mandarin.
Tony defeats Killian and all of his EXTREMIS buddies, and
then has the operation that removes his arc reactor and the shrapnel in his chest.
By the way, the reason he had the arc reactor in the first place was to stop the shrapnel
from killing him.
Now, Captain America works for SHIELD, but he doesn’t agree with some of things SHIELD
is doing.
Also, an assassin appears called the Winter Soldier who goes to kill Nick Fury.
Turns out the Winter Soldier is his buddy Bucky, who got brainwashed.
Also, Cap then finds out that SHIELD has been taken over by HYDRA, which was the Nazi division
led by the Red Skull he fought back in the day.
He manages to stop HYDRA, and SHIELD is shut down I guess.
However, Cap doesn’t kill the Winter Soldier, because, well, in his words: *I’m with you
till the end of the line* Cap then falls but is saved by Bucky.
Bucky is later seen going to a museum and finding out who he truly is.
Cap and his new best buddy Sam Wilson aka Falcon set off to find him, as Nick Fury goes
to Europe and Black Widow goes to...wherever.
Guess it’ll take a while to assemble these guys again.
By the way, can someone please tell me what happens to Agents of SHIELD now?
I’ve only managed to watch four episodes, but what happens?
Does it become Agents of HYRDA?
Hey, meanwhile, that kid called Peter Quill who got kidnapped by aliens?
Well, he’s grown up and become a sort of intergalactic thief.
He steals that ball that Gamora is sent to get.
Gamora works for Thanos and his servant Ronan, but planned to betray them because they’re
jerks.
She ends up trying to steal the ball from Quill on a planet called Xandar, but is confronted
by the travelling duo Rocket Raccoon and Groot.
All four of them go to jail but escape, along with a guy whose family was murdered by Ronan
called Drax.
They form a team called the Guardians of the Galaxy and stop Ronan from wiping out billions
of lives.
And that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe in chronological order, from 3000 BC to 2014.
Boom!
Now, what is your favorite Marvel Cinematic Universe film?
Be sure to tell me in the comments below.
Thanks for watching, and be sure to subscribe!