Hollywood has an embarrassingly poor track record when it comes to adapting anime properties
for the silver screen.
And if the negative reaction to Ghost in the Shell is anything to go by, that's not likely
to change anytime soon.
Hollywood hasn't abandoned their attempts to find the right approach to anime remakes,
but some of the stuff is just too weird for western sensibilities.
Prison School
On the surface, Prison School seems like the kind of property that might fit right in with
other dystopian teen flicks.
But the way this anime shows its young characters struggling against injustice is nothing like
The Hunger Games.
This adaptation of Akira Hiramoto's manga series follows five boys who get accepted
into a prestigious school that was formerly only available to female students.
After almost immediately getting caught peeping in the girl's locker room, the boys are thrown
in the school's own horrific prison.
What happens is way too graphic to describe here, but it's safe to say that Hollywood
isn't likely to consider buying the rights to a show that blends high school life with
Fifty Shades of Grey anytime soon.
No Game No Life
The overwhelming popularity of Sword Art Online has not only been responsible for a boom in
MMORPG-themed anime, but also paved the way for advances in real life virtual reality
gaming.
But while a live-action series of Sword Art is currently being developed for U.S. television,
that isn't likely to happen with another series called No Game No Life.
This anime is the story of Sora and his little sister Shiro, two reclusive gamers who are
transported to a world called Disboard by the God of Gaming after they defeat him in
a game of chess.
Once there, the siblings launch a plan to usurp the reigning god and take over.
The story in itself is pretty standard in the emerging MMORPG genre, though the extremely
creepy relationship between Sora and his 11-year-old little sister raises numerous red flags.
That's all we can really say about that, but it's pretty safe to assume that you'll never
see No Game No Life on the big screen in the US.
And you may be put on a list even if you watch the anime.
Sekkou Boys
Recently named among the best idol anime of all time by My Anime List, Sekkou Boys is
also one of the most bizarre, idol or otherwise.
The show follows the exploits of Miki, a recent graduate who lands a dream job managing an
all new idol group, which isn't that unusual….
except this idol group is made up of four Greco-Roman busts.
Yeah.
Singing stone busts Saint Giorgio, Medici, Hermes, and Mars take the idol world by storm
with Miki's help, which mainly involves wheeling them from gig to gig in a wheelbarrow.
The offbeat humor and crazy set up that made this unique show so popular would undoubtedly
be lost in the transition to the big screen.
Elfen Lied
Originally airing in 2004, Elfen Lied came to the attention of western audiences after
the success of Stranger Things.
Just like the Duffer Brothers hit, Elfen Lied follows a girl with mysterious powers as she
escapes experimentation at a government facility and wreaks havoc on her captors.
The sibling creators of Stranger Things were quick to acknowledge the show as an influence
once people started noting the similarities.
Even still, there's too much violence for Lucy's story to make it to the screen intact,
and there's one terrible instance of animal abuse that would be enough to give Hollywood
execs nightmares.
It makes the subsequent brutal murder of her tormentors satisfying to watch, but animal
lovers beware.
Kinnikuman
First conceived by the writer and artist team known as "Boiled Egg", Kinnikuman initially
started out as a parody of '60s sci-fi series Ultraman, but was also largely influenced
by the rise in popularity of pro-wrestling in Japan.
The story follows the missing prince of planet Kinniku as he attempts to prove himself worthy
of his title through wrestling competitions with other Super Men, all of whom are embodiments
of the places they represent.
Even though branded action figures flooded American toy stores back in the '80s, one
of the reasons the anime never really made it to the US because of the character Brockenman,
a full-fledged Nazi who would wrestle in an SS-themed outfit.
The fact that they attempted to make his son Brocken Jr. a "good Nazi" was even worse in
many ways.
Despite its cult status in Japan, Kinnikuman is way off the Hollywood radar.
Mysterious Girlfriend X
Equal parts engrossing and just plain gross, Mysterious Girlfriend X is the unconventional
love story of 16 year old Akira and his loner classmate Mikoto, two teens who bond over…
spit.
Realistic or not, Hollywood execs aren't about to get excited over a love affair based on
a saliva fetish, no matter how well received it's been in Japan.
Plus, you'd be hard pressed to find a pair of actors willing to spit in each other's
mouths.
That hasn't stopped anime fans from wanting to see more animated weirdness, however.
Only a single season exists right now, despite plenty of unused material from the original
manga.
A petition was started to bring Mysterious Girlfriend X back, though studio Hoods Entertainment
has yet to oblige.
Akikan!
Translating to English as 'Empty Can', the utterly bizarre Akikan takes place in a world
where anthropomorphic soda cans do battle to determine which type of drink container
is superior: steel or aluminum.
Caught up in this perplexing soda war is high school student Kakeru, a collector of rare
soda containers who is taken by surprise when his can of melon soda transforms into a beautiful
human girl.
The creatively-named Melon needs to be regularly infused with carbon dioxide in order to survive
as a human and defeat her competitors, and Kakeru is more than willing to help.
Not only would it be difficult to give any real resonance to an ongoing battle between
living soda cans, but Akikan's over-the-top depiction of certain stereotypes just wouldn't
fly in Hollywood.
This one's going to have to be kept in the can.
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