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Okay storytime...
Has someone ever challenged you to something that they didn't know you were an expert at?
If so how did it turn out for you/them?
I’m really good at archery.
My friend and I rented him a bow at the local range and he wanted to bet me beers for every
round.
I told him repeatedly no, you will not win.
He could probably get lucky if we did one arrow shoot offs but he wanted to do proper
three arrow rounds.He insisted.
I drank for free all night.
A neighbor on my block in Brooklyn challenged me to a pizza bake-off.
I recently catered pizza for my daughters school and word got around the neighborhood
my pizza was pretty darn good.
My first thought was, "this guy is a Brooklyn native, my pizza will be sheete compared to
his!"
But there was something about him bragging that I couldn't resist the challenge.
He talked up how pizza was in his blood, how his dad ran the pizza place around the corner
years ago.
I remained silent and let my skills answer for themselves.
I got a buddy to let us use one of Baker's Pride ovens at his restaurant.
We even had total strangers try our pizzas.
Every last person chose my pizza over his.
I never mentioned to him that I've worked in pizza places almost every day for the last
thirty years.
I never mentioned that when I'm not working at a pizza place I'm making pizzas at home
at least once every two days.
I never mentioned that at nine years old I knew that I wanted to be a pizza man.
Here I am 45 and getting ready to start my own pizza business.
Wasn’t me, but there’s a story about an old geotechnical engineer who used to work
for the company I work for.Several senior staff had to attend a meeting with the client,
and some government regulatory staff who were being awkward and not approving the design.This
geotech guy is pretty much quiet the whole meeting.
Throughout the discussion,the government guy keeps referencing this research document and
shooting down anything anybody suggests.Near the end of the meeting geotech asks government
guy if he has the research paper with him.
He responds yes and places it on the table.Geotech asks government guy who is the author of the
paper?
Then slides over a business card.
Turns out it’s geotechs own paper that government guy has been referencing to defend his argument.Government
guy went bright red and apparently approved the design the same day.
Some Japanese client that studied in France asked me for a translation job but wanted
to change all my sentences to prove she was better than me at my own mother tongue.
She ended up writing something grammatically correct but that sounded so horribly sixual
that if you tried and googled the terms you would only find corn and erotic novels.
I had to tell my boss she was forcing me to write corn (because it was for a mascara brand
that was supposed to be sold in France) so he could stop her and after that she stopped
trying to best me.
My landlord tried blaming me for damage to the Kitchen cabinets but didn't know that
I'm in construction and am very familiar with home building codes.They placed the cabinets
too close to the stove and the glue that held the laminate had melted.
A local mall had a portable climbing wall with a “make it to the top and win $100”
side.
The route was actually pretty challenging.
As I walked by the guy asked me if I’d like to try “nobody has made it to the top, you
think you can do it buddy”
At the time I was ranked top 12 climber in my age group and kind of laughed to myself.After
taking my $100 I then proceeded to call the rest of my climbing team and one by one they
went to the mall and claimed their $100
After the 4th person they guy got suspicious and took the sign down.
We later told him we were all Nationally ranked competition climbers and he got a good laugh.
The company who owned the rentals was the one who lost the money, he just worked the
booth and wasn’t the one who lost the prize money.
When working as a teacher I beat a lot of students in Pokémon battles, cause they didn't
think of me being like 15 years ahead of them in fighting experience.
Noobs.
I was a competitive swimmer for 14 years, including 4 years of NCAA, but I'm on the
shorter side so people don't assume I was any good.Was at a friends house on a lake
one summer, and a macho guy challenged me to race to a buoy in the middle of the lake,
to prove... something, I guess.
The lake is deceptively large, about a half mile across, so I warned him that if he isn't
a strong swimmer it could be dangerous.He was running out of gas after about 2 minutes,
so I offered to let him off the hook, but he insisted he would finish.
I went to the buoy and was swimming back when I found him floundering, so I lifeguard swam
him back to the house.
His ego took a deserved hit that day.Don't get cucky around water, even if you think
you're a strong swimmer.Edit: thanks a ton for the W and the votes, but I want to emphasize
here how quickly this kind of thing can turn dangerous.
I was a lifeguard at the time, and there was another lifeguard present, but even so this
was a dumb idea.
DON'T DO DUMB STUFF IN WATER.
A tinder date bet me dinner that I couldn't beat her in smash.
I've been playing competitively for around 6 years, so she ended up paying for dinner.
My wife and I were taking an evening cruise for adults in Portsmouth Bay.
The ship drove around the shipyard, where my submarine and several others were stationed.
My wife and I are having a quiet drink when a really loud know it all starts spouting
misinformation about each submarine we are driving by.
Calling them all the wrong class, wrong names, etcetera
When he literally points to my submarine and says "and that is a 637 class" my wife finally
speaks up and says "actually that is a 688 inches . The guy gets all gruff and says "well
how would you know?".
My wife smiles, hugs my arm and says sweetly "That's my husbands submarine, it is the Minneapolis
St Paul, SNN-708."
He turned beat red while his date laughed.
Not me but my brother & best friend.
We were in Baltimore for a baseball weekend in 2009 and hanging out at a bar across from
Camden yards.
They had a Silver Strike bowling video game.
At our local bar back in Boston we had one as well.
I’m decent at the game but my brother and buddy were ducking amazing at this game.
Bowling 300 games and what not.
So two dudes are playing this game and drinking.
We ask them if we can play when they’re done.
They ask if we want to play them.
We said sure.
My brother andbuddy destroy these guys.
Like it wasn’t even close.
These dudes said it was a fluke and they wanted a rematch but this time for a round of beers.
Again, annihilation city.
But they kept wanting to play, to eventually win a game.
No lie, after THIRTEEN ROUNDS OF BEERS they finally gave up.
They were great guys.
We saw them the next day at the same bar and they walked up to Us with beers in hand already
and said “rematch”.
To this day we still hang out with them whenever we go to Baltimore.
And to this day, they have never won.Edit for details: the guys were buying 2 beers
each time they lost a game to the two guys they lost to, for my brother and friend.
The beers were Natty Boh, which is Baltimore's cheap gross awesome beer.
I can’t remember the price, but they were under 2 bucks a piece back then.
They would buy the beers and they’d just start piling up on the table next to the machine
so we were all just drinking them.
I’d say around 25-30 beers between the 5 of us in 4 or 5 hours.
Tab was probably 60ish bucks for beers but we were there all night getting wings and
a million apps so we all just paid the tab anyways.
I’m not a great swimmer but there was a time when I would do laps for literally hours.
I would go slowly to make sure that I had the energy to do the time I wanted to.
This kid challenged me to race.
I left him so far behind it was funny.
He though he was about to humiliate me in front of his friends.
My nephew challenged me to Super Smash Bros Ultimate once.
Once.
Co worker - “I’m pretty good at running, I run every day.
I could probably beat you in a marathon.”
They didn’t know I used to be a pro runner.
Ran under 14 minutes in the 5k, sub 29 in the 10k, and under 15 hours for 100 miles
on trails.
Won a national title even.So I agreed to run with them and jumped in the local marathon
with no training.
I took the prize purse and made myself a few hundred bucks and took everyone out for beers
with it.
Was an interesting next Monday at work.
Still waiting to say the words I've been preparing for all my life:"YOU want to play Dr Mario
with ME?
You absolute fool."
I’m a teacher so people try to tell me how to do my job all the time (parents, kids,
politicians, etcetera).
How’d it turn out?
Welcome to my world, duckers.
Home schooling is a itch, isn’t it?
Your kids are kind of horrible, aren’t they?
Lessons aren’t that easy to plan, are they?Meanwhile, I’m drinking a beer at 10am while grading
the assignments I posted last week.EDIT:
.Cleaning some things up:I’m not actually drinking a beer at 10am...that’s clearly
for this afternoon (it is Dyngus Day!)
Parents, this was meant to be satirical: please do not think for a second that we as teachers
do not appreciate and sympathize with you all during this ordeal, especially those whom
are working still!
Just graduated as a teacher and I’ve been working as a Casual Relief Teacher.
I play lacrosse which is a small sport already and even smaller here in Australia.
I tried out for the last World Cup team and made it to the final cut.I was team teaching
with another teacher who worked at the school.
Before the period he spoke to me and said “hey mate, we are doing lacrosse today.
It’s a bit of an odd sport and hard to teach so just wait over there and then you can just
help with supervision and discipline.”
then walked off.Being a CRT from an agency, didn’t really know how to speak to him/speak
up.
I tried to speak to him and say that I played but he didn’t give me a second soI just
listened and did my thing.
Few minutes into the start of the lesson I grabbed a stick and ball and just started
to work my around the class giving them pointers and hints.The way he was teaching was completely
incorrect and I didn’t want to say anything so when the kids broke off into groups, I
kinda just taught them correctly.He pulled me over at a drinks break and asked how I
knew so much/good perform the skills.
I told him how I play lacrosse and my playing history.
He asked why I didn’t speak up and say anything and I said I tried to tell him.Anyway, I ended
up running the rest of the class and even ended up sitting down with him and going through
the correct and easier way to teach the game and skills.
Went with a big group of college students to a bar.
I was challenged by a cute little girl (and by that I mean she was maybe 95lbs, 4 feet
11 inches ) to a drink contest with a pint of beer.
I'm 6 feet 1 inch , 200lbs, so I just chuckled and agreed to it.It seems like I had just
enough time to tilt my head back to start chugging when I hear her empty glass hit the
table.
Turns out she had the ability to just open her throat and pour the beer down.We dated
for about six months after that.
Seriously.
Everyone thinks they are amazing at Mario Kart.
They used to be good as a kid and think they still are.I played 2-4 hours everyday in undergrad
(a couple years ago).
I raced in local and school tournaments and won most of the time.
I was within seconds on several course records.
I have every course memorized and know exactly when to brake on every turn.I don’t play
much anymore, but anytime somebody sees my Mario Kart painting (I won it at a local tournament),
they tell me how amazing they are.
I’m happy to absolutely destroy them.
It’s an otherwise useless skill.Edit to answer questions: My best game is Mario Kart
8 (and Deluxe since it’s basically the same).
I like tothink I’d be good at Double Dash and MK7 since that’s what I played as a
kid, but I doubt I actually am.If you think you can beat me on MK64, you’re right.
I got humbled at a New Years party when I assumed my skills would translate and I finished
dead last.
Mario Kart is honestly not super high skill, just memorization and optimization.And yes,
you need to brake on most courses at 200cc.
I promise y’all can’t beat me on Deluxe
I can’t find the painting online and I don’t have it in this apartment.
It’s just Luigi on Cheep Cheep Beach and its off something like Etsy I think?
I got to pick it after I won.I almost always use Donkey Kong on a bike.
And my best course is Toad Harbor, that’s where I was closest to beating the record.
Chess.
I'm a Chess master.
I think when people hear that they're like 'oh he's really good at chess', but what it
means is that I've played in international tournaments and beaten other masters and some
governing body has given me a title.Anyway, I get challenged a lot by friends who think
they're pretty good.
What they don't realize is that your average 'pretty good' player is getting destroyed
by your average tournament player.
And your average tournament player is getting destroyed by a master.
Someone at a bar bet me there were only 30 days in a particular month.
$20 if I could prove them wrong right then (pre-cellphone days).
I was born on the 31st of that month, showed them my drivers license...edit: The person
was drunk.
And maybe not the brightest.
edit: My driver's license wasn’t fake.
My birthday is definitely in either Jan, Mar, May, July, Aug, Oct, or Dec
My Uncle challenged Jack Nicklaus to a golf game in college, without a clue.
The humiliation burns him to this day.
I was visiting Kyoto a couple years ago (I’m an American) and my wife and I walked into
a tiny bar which had 5 people in suits laughing and talking in Japanese.
We instantly knew that this was not a tourist bar and felt pretty out of place.
The bartender spoke the most english so I asked him what his favorite Shochu was, and
things got a little more comfortable as we drank and the whole bar tried to talk to us.Someone
mentioned Mario Kart and I said “yeah yeah” - so the bartender points to an old super
famicom in the corner and apparently I have accepted the challenge.I smiled to myself
and my wife thinks it’s funny because I used to have some skill at this game.
Bartender selects battle mode and... the guy is ducking phenomenal.
Ihaven’t played in a few years and he buries me in less than a minute.
The whole bar is laughing and I’m a little stunned.
We’re on to the 2nd of 3 rounds.I destroy him.
3 balloons to 0.
Everyone cheers except the bartender.
2 shots were put in front of me and I throw one down.Round 3.
We’re down to one balloon each and I swear it’s the longest battle round of all time.
I’m sweating.
Shell, dodge, shell, dodge.
I have him in my sights and I fire.I miss - the shell bounces off the wall and I self-KO.
The crowd goes wild.So that’s the story of how a self-proclaimed Mario Kart expert
embarrassed himself and his country in a small bar in Kyoto.
We drank a lot and made a lot of great friends that night that we’ll never see again...
Guitar Hero.
That poor bastard didn't know what he was getting into.
He suggested we play and was making joking comments about how he could totally beat me.
We played on expert and I absolutely demolished him.
My man was even struggling to hit the orange notes shake my head.
Not me but a while back a guy I knew from church growing up posted on facebook something
about Crusades and medieval Christianity.
A girl responded and gave x, y, z reasons why he was wrong.
The guy responded back with you don't know what you are talking about, you need to do
your research and linked couple of youtube links of armchair historians/pastors.
She hits him back with a dozen or so academic sources and let him know that she was 3 years
in a PhD program studying medieval history.
Not a physical challenge but I sell building materials for a living (think Home Depot but
for guys that build skyscrapers and stadiums).
There has been many occasions where an old man with zero construction knowledge tries
to lecture me on what I do for a living.
My office announced a laser tag team building event, two weeks after I played in the laser
tag (Ultrazone) national championships.
Which were an actual thing in 1997.Edit: Sigh... no, this is not a HIMYM reference, which I
have to specify every ducking time I talk about it.
While not a pro, I'm pretty darn good at poker.
The church I was at had a Poker night and I was just going to watch.
They insisted I join the 25 cent game.Came home with $200 and they decided to never have
a poker night again.
My dad was into video games before they were really a thing.He had a Magnavox Odessey,
intellivision, etcetera..In the 80s you could rent Nintendo's and games from video stores.
He would do this when he visited and I would almost always smoke him at whatever game.I
didn't see him that much, but he was visiting and decided to rent one and the game DoubleDribble
(old NES basketball game).
It was pretty new at the time and he knew I didn't really like basketball.He played
it all day while I was in school and when I got home he challenged me to a game.The
look on his face when his 10 year old son beat him by 20 points or so was priceless.My
friends and I basically rented every game when it came out and I had played this one
a lot.I mean, it's sports but it is still a video game.
I was good at games.Karma time is now my teenagers can regularly beat me at just about anything.
I had a mate that would play Call Of Duty with me & I'd usually beat him in a 1v1 but
he occasionally would maybe win or at least get close, but then we played a different
game.
Motorstorm Apocalypse.
I was a legitimate top 10 player on that game with multiple number1 time attack times etcetera
and he had just started playing through the offline mode and was winning the races so
he thought he was good, I warned him but he insisted on a 1v1 to show off his skills.2
minutes later & I've lapped him on a 3 lap race and he's quit the race before he's finished
due to the embarrassment of not being able to finish because there's a 1 minute timer
on the end of the race where anyone that hasn't finished doesn't get to finish.He never played
that game again.
Shotgumning beers.
He lost and wanted a second go.
Then proceeded to fall down after second round loss.