- Pow!
- Who put me on this panel?
- That's part of your body!
(group laughs)
That's (bleep) up.
- Does anybody know what the (bleep)
Stan Lee's talkin' about?
- Ex-celsi-(bleep)-or.
(dramatic music) (thunder claps)
(evil laughter)
- Hello and welcome to Dead Table Talks.
(thunder claps)
- That was a really cool effect.
Today we will be chatting with more spirits
in the Smosh Spooky Room,
which is located in the basement underneath our studio.
Now, today, I won't be using an incantation.
I will instead be using an
Ouija board.
Spirits, if you are here
and you would like to communicate
please do at this time.
(thunder claps) Spirits, arise!
(thunder claps)
(all yelling)
- Oh man.
- I'm too old for this!
- Crack-a-lackin!
- Wow!
Okay. I've got four spirits that have arisen
all of whom I knew were dead for sure.
Going around, I'm just gonna
You know what?
Let's
gotta come up with questions for these spirits.
Am I correct in saying you are Elvis?
- That's right. Elvis Presley, the fricking king, man.
(group laughs)
And veteran of rock and roll and peanut butter, man.
Whoa.
- Thank you so much for being here Elvis.
And next to Elvis, here we have
- My name's Chris Rock.
After Will Smith slapped the (bleep) outta me,
my soul left my body
- Oh my god!
- And I went to meet my maker.
- Well thank you for being here,
the spirit of Chris Rock.
So your body
- Oh, are you slapping me.
- Oh, sorry, sorry
I'll watch, listen, I'll always do closed fist
when I'm near you, okay?
- Whoa, that' better. - That's closed fist
when I'm pointing towards you.
And here to my left.
- Huh?
- Here to my left.
We have, please introduce yourself.
I'm Stan Lee.
- Oh my God, Stan Lee!
- Creator of the most popular comic book company
of all time,
Marvel Entertainment.
Excelsior! (coughs)
I fed you nerds some weird (bleep)
about grown men in tights.
You ate it up and I love ya for it.
(coughing) Excelsior!
- Does he have Covid?
- What's that?
- You know what?
You might have left at a good time.
- I loved you in Rush Hour one, two, and three by the way.
(laughs) - No! Stan Lee, no!
- Just like a white man.
Can't tell a Chris from another Chris.
- Somehow, I'm the second most racist person in this room.
- Whoa!
- Ah ah ah ah ah, third.
(group laughs)
- Let's introduce
- I'm Mr. Peanut.
Famous.
Rich.
Nut.
But I'm more than that.
I'm a friend,
an entrepreneur,
a dreamer,
and legume.
(audience laughing)
- [Noah] Technically, a legume!
- No!
- Better. Hold him back, man.
That peanut's looking real good.
Oh man!
- Holy (bleep)! Elvis, you can't eat Mr. Peanut.
You can't eat Mr. Peanut!
- Mm, I wanna cover him in jelly and bacon
and just go to town, man!
- You know, Elvis is hungry.
- Okay, spirits we're gettin' a little rowdy.
I'm happy that we're all here.
I need to learn from you.
The world has a lot of information that we can learn
from these great minds that were once with us.
What is the greatest lesson you learned in life?
- I guess
always be proud of
what you invented, you know
Rock and roll.
- Hold up!
- Peanut butter.
I even invented Black History Month.
- Oh, man! No. (group laughs)
- Let me guess.
Hold on. Let me guess.
You probably invented braids
and dashikis as well.
- Yeah, you know, man.
(group laughs)
- Elvis, I just wanna say
from one self-made white man to another.
- [Elvis] That's right.
- I can't help but love your contribution
to this great nation.
- Thanks so much, man.
- Stan Lee!
- Peanuts.
- Did it all myself.
- Who put me on this panel?
How did I get here?
- Unfortunately Chris, it's my fault.
- Oh, God! - It's my fault.
Greatest lesson I ever learned in life,
always have security.
Big physical security.
Nobody's gonna walk on the stage with me.
- That's a good tip.
- First off
Excelsior!
Second, when you're in San Diego Comic Convention
and an absolutely beautiful couple
cos-playing as the Incredible Hulk
and his green mistress, She-Hulk
approach you and invite you back to their room.
You say
Hell yes!
(group laughs)
- [Elvis] Hell yeah, man.
When you're in Cancun
and an absolutely stunning woman
dressed as the Scarlet Witch
invites you back to her boat
to smoke a doobie.
You say Yes!
And Excelsior!
- Hold on!
Does anybody know what the (bleep)
Stan Lee's talkin' about?
- I think I get it.
- Excelsior!
- Good. We got it in there.
- I got a question for Stan Lee.
Is your name just one word or is it like two?
Did your mom mess up on your birth certificate?
What is that?
- What is this some sort of comic routine?
I've been through three wars, punk.
Show me some respect.
Infinity War,
End Game,
and the one with the other aliens.
Show me some damn respect, punk.
- I'm sorry, I'm gonna respect my elders!
- Three wars!
- I fought in a war too. Hwoa Ha!
- I fight a war every day of my life.
People are always trying to shell me
pick me out of a barrel.
Shop me out of a store.
(group laughs)
My people have suffered hard
- Your people!
The peanut, the legumes?
- The legume people.
- Charlie Brown and all them. Hwoa!
(group laughs) - Mr. Peanut.
- Mr. Peanut - Yes?
- Mr. Peanut. - Yes.
- What is the greatest lesson that you've learned in life?
- I learned how to be happy.
And it doesn't have to be
about being famous.
You don't have to be rich.
Am I famous?
Yes.
Am I rich?
Yes.
But that's not the secret.
And I tell this to everyone.
Here's how you be happy.
Buy a boat.
(Noah laughs)
- And smoke a doobie on it!
- And smoke a doobie on it.
(group laughs)
- You know, I see a lot in common between us.
I feel like we're always
about to break- - Successful white men.
- about to break out into song.
- Sounds racist to me.
- And when we both sit on the toilet
our nuts touch the water.
(group laughs)
- Talk about nuts.
- No!
Elvis.
- Oh, man, whoa!
There it is, oh.
Drop an anchor.
- Peanuts don't (bleep).
Was that a (bleep) joke?
- Do they not?
- Nope.
What would we (bleep)?
More nuts?
- I like you.
- I like you too.
- You got something.
- You got (bleep) on your lip.
(group laughs)
- It's just my mustache reaching into my mouth a little bit.
- That's part of your body?
- Elvis, where on Earth do you like to hunt,
out of everywhere?
- Do I like to hunt?
- Yeah. One location.
- Oh man, ohhhh.
First off, I wanna say I'm a big fan of you, Dennis Rodman.
- Oh, God! (group laughs)
You were dead!
You don't even.
- Your work is great, man.
You can really put it back.
No, I'm not even talking about
what you did on the court.
Now,
- Oh (bleep)!
- Well, you'll find me all over Vegas.
The Golden Nugget, in the bathroom.
But you can also find me in every Applebee's. Kyah!
- We met in an Applebee's once.
- That's right.
- Don't know if you remember.
- I do remember.
- Remember what you said to me that day?
- Yes, I looked at you and I said, Excelsior!
- Excelsior!
- Yeah, I said it first.
- What the (bleep)?!
- What is that? What is that?
- What the (bleep) is Excelsior?
- I dunno what that is.
- Chris. So your spirit, is there any place
that it likes to haunt or roam the Earth?
- It likes to haunt in the Calabasas area.
'Cause the Smith family lives there.
- You're just haunting up and down the 101.
- The whole Smith family.
'Cause if your name ends with Smith, that's it.
- Wow. So like Bob Smith. The BMW-
- The Bob Smith. - and Mini Cooper dealership?
- Like all the Smiths.
- Okay.
- Abby Smith.
(group laughs)
- Smith and Wesson. Pow!
- Smithsonian.
- Blacksmith.
- That's right.
(group laughs)
That's right!
Blacksmith
- Granny Smith apples!
- That's good.
- Wait, I got one.
I got it. Come on.
(Noah laughs)
I got one. I got one.
- Give him a break, guys
He's a little old.
- I can do this.
Oh, (bleep)!
Oh, go, circle back.
- Yeah, come back. We'll come back.
(bleep)
- Next question.
- Stan, Stan Lee.
- The head of DC Comics.
His name is Jim Lee.
That's his real name.
No relation.
Excelsior.
I like to possess his body
and make the upcoming DC cinematic projects
as horrific and terrible as ghostly possible.
I've been doing it for a long time.
- I know, I can tell.
- I'm pretty damn good at it.
Ex-celsi- (bleep) or!
(audience laughs)
- No, it's my-
- Wow. Stan, a follow up on that.
What did you do in order to get Bat Girl canceled?
- I jumped into his body
and I went to the execs for the the people
that were making Bat Girl.
And I said, "This is ass."
Don't do it.
I'm the head of DC Comics
and I think this is ass!
And they were like, "Ass?"
And I went big old butt!
Excelsior.
- Mr. Peanut.
- Yeah.
- Oh, you're smelling the
Okay.
I hope you enjoyed the scent of our cloth.
- I did not.
(group laughs)
- You know what? I'll get someone on it.
- I like to haunt those restaurants that
they let you throw peanuts on the ground.
- Oh yeah.
- Oh, like a-
- Logan's! Or a Texas Roadhouse.
- Texas Roadhouse.
- Yeah, I follow those people home.
I wait till it's all dark and spooky.
I sneak up behind them.
- He's gettin' a little creepy.
- And then I sue them.
(group laughs)
- [Elvis] Oh man.
- Wow, they get sued by a ghost?
- They get sued by a ghost.
- Can I ask just a follow-up question.
Where were you born?
- What?
- Okay. That's the answer.
- Oh, I also haunt Paul Giamanti.
- Oh, that's nice.
- Because I think if I were a person
that's what I would look like.
- Probably, man,
- Probably!
- Probably.
(group laughs)
- Oh my God!
- That is the most insane thing I've ever heard.
- Elvis, I got a question for you.
You lived a short life.
Forty-two years.
What would you have done differently in your life?
- Man, I might have done things a lot different.
Maybe I would've settled down.
You know, given up the life.
Instead, married a woman
maybe a little older,
(group laughs)
and maybe just lived a quiet life
on the countryside.
You know, been a little more humble.
And then I would've,
Just kiddin', man! Hwoa!
I didn't do anything wrong.
I did everything right.
I wouldn't a done a single thing different.
I don't regret a single
peanut butter jelly and bacon sandwich, man.
Wh-Go!
- Wow.
You don't think maybe like a little bit more
MiraLax mighta helped.
- Maybe I woulda had more bowel movements.
- Chris, the spirit of Chris Rock.
- Well, first of all, I wouldn't a got slapped.
I would've fought back.
But I also would've took those TaeKwonDo classes
my mom tried to get me to take when I was a kid.
- Would you have blocked the slap
and hit 'em with a counter slap?
- 100%. Because then my pimp hand would be strong,
like Pa-Dap!
- Uh, Stan. (Mr. Peanut yells)
- No, goddammit, man!
Stop! - You're not fast enough.
- You almost got nuts in your face.
(group laughs)
- Welp, that wouldn't be the first time.
- I got that one, Elvis.
I got that one.
- Excelsior.
- Good old nut joke.
- My phrase. Excelsior.
- Wait, what? - Wha?
- What? - Wha?
- What? - What?
- Hwa!
- I have a very famous villain
called Dr. Octopus.
And if I would've done one thing differently
I would've made a
Japanese manga comic
(Noah laughs) where Dr. Octopus
gets really into hentai.
- No!
- That's awesome.
- Do you think Spider Man would make an appearance in that?
- Never.
- Never?
- Peter would never do that.
(group laughs)
Excelsior.
- [Noah] You really thought about that one.
Thank you so much Mr. Lee.
- Excelsior.
- And over here, we're gonna go to Mr. Peanut.
What would you have done differently in life?
- Oh, here he is getting up again.
(group laughs)
- What is that?
- [Noah] The choker or the-
- No, this, the whole
what is that?
- Technically, that's a skeleton.
It's human bones.
- In you?
(group laughs)
Inside?
- Yes, Mr. Peanut, in every human being.
The people who eat your nuts
inside of of them is this.
You didn't know-
- That's (bleep) up.
That's (bleep) up.
(group laughs)
- You didn't know about bones?
Did you think we were all different nuts?
- Right, yeah.
I thought you were an almond.
Pistachio.
Nutcase.
(group laughs)
- Oh man, nice!
- Yeah, what would I do differently?
I guess I would try to x-ray myself.
If that (bleep) inside you
what the (bleep) is inside me?
- We all are wondering.
We've never seen the body. Did you know that?
Was that upon your request to hide the body?
- Mm. Mm Hmm.
Roasted.
(group laughs) - You were roasted.
- You didn't get cremated?
You got roasted, by your own request.
- Mmm Hmm.
- Don't you have a kid, like a little peanut kid?
- Baby Nut
- Baby Nut.
- [Elvis] Baby Nut.
- Sit up straight.
The rich don't slouch.
- Wow.
- That was a good joke Mr. Peanut.
That joke slapped.
(group laughs)
- Do you have a message you'd like me
to relay back to the people of Earth?
- Were the cast of New Girl friends in real life?
(group laughs)
No, don't tell me.
I don't wanna ruin the magic.
I want to still be able to re-watch that show.
God, the dynamic is so good.
Kyah!
- God Dammit.
- You watch New Girl in the afterlife?
- Yeah, I did.
- Is it on TV?
- I was also on it. I played Coach.
(group laughs)
- Holy (bleep) (bleep)
Alright.
Uh, Chris. - What?
- So the soul of Chris Rock,
Is there something that you would like
to relay back to, to Earth, a message?
- I'd just like to apologize to the Academy
for having a slappable face.
(Noah laughs)
I'm sorry.
- To my wife,
Excelsior.
To my dog,
Woof woof bark bark.
Excelsior.
To Big C, Young True, and all my west side mofos,
- Excelsior!
- Holy (bleep)!
- Excelsior!
- I love you mofos.
- Damn!
Now we're moving on to Mr. Peanut.
If there was one message for me
to relay back to the people of Earth,
what would you like them to know?
- To anyone that has peanuts at home right now?
Put a monocle on it.
Put a top hat on it.
(group laughs)
Give it a chance.
(group laughs)
- Is that how you were made?
- And to Paul Giamani
Savor every breath,
every ache in your side,
every fart.
Because I would long to have your body.
(audience laughs)
- Thank you so much for that
very intense message for the one and only,
Paul, I think it's Giamatti
I'm not sure, actually. Because now I'm confused.
- Mm, I'm pretty sure it's Giamani.
- Is it Giamani?
I don't know anymore.
Look, I learned a lot today.
We had Elvis Presley.
- That's right, man.
- We had Chris Rock's spirit.
We had the Stan Lee
- I got one
for the Smith thing.
- Oh yeah
- I got, I got one.
I've got one.
- [Noah] Okay
- I got one.
- Are we still talking about the Smiths?
- It's that black fellow Will Smith
Will Smith.
- Oh!
- That's a Smith.
- That is a Smith.
You know, it was a little triggering to say it,
but it's all right.
Still, thank you for being here, Mr. Lee.
And of course the ghost of Mr. Peanut
who we've now learned is a legume.
I didn't know that fact.
- Peanuts are legumes.
- Thank you for teaching me about that.
Oh, thank you for moving that with your cane.
(group laughs)
I wanna thank these four spirits for joining me.
I wanna thank you for joining me.
If there's anyone else that you would like to see here
join me in the Smosh Spooky Room.
I can't even speak anymore.
Comment down below whatever spirits
you would like to see join us in the Spooky Room.
Until next time, click on these videos down below
if you wanna watch some others.
I'm now gonna let my spirits go back
to the spirit realm.
Thank you so much, my friends.
I now
release you.
(thunder claps)
- Whoa, man. Whoa! - God damn!
- Are they still here?
Are they still.
- Are we supposed to go?