I was kind of in this relationship with this older woman.
And the only reason she wanted to end it was her friends convinced her it wouldn't work
based on our age.
She was like four years older than me.
Right?
It's not even crazy.
And we had a similar income.
My love making game is like a fifty year old but a thirty year old but a twenty year old.
Look up what that really means.
Nothing about our relationship is child like other than cartoon Tuesday.
I was literally listening to "Age Ain't Nothing but a Number" all the time.
I would text her that song just to play around.
I eventually just made the song.
Now she’s hitting me like, "I see that you're on Genius, would you like to date?"
I'm like, "Listen shorty, I've got a meeting to go to."
"Jill Scott has told me there's a tea party I should attend."
And that's the fact.
We were in Ashboro, North Carolina or something like that.
For all these drunk, strong white people.
They were all wearing flannels.
I was like, "y'all look like y'all move trees."
They were going off.
I was like you better dance like your hip ain't broke.
And they were like, "my hip ain't broke."
During the show I'm like the real reason I'm here is to find a sugar mama.
And they're like, “ha.” I'm like, I'm not kidding at all.
I would quit all this
if I had an allowance every week from a lady with all this money that she doesn't know what to do with.
There would be no album.
I'd just be out there buying rings. You know what I'm saying?
It would be beautiful if all I had to do was play piano for her in the morning or buy her some
lotion for her to apply to her own feet.
I could do musical favors but I ain't beating the cheeks.
With the older women, they ain't got time, but they got time.
I'll explain.
Here's the thing, basically Tuesday and Saturday is her play-play time.
If play play means she twerk-twerking, then that's what she's doing.
Other girls are just like, nah I'm just here to just observe.
She ain't there to observe.
She's there for the hors d'oeuvre.
We've got two of age people, two legal people, trying to do some legal things.
You know Jermaine Jackson, I think his shorty twenty three and he's about sixty.
I don't know.
Age might be a number there.
Money might be a number as well.
Then you've got my uncle, he's forty two, and this lady that he is really with is sixty
two but she's got really nice skin.
If I say a Jamie Foxx joke and you ain't chuckling?
And you said Jamie Foxx from 'Django'?
I'm like woman, 'Jamie Foxx Show'.
Come on now, he wore the blue and was out at the Foxxhole.
All she do is make love on Fridays.
She doesn't need a phone for that.
You know her address.
She wrote it down on a napkin.
That's what I need.
You know the "nah" from the "oh yeah".
Older woman, she mastered all the moves.
It doesn't take too much time to figure it out.
Young girls over here are paying attention to something else.
She's wearing some Fashionnova jeans and thinking that's what will do the work for you.
No.
After it comes off you have to know how to nae nae or swag surf.
You can't mother trucking do the jerk and think that's going to get you stanky leg.
SiR has this smoker voice we were just joking around about older women versus younger women.
He was like, "yeah they never have food in their fridges.
But the older women, that fridge is stacked"
I can just picture 40 year old men singing that.
Just like Rick James loving mothertruckers.
“You don’t know your body yet!”
Once you experience pomegranate juice, you don't want this mother trucking Sunny Delight.
I want the pomegranate juice.
For me in my life, I feel like the older ladies are fitting the current needs in my life which
is an allowance and experienced lover.