Sup dawg? This week we comin’ together with The Color Purple by
Alice Walker.
Lil’ girl Celie’s life so damn fu**ed dat da only hope she got is
to write letters to God beggin’ fo change. See, she got one twistedass
daddy. Not only is dis fool Alphonso always whopin on her, but
he also raping her. Dude got Celie preggers twice, swiped both kidz
and took em out to da woods... Prolly to kill em. Relentless.
The only thing other than God dat keep Celie goin is her baby-sistah
Nettie. But soon they get separated when Alphonso sell Celie to some
creeper named Mister, even though brutha really wanted summodat
Nettie-sauce. But life ain’t no betta’ with Mister. She still
gettin beat, still gettin’ raped, and on top if it all, gotta look
afta’ all Mister’s lil’ sh** kidz.
One day Nettie busts outta Alphonso’s spot to see Celie. But
she gotta roll when Mister start tryna holla’. She promise to write
Celie on da reg, but Celie never get a single letter. sh**, maybe
Nettie dead?
Couple years later, all Mister’s kids peace outta da crib cept his
son Harpo, who marry some HARD CORE dame named Sofia.
Girl don’t take NO lip from Harpo, so Celie tell Harpo da only way to
keep his dip in check is to do what men been doin to her all her life:
five across da face. But wheneva Harpo try to keep her down, Sofia
ready to bang out like a REAL bad bitch. She put Harpo in his place.
Sofia real pissed at Celie and axe her why she sold a sistah out.
Celie jus say she hatin’ cuz she wanna ball like Sofia.
Later, one of Mister’s on-the-side hunnies Shug get sick and Celie
gotta look afta’ her long term. At first, Shug actin like a bitch
toward Celie, but when she realize how sh**ty Celie’s life be cuz of
Mister, she decide she gotta stay and look out for her. Meanwhile,
Celie can’t keep her mind off a’ Shug bangin body. Mmm! Tru dat!
Eventually Sofia get tired of Harpo always flexin and leaves his ass.
But when Harpo got some otha girl named Squeak, Sofia come back and
pop her right in da mouth. WORLDSTAR!
But afta’ Sofia gets in trouble wit da law, Squeak start lookin afta’
her kids and they become cool. Shug leave for a lil while and come back
wit some scrub husband. But dat don’t stop her for gettin freak
nasty with Celie. Now THIS is literature. When Celie start talkin
bout how much she miss Nettie, Shug say she seen some letters Mister
been stashin. Dis punk-ass been withholdin Nettie’s letters to
Celie!
Dem letters sayin dat Nettie hooked up wit two missionaries named
Samuel and Corrine and they been spreadin da good word in Africa.
Not only dat, but apparently Alphonso didn’t kill Celie’s two
kids. Naw, they were adopted by Samuel and Corrine back in the day.
Ain’t dat some sh**? Also, turns out Alphonso ain’t even their real
daddy.
Finally tired of Mister’s bullsh**, Celie, Squeak and Shugg book it to
Tennessee to start a new life. When Alphonso up and dies, Celie
inherits all da ol family house.
Afta’ 30 years of being apart, da whole family- including Shug- come
together in da old house where it all started. Bout damn time
somethin good happened in this book. sh**.
Most historical novels always jivin’ bout men doin real trill
sh**- conquerin turf, winnin wars, sacrificin they selves...But wit da
Color Purp, my girl A-Walk flippin dat sh** upside down- showin a
WOMAN beast through oppression, and eventually overcoming da same men
who deez old school books deem heroic. Dem bustas might keep Celie
down at first, but by da end, she come out a strong independent woman
doin her thang.
And Da Color Purp don’t stop at flesh-and-blood. Naw, playa. A-Dub
get straight celestial on our asses, askin us a real important
question: Why da hell erryody thinkin God has to be a dude? At
first, Celie thinkin God an old bearded white guy, but afta’ kickin
it wit Shug, Celie’s eyes get opened to all sortsa sh**, and she
able to reach dat next level spirituality:
God ain’t some brutha in da sky who let terrible things happen to
people, Da big G-man inside erry one of us.
Some scholars look at all dem whack dudes in the novel and think that
the whole damn thing about hatin' on men; but they be trippin. Cuz on
the real, a world where one sex gets priority over another ain't
jus' bad for women; it fu**s up bruthas lives too.
Take Harpo: dude actually LIKES cookin' cleanin, and doin'
housework - but whenever he do, his pops bust his ass fo’ it. So
instead of livin' the kinda life he want, doin the things that mean
somethin' to him, Harpo stuck in a backward-ass world sayin dat men
can only do something things, and women others. Truth is, sexism
ain’t got no spot in a civilized society, padna.
So stop hatin’ and hit dat subscribe button yo. Sparky Sweets out. Peace!