How to help someone with PTSD? Post-traumatic stress disorder or just
plain old post-traumatic stress. We're going to dive into that today at Live On
Purpose TV.
Post-traumatic stress. Yeah, sounds fun, doesn't it? Can I make a
distinction right here at the beginning of the video, PTSD are the initials that
we use to describe post-traumatic stress disorder. There is also a concept that's
not a disorder, it's called post traumatic stress. Now I make a
distinction there because post traumatic stress is a normal reaction to an
abnormal event. Let's break it down.. Post means after, traumatic means terrifying,
life-threatening, very disturbing so post traumatic means something that happens
after a really disturbing event. Stress is our body's natural response to threat,
that's why I want to make a distinction between post traumatic stress and post
traumatic stress disorder which is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders, the diagnostic Bible for the field of
psychiatry and psychology, it is a mental disorder that may be covered by
insurance, payments, and all kinds of other things. So there's a disorder and
there's the post traumatic stress. It is normal for people, for human beings to
experience stress after a disturbing event or something that causes injury or
threatens life, okay. So we're talking about things like car accidents or
attacks or abuse or accidents that occur or witnessing
something horrific like war or someone's death, these are all things that can
cause a post-traumatic stress reaction. Okay, now that part's normal and that
will give us some clues into how we can help people who are experiencing
post-traumatic stress. I think the first thing is, help people to see and notice
this for yourself, okay, it is a normal reaction to an abnormal
event in your life. Now that's all relative too. I have clients all the time
for example who go through a breakup in a relationship, separation or a divorce, a
bankruptcy, a car accident, the death of a loved one, there's so many things that
are so stressful in our lives, now are those abnormal events? No, they happen all
the time to all kinds of people. Is it abnormal for that specific person at
that specific time? Yeah, because you never plan on those things to happen so
those kinds of common human experiences can sometimes trigger a post-traumatic
reaction and that's normal. Now it feels crazy but it helps to get a little less
crazy about it when you recognize, okay, this is a normal reaction to an abnormal
event. You're following? Let's change the culture around that, it is not crazy or
abnormal to have that stressed response to a traumatic event in your life, even
if that traumatic event doesn't seem like that big a deal to other people.
Yeah, well it's not there in life so you're never wrong about how you feel.
Now having said that right at the onset, post traumatic stress disorder
can develop if a post traumatic stress reaction is not processed or handled in
a way that is healthy. Sometimes we to deny that it happened or we don't get
the right kind of treatment or support or follow-up, it can develop and also
PTSD is typically associated with events that would be characterized by most of
the population as being traumatic, okay, so you know, getting a B and math class
when I'm used to getting an A doesn't qualify, witnessing a horrific car
accident where there are fatalities, yeah, that's going to qualify. Okay so, you get the
sense, there's a matter of scale here that we're talking about but
you don't have to diagnose people unless you're a licensed mental health
professional so that probably doesn't matter to you anyway, I'm just trying to
give you a little bit of the context around what this thing is.
Here's what the research tells us, the most important thing that can happen to
someone who's been through a traumatic event of any kind or magnitude is what
the literature calls a debriefing. A debriefing is basically having an
opportunity to talk to somebody about it, this is enormously therapeutic and for
whatever reasons there are, I think it helps to normalize our experience when
we get to share that with another person. Let's say that someone you know or loved
has been through a traumatic experience or maybe you've been through one
yourself, this is going to work either way, having someone to talk to about it is
enormously important, if you are the listener, will you please keep in mind,
you got two ears and you got one mouth and we got to use them in that
proportion especially right now where you do a whole lot more listening than
talking. This is not the time to give advice, this is not the time to tell
people how to feel, they are never wrong about how they feel, remember this is a
normal reaction to an abnormal event so you listen listen listen and the letters
in the word listen are exactly the same as the letters in the word silent, that
may be a coincidence but we're going to use that, okay, you're going to just shut up and
listen, give them an interested listening ear, do not add your
opinions to this, it's not the time for it. Debriefing is simply a time for them
to just get the story out. Encourage them to tell it, listen with openness and
empathy that is enormously healing and it is the easiest thing to do when you
understand that that's what they need. So give them a listening ear. Now what about
after you've listened? Usually people are going to feel better just because they had
a chance to get it off their chest, okay, and to say it and something about
sharing the story psychologically allows us to do something different with it in
our own mind, it feels less overwhelming, it feels more like, okay, I can handle
this, it feels more like, okay, I'm connected to some other people, I'm not
so weird. So it helps to normalize that experience in a way that is very very
therapeutic. Now beyond that, what if you were to help them, after you've listened
okay, after you've listened, help them to understand what I already shared with
you, that this is a normal reaction to an abnormal event so the last thing you
want to do is say, "Oh man, that's weird. Why do you feel that way ?" No, you
don't want to give any impression that what they're feeling is wrong or crazy
or out of line, help them to see that yeah, whatever you're feeling is exactly
what people feel in these kinds of circumstances, you're having a normal
reaction to an abnormal event or something very therapeutic about that.
Now sometimes, it is extremely helpful for people who've been through a
traumatic experience to have some help, okay, some support. There are groups
available where other people have been through trauma, there are professional
counsellors or therapists who are trained and skilled to work with these
kinds of problems especially, especially when it elevates to the level of a
disorder and not just a post-traumatic reaction. So encouraging people, helping
to remove the stigmas around getting help, giving
them access to this video, for example, so that they can see, oh yeah, there are
other people dealing with this. That's going to help to put them in a position
where they can actually seek and obtain some of the help that is available to
them. Think about it kind of like an injury, when you experience a traumatic
event, it creates some kind of a psychological injury if you want to
think about it that way. If you have a physical injury, you're going to go down to
insta care and you're going to get some help, right? You're going to have some
professionals take some x-rays or put on a cast or a bandage of some kind that's
going to help you to heal, it's still you that's healing but you're accessing
these resources in order to do it and psychologically, it's every bit as
important, sometimes harder to access because of the stigmas around
therapy and counseling but really folks, this is just the first aid for emotional
or psychological injuries that have occurred and there is so much that can
be done in our modern methods with psychology and especially positive
psychology and cognitive behavioral psychology that will help us to put our
mind in emotive healing and then we can heal from this. There's so much that can
be done, there is so much that you can do to help as well, so remember to listen,
normalize it, it's a normal reaction to an abnormal event and encourage
people to get the help that they need. I think we can get on top of this.
Aren't you glad the main answer is just listen? Because you know you can do that, I think
that's really going to help. Share this episode with someone that you think it
would help.