- Thanks for knocking.
A SWAT team is known for busting down doors,
rescuing hostages, and resolving emergency situations.
Today, I'm going to try escaping
a SWAT team inside a small building.
Hopefully, they can't flush me out.
(intense music)
What does a SWAT team do?
- SWAT teams typically will handle the most
dangerous situations that law enforcement will deal with.
Such as hostage rescue situations,
search warrants for dope or drugs,
and they would also handle violent situations
like guys with guns or someone that's shooting at people
or other officers.
- Now that you've retired from active duty,
what do you do now?
- Now I run a company called Armitage Tactical Group,
and what it is is a firearms and tactics company,
so we train people how to use guns
and how to properly employ them in defensive situations
or in the cop world in situations
where they can handle themselves
if they do encounter an attacker.
- Most missions end with a suspect in handcuffs.
- People be putting in handcuffs
versus actually someone being shot or killed,
'cause again, that's not the number one priority.
The priority is to handle it peacefully.
- Safety first. - Safety first.
- What is second? - Safety first.
You in handcuffs second.
- For me, safety is first, friendship is second,
candy is third. - Okay, sure.
- Now, I'm going to challenge you.
(suspenseful music)
- Whoa.
- I guarantee I can escape this building in 15 minutes
without having the SWAT team put me in handcuffs.
- Okay.
- If your SWAT team is able to put me
in handcuffs in those 15 minutes,
I will wear a diaper and cross the street.
- That sounds fun.
- You can join me if you want in diaper.
- I'll join you but from a distance. Not in diaper.
- If I successfully escape the building
without the SWAT team putting me in handcuffs,
you must sniff each of my toes individually.
- That is nasty. - You don't know my toes, bro.
- I'm just guessing because I can smell you from here.
- My chest smells like cologne,
my toes smell like a mystery.
- Now the situation that you're putting us in
is not necessarily something
that would happen in the real world.
- It would never happen in the real world.
This is Mike's World.
- Since it's Mike's World,
we'll be doing things differently as well.
- I am now regretting that I did not get a dragon
to ride out of. - That's good,
because I'm scared of dragons.
- What the SWAT team didn't know
was that I spent the last two months
planning the perfect escape.
SWAT teams are heavily trained to deal with
all kinds of dangerous situations.
However, they are not trained to deal with loving situations
Therefore, today, I'm going to try escaping
a SWAT team using the power of love.
(rock music)
Clint will be leading these three currently active
SWAT members in my "fun little exercise."
Keep in mind what the consider a "fun little exercise,"
I consider "doing my best not to get my (beep) kicked
by trained professionals twice my size."
Let's meet these three SWAT members hunting me today.
- I've been in law enforcement for 19 years.
I've been a tactical operator for 15 of those years.
- People that do this job, or that work in law enforcement,
we don't like to give up, we don't like to get beat.
- After watching some of Mike's videos for research,
I thought Mike was an (beep).
I thought he was a trickster,
and I thought we were definitely gonna catch him.
- I'm glad to hear someone watches my videos. (coughs) Mom.
Now, I'll describe the building
this challenge will take place in.
We will be inside a 105 feet by 105 feet cube space
which contains three sound stages.
What are the sound stages decorated as?
I'll tell you later when I feel like it.
- We'll be entering after him,
so this is where we have to kinda strategize and work it out
- Let's put operators into this first building,
let's sweep a third operator back here
and start in this building,
and let's try and push him into that corner.
- [Mike] Clinton and I agree that I should have
a two minute headstart to hide from the SWAT team.
- Hey, Mike.
Catch you later.
- I wished them luck and head inside the challenge cube.
Once inside, I casually stroll over to sound stage B.
My two minute headstart has ended.
The SWAT team can begin mission to put me in handcuffs.
The challenge begins in three, two, one.
(intense music)
- Oh, hello there, SWAT team.
- When I saw the TV with Mike, "Oh yeah," I think,
"This is a little out of the ordinary."
You don't normally wouldn't have somebody
we're lookin' for leaving us clues in a video.
- It's about time I told you what's inside
this building's three sound stages.
I decorated the first sound stage as my evil hideout.
I set up a large TV with "play me" written on it.
If anyone follows that instruction on the connected laptop,
They will watch a video I recorded of myself
in the staircase taunting the SWAT team.
"Oh, hello there, SWAT team. How lovely of you to join me.
If you're looking for my secret hideout,
you've come to the right place.
I hope you like my decorating style."
I made this two minute taunting video move
15 times so it eats up 30 minutes.
Remember, the SWAT challenge itself is only 15 minutes long.
I wrote several clues to my whereabouts
for the SWAT team on fly swatters
and hid them around the room.
Hopefully, they get a good chuckle
out of that pun like I did.
I had several prop doors set up
with signs that read "kick me."
My goal was to have them kick down the first door
which will bring them to a second door.
When they kick down the second door,
they will arrive at the third door made of paper.
If they kick down that paper door,
they would ruin perfectly good paper.
- Clear.
- Turned out, it was just a distraction.
- [Mike] In one corner of this room,
I put a bathtub containing a life-sized dummy
which looks exactly like me.
We are identical twins, don't you think?
The answer is yes, and if you disagree with me,
you owe me five dollars.
I decorated a second sound stage as a kitchen.
Have I miniaturized myself down
into the shape of a salt and pepper shaker?
Not today, pilgrim,
this room is meant to be a giant waste of time.
- I was looking behind objects, underneath objects,
any place that Mike could've fit.
- [Mike] I had the third and final sound stage
decorated like a wedding reception.
Waiting in the sound stage are three of my accomplices.
Who the (beep) I hired to help me escape a SWAT team?
The first accomplice is my close friend Myia
who I haven't spoken to in a full year,
and I met her about a year ago.
- I like to scare the (beep) out of people.
- The second accomplice is my friend, Dwayne
who is one of the nicest people I've ever met.
- I got suspended from school once
for tripping a substitute teacher .
- The third accomplice is my friend's roommate
who I don't know much about.
- I have a shark poster above my toilet.
- [Mike] I paid them to hid in this room
and put on wedding caterer outfits.
I instruct Myia to stand in front of the door
holding a fake wedding cake.
When the challenge begins,
a SWAT member will aggressively burst in the room.
The door will hit Myia and she'll drop the wedding cake.
This should make the SWAT member feel horrible
about ruining the happiest day of someone's life.
My art department created a dessert table
with a removable top.
Underneath is a secret compartment
that matches my exact body dimensions
so I can inside it. Yes, this resembles a coffin.
You can say that I'm dead set on winning this challenge.
That's a pun and it makes me feel ooh, so good.
My cake covered coffin table has wheels
so my accomplices can push me out of the building.
After the SWAT team ruins the wedding cake,
the caterers will urgently need to make other arrangements.
Therein lies the reason for them
to exit the building with the table.
My brilliant strategy is to make the SWAT team
think they've ruined a wedding.
While they're distracted by their own feelings of guilt,
I will sneak out of the building unharmed.
- I gotta be honest, I laughed at Mike's strategy.
He was walking us through, I was like,
"Bro, this is-- this is the dumbest thing ever.
Mike, they're not gonna be distracted
by a table with cakes on it."
- [Mike] As time ticks away,
the search continues in the evil hideout.
- [Brad] We're wasting time watching this video.
I think we're wasting time
not moving through the buildings.
- [Clint] So, there's a lot of exit points
for these officers to cover.
So, it's making it pretty difficult.
- [Mike] Right after entering the building,
I head to the fake wedding reception sound stage.
I peacefully lie down in the table coffin
and have my accomplices shut the lid on me.
Will a SWAT member fall right into my trap
and ruin the most important of cakes?
- [Myia] Oh my!
- [Brad] Get on the ground! Get on the ground!
Let me see your neck!
(beep) We've got hostages here.
- [Cameraman] Straight with Ray.
- [HJ] Stay on the ground. Keep your hands up.
- Get on the ground. - What the (beep)?
- Stay down. Get on the ground.
- That be clear. That be clear.
- [Brad] We clear?
- Yeah, we're clear all the way around.
- [Clint] Okay.
- [Ray] I can identify the caterers as not being Mike,
so we continued to clear the room as in (inaudible) search.
- They busted in so aggressive
that I was legitimately terrified.
What the (beep)?
- They kept talking to each other, barkin' orders,
and we just kept on trying to keep our heads down,
and make sure we didn't even look at the table
so they wouldn't look at the table.
- I didn't expect the SWAT team to be like
"Get down on the ground! Get your hands--"
I don't know, I thought they'd be like,
"Oh, we're in the wrong place. Where we at?"
Then I cried, I was-- it was the only thing I could think of
- [Mike] Once this wedding cake-destroying
SWAT member rejoins his team,
I expected to express his feelings of guilt.
My hope is that this guilt and confusion will evolve
into a nagging fear of harassing the caterers anymore.
That should provide a safe environment for me to escape.
- Well, if he went up top and out right away,
there's nothing we do about that.
(suspenseful music)
- At this moment, even though I'm hidden
inside a cake covered coffin,
I can hear my taunting video playing in the distance.
I can't help but let a creepy smile spread across my face.
My plan is working. Time for my final spare.
- They had all the exits like being watched
until the tape played, and when they were watching the tape,
they asked everyone to come into the room,
and then at that moment, that was like the only moment
we could wheel him out, and they weren't gonna be
at the exit waiting for us.
- [Mike] My accomplices start wheeling me out
of the wedding reception area.
They slowly pushed me through the building.
In order to reach the exit, we must pass by the SWAT team.
- As we're going past, I like saw them, and was like,
"Oh my gosh, we're not gonna make it.
We're not gonna make it."
And I turned back and we're like really close.
- Will the SWAT team see the cake covered table,
get suspicious and light it on fire?
Will they feel bad for the caterers and let them go?
Will they try taking a bite of the fake cakes
and crack their teeth open?
- As we were leaving, I was thinking, "Please, let it work."
Because the way they busted through that door,
I thought they was gonna flip the whole table over,
knock us all over, I had no idea what they were gonna do.
- He's also talking about a door.
Where's that door?
- [Mike] My cake covered coffin reaches the parking lot.
My wedding-themed escape plan went off without a hitch.
Another great pun there for my punny bunnies.
Victory belongs to Mike.
- Is he under that table?
- And there he is. - It's cake time.
Now it's time for my strange reward.
I'm gonna take my shoe off,
and I'm ready for you to sniff my toes.
- I'm gonna totally hate it, but it was a bet.
- [Mike] It's ready for you. (groaning)
- Yeah, you have some hair on your toes.
And that nail's not cut kind of proper, but it's okay.
(long sighing)
That's nasty.
Actually, wasn't that bad.
That's pretty good.
- Describe what it is.
- Kinda little sock-y.
- Would anyone else like to smell my feet?
- No thank you. - No thank you.
- I'll pass.
What I think Mike is going to do to celebrate his victory
is to secretly contact Clint after this
and ask to smell his feet.
- [Mike] What're you afraid of?
- [Clint] Regarding dragons? - [Mike] Yeah.
- [Clint] I just don't like dragons.
I didn't watch Pete's Dragon the movie.
What, are you trying to psychoanalyze me?
- [Mike] I'm just curious.
- And why are we talking about dragons again?
- They're everywhere. - 'Kay.