- [Man] What's going on?
- [Woman] What should we do?
(snoring)
Should we call someone?
- (gasps) MoviePass.
- We're here for the MoviePass CEA, CBA, PB, PSA.
Caught me sleeping on the floor a little bit, um.
Well, you know, you're pulling long hours,
you care about your company as CEOs do.
My house is fine, I have a,
I have my, I have my house, still.
Good morning, America.
I'm Jonathan Floor, CEO of MoviePass,
the company revolutionizing the way you see movies.
Now, you may have heard some rumors and gossip
about us going out of business.
But the important thing is this,
MoviePass is here to stay.
It's taken us a couple tries to get it right.
I mean, who knew people would see, truly, so many movies?
I only thought they made like 20 movies a year.
I way under-guessed.
They make, truly, what, like, hundreds, right?
How many?
- Thousands?
According to our accounting department,
we were losing money on every single subscriber.
You know, it's okay.
Sometimes in business you gotta lose money to lose money.
Make money, fuck!
Changes have to be made here at MoviePass.
They have to, they just have to.
And we want to be totally transparent
with you about those changes.
I've been emailing you guys, conservatively,
three to 10 times a day for the past five weeks,
keeping you updated on what's new and exciting at MoviePass.
We've kept you informed about doing surcharges,
not doing surcharges, letting you see select movies,
only letting you see movies at select times.
And our research is showing
that none of those strategies have worked
and you didn't like them all.
But that's okay because if you try hard
and you never give up and you never stop running,
they'll never catch you.
Just because something doesn't work
doesn't mean it doesn't work.
In an effort to address these issues,
we're unveiling a total overhaul of the MoviePass system.
Now, to be clear,
nobody is being kicked off their subscription.
We won't even let you cancel your subscription,
why would we kick you off?
(manic nervous laughter)
Instead, we're unveiling a few new options
that should delight and reward our loyal
(cell phone vibrating) uh, subscribers.
One sec, guys, sorry, um.
I have to take this, I'm so sorry.
Hi, Demetri.
I'm getting the money, I'm getting it.
How's Molly, is she okay?
Oh, you put her on the phone.
Molly, hi, it's Daddy!
Are the men, the men are alright?
They're not?
Good.
Sweetie, you can't cancel your subscription (titters).
What if we gave people movies to watch in their homes?
Like if we had retail locations
- Blockbuster?
How's Blockbuster doing?
What's their market share?
Are they doing good?
Oh, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up,
how about this, you wanna see a movie, you wanna see a movie
come to our office, I'll act out the movies for you
with the new Thespian Pass movies come alive
in front of you.
I just saw Crazy Rich Asians, it was great.
Give me a heads up, give me like, just tell me
if you're gonna come like a week in advance,
and I'll do the whole thing for you.
I'll get costumes, I'll get hats.
It'll be so fun!
- Why?
I'll be all the crazy rich Asians.
With Diamond Movepass you get to fuck me,
Jonathan Floor,
CEO of MoviePass
as much as you want, as hard as you want
for two hours.
It doesn't have to be two hours.
You can go longer if you want, we can do it, just
oh, and you can also see Mission Impossible.
The original one, not the new one, we couldn't
make that happen.
How 'bout this, okay
what about a MoviePass where it's pay as you go,
it's a la carte, right?
So it's between $8, $20 depending on
where you live, what theater you're going to,
the location and you would just buy individual
MoviePasses from the theater ahead of the show.
- Don't.
Just don't.
I'm hanging by a thread.
And the thing I'm hanging over, it's bottomless.
If I drop, I never hit the bottom, do you get it?
- Okay, do you wanna buy, shit,
do you wanna buy a MoviePass?
With the new Junior Mints MoviePass,
see any movie you want as long as you buy
all the Junior Mints at the theater.
I know, that's a lot of Junior Mints right,
but here's the thing, if you don't like Junior Mints
that's fine, throw them out, they're yours to deal with
what you will.
- Oh, no no no, guys listen wait,
you're not being reasonable,
I'm gonna get the money, wait, wait wait wait!
Do you guys wanna buy a MoviePass?
No, listen, hey, no MoviePass,
rescue me and you can see any movie you want.