How do I convince my husband that our marriage is worth saving? My name is Paul
Friedman, I founded The Marriage Foundation and I'm going to help you with
this but I'm not going to help you be a manipulator. I'm not going to help you
become a salesman. I'm going to help you convince your husband the right way the
way you should have been convincing him from the moment you said, "Yes, I will
marry you." Let's hit it from a negative point of
view for a minute if we may. You can't hold something up to somebody that
is blue and convince them that it is red. You can't sell in effect a pig in a poke
that's an old expression. Your husband lives with you. He knows you more
importantly, he knows how you're behaving with him so you have to ask yourself the
question. Why does he need convincing? What's wrong with your marriage that
he's thinking this isn't worth saving? I'm going to tell you but let's go all the
way back. Let's go back to even before you got married, even before you met your
husband and you always wanted to get married maybe, or maybe you gave it some
consideration when you were in high school or college and you decided to get
married. Why? Why get married? You get married -- it's a universal answer. You get
married to be happier. You get married also to experience love but not just
ordinary love. You get married in order to experience
unconditional love. Are you? Chances are you're not. Is he?
Clearly, he's not. Why not? When he married you, he married you primarily
interestingly so that you would provide him with this part of himself that he
has difficulty connecting with the heart. Modern-day psychologists will
readily admit that women are more emotional-based but that's not what men
are seeking. Men aren't seeking emotions. Emotions are a part of the minds
mechanisms but it's not the gold. It's not the diamond, it's not what men seek.
Men seek what they received from their mother
unconditional love -- it's very simple. Women are at a tremendous advantage in
this area. You communicate with each other better, you even communicate with
men better meaning from the heart although men generally don't appreciate
it. Their mind transfers the language of love into something that is currently
sort of decadent, more of a sexual material kind of thing. But when you got
married, your husband wanted to get out of that world. He wants to, he wanted to
and he still wants to experience unconditional love. A lot of
women write to us because we have a free service. You could write to our
counselors and they say, "I do everything from my
husband. I love him with all my heart." Well, we don't challenge people but I'm
going to challenge you now not by challenging you directly, but by showing
you an analogy that really says it all. Imagine your heart as the sun. So fast, it
really is. Your heart, your soul who you essentially are which is a soul is
infinite love. Now, let's talk about a different kind of
light, a physical light, the sun. The sun is humongous. It dwarfs the entire planet.
You're nothing in comparison physically. Yeah, you could take your tiny little
hand and block the entire sun with your hand, a tiny little hand. I call this the
Eclipse effect. What do you think happens when you are critical of your husband?
That's the hand coming between your heart and his heart. What about when you
condemn him? What about you complain to him? What about when you sneer at him or
give him the cold treatment, or ask him for things that he can't do right now?
These little things block your heart so the way to convince your husband that
your marriage is worth saving is by demonstrating that you can provide in
your marriage the reason he got married. One to experience that love. Two to be
happy same as you. Now occasionally, someone
will say, "Well, that's not fair. How come I have to do
all the work?" I don't know, it's up to you. You need to decide what value your
marriage is to you but I can assure you 100% that you're not going
to be able to convince your husband that your marriage is worth saving
if you show him, if you use logic, if you badger him, if you show him up if you
explain it -- none of those things work. Many years ago, I used to be a
divorce mediator. I actually shifted my practice because I saw that people who
are coming out of counseling wanting to get a divorce didn't do anything in
counseling to enhance the prospects of their marriage to make it better. So you
might say, I rewrote the rules and that's probably why The Marriage Foundation now
is the number one provider for marriage help that works. Our success rate is so
high almost 100% but of course, we encourage people who aren't
sure to try anyway. Now, there's different stages of marriage failure and yours may
be failing just it's not really working out and then one of my books will show
you marriage how it's supposed to be and you'll be able to take it from there. But
frankly, if you're asking this question chances are that your marriage has
already gone past the tipping point. You're already sliding towards a divorce
and now, you have to take some drastic measures and for that you need to take
the course for women that The Marriage Foundation
offers. Look into it. Don't be afraid that you're being sold or "Oh, this is
a business." No, we're nonprofit. I'm in this to know people. Why not? And so, the
process that I developed and we back up the course with counselors who will
respond to your questions is designed to bring you happiness, to bring you love to
show you the way. You have to do the work, of course, but it's not that hard
compared to what you get in return and success comes pretty quickly -- that's how
you convince your husband that your marriage is worth saving and savoring.
When you know how, he will be putty in your hands. He will love you with all his
heart, mind, and soul just like he's supposed to but you need to take that
first step. I hope this was helpful for you. I really do want your marriage to be
saved. I want you to be happy. Why shouldn't you be? We're
souls essentially, it's our divine birthright to live in joy. Why shouldn't
our marriage be the happiest place on earth?
It should be and it should get better every single day so look into what we
have to offer. I hope this was helpful for you. Don't be afraid to put in a
comment -- I'll respond. Don't be afraid to share this, subscribe to more videos.
We're here for you. Blessings to you! Blessings to your husband and
blessings to your family! Don't give up. Don't give up. The biggest mistake
is just to give up. All right. We can help you.
God bless!