- Don't ask somebody to be your mentor.
Don't do it.
If you type the words,
"Hal, can you be my mentor?" you've already messed up.
(upbeat music)
Five questions you should never ever, ever, ever ask
your mentor, that's what I wanna share in this video
because having a mentor could be one of the most
incredible opportunities for you to really grow
your business as fast as possible.
Being able to have somebody in your life show you
the future, and not only walk you through what they did,
but what they would've done if they were doing it over
that has achieved your success that you're after
is probably the most powerful thing.
Most people have a challenge reaching out to mentors
because they don't know what to ask,
they don't know what to say,
they don't wanna waste their time.
That's probably the biggest fear, is what's in it
for the mentor?
Why would they have this conversation?
Those are all legitimate fears, but I learned this lesson
when I first reached out to my three mentors.
I was scared.
One of my mentors looked like a grumpy old man.
Turns out, he's one of the sweetest people in the world.
I still tell that story 'cause it makes me giggle.
The other ones were just ridiculously accomplished,
had built multi, 10, 100 million dollar companies,
and I had that imposter syndrome.
Why would they take this meeting?
But you know what, turned out all three of them responded
right away to cold emails, they all took the meetings,
I honored their time.
Not only did I listen attentively, I took notes,
I followed up after two weeks,
and those people literally shaped my life.
I believe that success has 100 fathers,
and in my world, those three plus the mentors that have come
since then are people that have definitely guided
my career and my life.
Here's the thing, there are certain things
you should never ask a mentor, and I wanna walk you
through these five because you might be doing them today,
and you might have the opportunity to backtrack
and not do it again in the future.
Number one is never ask the question.
You can ask,
"Hey, how did you get started in your business?"
Totally legit origin story, it's fun,
the mentor would love to share that story.
You wanna be careful, though,
if you're trying to get advice, you never say,
"How did you do that?" because there's a difference
between "Hey, how did you do that?" versus,
"How would you do it today?" and it's a subtlety,
but it's a game changer.
I was at a dinner yesterday and one of the entrepreneurs
asked the other season entrepreneur,
"Hey, how did you get started?" 'cause I knew he was
looking for advice on how to get started,
and the person was gonna start answering that question.
I stopped him, I said, "Just one sec.
"Are you looking for advice on how to get started?"
Yes. Alright.
Reframe the question to, "How would you get started today?"
He did, and you could just see the whole energy change.
Instead of this struggle of all the mistakes they made
and how they overcame it, it was a very clear,
strategic, tactical plan.
Number one, never ask, if you're looking for advice,
how they did it.
Ask, instead, how would you do it today?
Number two is never ask for a step-by-step road map.
These mentors are very accomplished,
they're focused on big thinking.
They don't wanna sit there and try to give you
A, B, and C.
It's not paint-by-number.
Business is an art, it is creative.
What worked for them may not work for you,
and it's dangerous for you to ask for that,
and it's frustrating as a mentor to try to provide that
because that's too much pressure.
Every person is different.
They have different skills, different resources
in their business, different visions for their companies.
What you wanna ask, instead, is when you have those
big challenges.
I always say mentors are the people you turn to
instead of your parents.
When you have those big things going on in your life,
those are the questions you wanna ask your mentor,
not for a step-by-step road map.
Number three is you never wanna ask your mentors for money.
Here's why. It changes the relationship.
The way I look at it is you can ask for money.
If you're raising money from investors,
and I've done that lots, you can get investors
that provide mentorship.
Totally cool because the initial conversation
was around investment.
Investment to mentorship is cool.
Mentorship to investment, not cool.
They've already invested their time, their energy,
their strategies with you.
Don't push the limit unless, again, this is the caveat,
unless they offer and they want to, but even then,
if you have other options, I would not do that
because you don't want to complicate the relationship.
Number four is for a handout.
That could be for asking for referrals,
or a resource, or an introduction, or whatever it is.
Again, the mentor's already put their time,
their energy in meeting with you and giving you strategies.
Again, unless they offer, don't ask for a handout.
That's such a critical component.
Number five is to become a customer,
no different than the financial side.
You want that relationship to be without bias.
What I love about mentors is they're not investors,
they're not your partner in life,
they're not part of the team, so their advice
comes unbiased and they're really saying,
"If it was me, this is the way I would look at it."
That is different than a co-founder, your wife,
or your husband, or your partner, or a team member,
or an advisor, or the bank, or anybody else,
your lawyer even.
They all have an interest in some kind of financial
economical success in your business,
so it's gonna be biased, whereas the mentor,
it's pretty much like, here's the information,
do what you want.
Those are the five key areas.
Number one, you wanna make sure that you never ask them
what they did if you're looking for tactical advice.
You wanna ask them what would they do today.
Number two, you wanna never ask them for money
because money changes the conversation.
You never wanna ask for a step-by-step road map.
You never wanna ask them to become a customer,
and you never wanna ask them for a handout.
Now, here's what I want to do.
I wanna ask you to leave a comment and honor your mentor.
One of my rules when you have a mentor is any chance you get
that somebody says, "Hey, how did you get here?"
and you have the opportunity to tell that story,
to honor them, I think it's your responsibility.
So I want you to leave me a comment and let me know
the story of the person that mentored you,
that connected with you, that believed in you
when you didn't believe in yourself.
For me, it was Ken, Jerry, and Tom.
I want you guys to make sure that you honor those people.
I've shared my story many times with those mentors,
but I wanna hear from you below in the comments.
As per usual, I wanna challenge you to live a bigger life
and a bigger business, and I'll see you next Monday.
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I'll see you next week.