It may or may not surprise you to hear that The Simpsonshas a long history of deaths.Throughout
the 32 seasons of The Simpsons, variouspeople have died in various brutalways.
But which of these deaths were the most gruesomeof them all?
I’m Kyle with WickedBinge and this is The SimpsonsDeaths: Gruesome to MostGruesome.
We do have a few small rules regarding this list, simply put this list will NOT include
any Treehouse of Horrors Death because we want
to shine a light on the mainline deaths.
That said, let us know if we should cover the deaths in Treehouse of Horrors in a future
episode.
Secondly, while this list does not include Treehouse of Horrors, it will include deaths
from non-canon sources like I, Carumbus.
Also, we’re not including deaths that fully happen offscreen, we need to see some of the
action.
And of course, we’re not including animal deaths, but that one’s pretty obvious
we think.
We’re also disregarding future episodes for now, because they’re similar in
scope and stature to Treehouse of Horrors.
Oh, and we’re sure we’ve missed a few, so
do feel free to tell us your favorites.
The first section on our list is The Heart Attacks, characters who have died
because their heart quit out on them.
At the very bottom of our list is Cornelius Chapman.
Cornelius is the oldest man in Springfield who was going to gain an award
for being the oldest man.
When he went to accept the award he got kissed on the cheek
by pop sensation Brittney Spears.
This kiss must have set something off because his
heart stopped and he died live on stage, handing the award off to Monty Burns.
Moving on to second from the bottom, we have Max The Ice Cream Man.
Max is an ice cream man that Homer chased after, when Homer
pays for his ice cream he pays with ahundred dollar bill.
After paying with the hundred dollar bill, Max suffers a fatal heart
attack trying to hand Homer change.
Max falls below Cornelius because firstly he was
not the oldest man in Springfield.
He also falls next because he died doing menial labor
and not after being kissed on the cheek by a pop icon.
Rolling into our next spot is Albert, the leader of the overweight activist group.
Albert was a 23-year-old overweight man confined
to a mobility scooter.
Albert tries to stand up from his mobility scooter which he succeeds
in.
However, after standing up he died of a massive heart attack and was then cremated.
Albert is the youngest of our characters to die from a heart attack and
lands here because of the circumstances that lead to his heart attack.
His lifestyle led to his death, and he might have been fine if he
just went to the gym.
Our final person to die from a heart attack is fan-favorite Fat Tony.
Fat Tony was a mobster who appeared quite often throughout
the show and was one of the most recognizable secondary characters in the show.
The episode he dies in is “Donnie Fatso” where Homer goes undercover in his
gang as a plant by the FBI.
Tony dies of cardiac arrest from a mix of overeating and
the stress of being betrayed by Homer, dying in his arms.
Tony lands as the most gruesome of our Heart Attack-related deaths
because unlike the others, his death was caused by betrayal, mostly.
The next section on our list is Poison Lovers, people who died because of
Poison, whether that be food poisoning or cyanide.
The poison section starts with Red Barclay.
Red was a trucker who had a contest with Homer to see who could eat the Sir Loin-a-lot,
a sixteen-pound steak.
Red not only finishes the steak and keeps his title, but
he is only the second person to complete this massive challenge.
However, after successfully eating the steak, Doctor Hibbert
declares him dead of “beef poisoning”.
But hey, at least he died doing what he loved, eating, which is okay, right?
Next on our list is Frankie The Health Inspector.
Frankie was a health inspector and a good friend of Moe who fudged his reports
of his friend’s tavern.
Frankie suddenly dies after ingesting one of Moe’s famous pickled
eggs, so we assume this means food poisoning.
Frankie ranks below Red because he died from rotten food instead of eating
too much of a good thing like the trucker who ranks above him.
Stepping into our next spot is Emperor Burns’s Taster from “I, Carumbus”.
Emperor Burns’s Taster, who we will just refer to
as Smithers, was exactly what his name implies.
Smithers was the personal taster for Emperor Burns and tested each of his meals anddrinks
for poison.
Smithers’s job means he was always in harm's way and he ingested a
poison placed by Majora.
The poison seemed to be pretty bad too since he choked to
death before falling over and activated almost immediately.
Because this was his job though, he ranks lower than the following
poisonings.
The first group death on this list: The Calabresi Gang is up next.
The Calabresi Gang was the rival gang to Fat Tony and called
Tony and his gang weak because Michael wanted to get into cooking.
The Calabresi Gang dies when Michael invites them to
dinner and poisons all of their food under the pretense that they would get all of Fat
Tony’s territories.
Although their poison doesn’t seem as potent as the previous, they
weren’t hired to test food for poison.
Does this technically count as food poisoning?
Next on our list is the second “I, Carumbus” poisoning death, Majora.
Majora was the wife of Obeseus and the daughter of an arena
owner.
Majora vied for power, causing the deaths of two previous emperors and putting
her son, Bartigula in charge.
Much like the taster she had poisoned years prior, commits
suicide by ingesting an unknown poisonous substance after Obeseus and Bartigula
kill each other.
It might be the same poison that she gave Smithers, but it can’t
be said.
She ranks here because she wasn’t secretly poisoned, but took it herself to
take her own life, which definitely puts her lower
on the list than some of the others.
We were going to call this next category “The Fallers” like usual…
But there is only one death in this category, so let’s
call it something different: Death by T-Shirt Gun.
There’s only one falling-based death we caught in The Simpsons, and it’s one of
the most iconic, the demise of Maude Flanders.
Maude was the recurring wife of next-door neighborino Ned Flanders who was killed due
to problems with her voice actress.
During a day out at the Springfield Speedway, T-shirts were being fired from cannons
into the stands and Homer really wanted one.
Homer bent over at the last moment to pick up a bobby pin and Maude is hit by a
bunch of bundled-up t-shirts.
This causes her to trip backward and fall over the edge, supposedly
dying on impact and not having any quick resuscitation, once again thanks to
Homer.
When people mention Simpson Deaths, this is always one that comes to mind,
because it’s definitely iconic for The Simpsons.
The next category is pretty recognizable to Simpsons fans: Strangled Out.
People who died via asphyxiation from another person’s
hands.This is another single death category, and the honor of this death goes to Bartigula
the Jerk.
Bartigula was the emperor of Rome put in place by his mother Majora, and was
the cause of plenty of death thanks to his war on the sea god Neptune.
Bartigula went crazy with power and called himself a god.
When his father Obeseus made fun of him he got bloodthirsty and went to fight his
dad.
During the fight Obeseus managed to strangle him to death, cutting off any airflow
and killing him by asphyxiation.
It makes sense that a version of Bart would eventually
go out this way.
The next category is similar to Strangulation…
This category is Drowned Out.
People who died from drowning in a lot of liquid, usually water.
Starting off our Drowning category is Professor Huntington.
Huntington was a professor at Swigmore University and Moe’s
former professor who helped Moe get back into bartending.
It is revealed that he has cancer and after helping Moe get his groove
back he walks into the lake.
He commits suicide by drowning in a very cinematic way,
but it is definitely a pretty bad way to go out.
The other very sad drowning death is the recognizable band Green Day who die in The
Simpsons Movie.
Green Day is a punk rock band that is led by lead singer Billie Joe
Armstrong who was playing a concert in Springfield.
The group was playing on a barge on Lake Springfield which started to eat through
their barge.
After the Lake ate through their barge, it flipped over and the three
band members fell into the water and drowned.
Their deaths are reminiscent of the tale of the band aboard the Titanic who continued
to play as the boat sank.
This ranks lower than Professor Huntington because they didn’t
drown of their own volition unlike him.
Next are the Non-Romantic Crushes.
People being crushed by something usually larger than themselves.
To start up this section is the Panicky Man from The Simpsons Movie.
The Panicky Man appears as The Dome is slowly descended
upon the town of Springfield trying to decide between staying in Springfield or going
free.
He jumps between the two places but is eventually crushed by the dome and
killed when he can’t decide.
Indecision can truly be a fatal mistake as he easily shows
us.
Next on our list is Emperor Burns from “I, Carumbus”.
Emperor Burns was the political son of the previous emperor and had him killed,
causing his ascent to the throne.
He had at least one attempt on his life from
Majora, which caused the poisoning of his taster, Smithers.
While Smithers was dying from the poison he had ingested he knocked
over a pillar which fell over and crushed the emperor.
It can be assumed he died frombeing crushed by the pillar but the reason he ranks below
the Panicky Man is what happens afterward.
When he is crushed he coughs up his brain somehow and it falls
down the stairs in front of a lion who eats it.
This brain expulsion is what really takes the
cake for Emperor Burns and places him above the Panicky Man.
But, now we move onto the final category, The Cruelest Deaths.
Filled with plenty of intriguing ways to die.
These ones are quite gruesome.
The least gruesome death in this category goes to Emperor Quimby from “I,
Carumbus”.
Quimby denied Obeseus’s plea to be a senator and angry from this
situation he is manipulated by Soon-to-be Emperor Burns to kill Quimby.
So Obeseus snuck into his private vomitorium and stabbed
him repeatedly, leaving him to bleed out on the ground.
While his death is a reference to the murder of Julius Caesar, his death
was mostly due to bleeding which makes it the weakest one in this category.
Following the Emperor is his murderer, this is the death of Obeseus.
Obeseus was a slave gladiator back in Ancient Rome who was
eventually freed and became a clothes washer.
Obeseus’s wife Majora utilized him to gain power, moving up by murdering the
emperor.
Well, after his son Bartigula became emperor of Rome, the two of them fight
over Bartigula calling himself a god.
Well, even though he manages to kill Bartigula via
strangulation he was stabbed in the throat by his son.
The stab in the throat takes a moment to kill him which leaves him in intense
agony before his death, which places him slightly higher than Quimby.
While stabbing is pretty bad, Carl “Alfalfa” Switzer died in a very disturbing way.
Carl plays the original Alfalfa for the Little
Rascals alongside Moe who played “Stinky”.
Carl stole Moe’s bit by looking into a tailpipe
and getting soot all over his face.
This caused Moe to tackle him down and beat him to death
in front of everyone.
The reason this ranks lower than Obeseus is that this style
of beating is much more personal than the neck stab.
Moe got lucky that Carl was only an orphan owned by the studio and he
didn’t get in any legal trouble for it.
Following up is the next group on our list The Calabresi’s Goons.
This was a group of mobsters who worked for the Calabresi Gang
and against Fat Tony’s Gang.
They died because of a car bomb planted by Fat Tony
and his gang, incinerating them, which is a
terrible way to go.
But in our opinion, Frank Grimes outclasses the previous group pretty handily.
Frank Grimes was the character with the most excruciating
backstory in the history of The Simpsons.
Frank was eventually hired by Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and got tomeet Homer,
someone who didn’t work very hard to get where he is.
He tries his best to try and humiliate Homer but everything he
did has failed.
By the end of the episode, he had gone crazy with all the stuff Homer had
accomplished and started acting like Homer.
This causes him to grab exposed power lines without wearing gloves, causing
him to be electrocuted to death.
This death is not only gruesome but also iconic for how
shocking it was, pun very much intended.
Moving onto someone who knows what he is, Exploding Head Man ranks next.
The Exploding Head Man is a very simple character,
he is a man who’s head exploded due to the loud low note from the THX intro.
This man’s death ranks below Frank Grimes because his whole head explodes, and while
it’s not bloody, it’s still kind of terrifying.
Following him is another simple character, The Sideshow Bob Gladiator from “I,
Carumbus”.
This Gladiator appears during a montage of other Gladiators that Obeseus
fought against and killed.
However, this gladiator is really the only one to fully die on
screen during this montage.
During his fight with this Gladiator, Obeseus utilized the
Gladiator’s sword stuck in his shield and sliced upwards which split him in half.
This is very obviously a gruesome way to go out, because
bifurcation is defintely not fun.
But, this next death may surprise some, it’s Viktor.
Viktor was a Ukranian Mob Boss who was hunting down Homer’s new friend
Wayne Slater for accidentally killing his wife.
He kidnapped Homer to bring Wayne to him so that he could kill him and get his
revenge on him.
However, Wayne throws a shard of glass into his throat, causing him to
choke to death on his own blood and the glass shard.
The reason this ranks below the bifurcation is simple.
The bifurcation is quick, while this death not only takes a while, but
is much more painful due to taking longer.
Speaking of long painful deaths, next up is Wolfus Rein from “I, Carumbus”.
Rein was the first Gladiator that Obeseus fought after
he was sold into slavery by his father.
Obeseus was put into the ring as a sacrifice to show off the intense strength of this
powerful gladiator and was expected full well to be destroyed.
Well Obeseus didn’t let that happen, knocking him to the ground and
dragging him across the ground.
Well, dragging Wolfus across the ground for as long
as he did, ground down his face to the skull, leaving him without a face and leaving
a trail of blood behind him.
This one may not be as long and painful but it definitely makes us cringe thinking about
it, Shary Bobbins ranks next on our list.
Shary Bobbins is a caricature of Mary Poppins from the book and film series of the same
name.
Shary was a nanny for the Simpsons family to help Homer and Marge deal with the
children due to Marge losing her hair from stress.
After a long line of songs and other helpful actions that were a lot of fun for theSimpson
children she has to leave.
Well, when she starts to leave, she flies away using
her magic umbrella and it seems like she may back in the future.
However, in the background as the family is chatting she flies
away and gets sucked into a jet engine.
Now, we don’t see any blood, unlike some of the previous entrants on this list, but
the thought of being sucked into a jet engine
makes up for it, which is why she ranks here on our list.
But the most gruesome death in the series in our opinion, may not be the most bloody
but it is definelty the most terrifying to think about.
The most gruesome death goes to The Roman Senate from “I, Carumbus”.
The Roman Senate is made up of a variety of popular secondary characters from the Simpsons.
Among the list of Senators, Krusty The Clown, Dr. Hibbert, Superintendent Chalmers
and Sideshow Mel.
When Bartigula became emperor and he started losing his war
against Poseddien he asked his soldiers to “dissolve the senate”.
Well, he dissolved the Senate alright, he had his soldiers dump
over a vat of acid onto the senate, killing every one, except for his father, who wasn’t
there at the time.
This acid dissolves them physically, leaving some as skeletal remains
and some as goo instead.
This is by far worse than the others, although it’s not
particularly bloody.
But what do you think?
Which Simpsons death is truly the most gruesome?
Let us know in the comment section below.
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