Hey everybody. Happy Wednesday.
And since it's Wednesday I'm on the website, and I'm on youtube. So if you asked your questions below my video
yesterday or on the website katimorton.com then I found them, and I'm going to answer them.
And thanks for all of you who tuned in when I was on tv last night.
I was very nervous. You could tell at the beginning, I was like, ehh. It's kind of scary, and it was live which was
even more scary. But I think that it went okay. I mean, I dunno, I'm not a tv person.
Although, it's funny because I do video stuff all the time. But that's to you and this was like to people I don't know.
So anyway, but I had a really good time, everybody was really nice.
And, not that I think that they are going to watch or anything, but thanks to the Dr Drew show for being so hospitable
and so wonderful to Sean and I as we kind of navigated those waters. And they got my hair nice and big, the lady was really nice.
So anyway. It was a lot of fun.
And thanks for all of you who tuned in and gave me, you know, all of your best luck wishes and stuff like that.
Because it's kind of scary, and they're pretty like, they holler back and forth kind of, and you know I'm not really a yeller.
But I guess I'm going to have to get into it if I want to, you know, do that again.
So anyway. I have four questions and I have a journal topic at the end. So without further adieu.
Question number one: 'If someone is morbidly obese and starves themselves to lose weight, is it really something that needs treatment?'
'I understand that anorexia is not safe even if you are overweight. But neither is obesity, and in the long run
wouldn't the person be better off months down the road skinny with an eating disorder anorexia instead of overweight with an eating disorder binge eating?'
So wrong.
Now the thing that people forget is that being obese and being underweight are, I honestly actually believe that they,
there was a study that came out that used to say that they were the same detriment to your body, they harm you just the same.
But now someone came out and actually said that being underweight is actually worse for you than being overweight.
But everybody's going to have their opinion.
But either way, it's both terrible for your body.
And starving yourself is never good, it is never healthy.
And it actually, the thing that people forget is that when we stop eating and we starve ourselves our body eats different things to keep us alive.
Obviously we may, we are going to lose weight. But it also goes into starvation mode where it holds onto like fat
because it thinks that fat is an energy source and it doesn't want to let go of it.
And it will eat at our muscle because it will use that for energy as well. And our heart is a muscle, and that's not healthy.
And also your hair will fall out and your complexion will go to shit and our skin gets really dry and wrinkly.
And we really age our body by doing that.
And so, if you haven't watched my anorexia video and like five facts I think it is you don't know about it and what it does to your body.
It's important to recognise that and being overweight and being obese is always also very unhealthy.
High blood pressure, diabetes, the, it's just not good.
We're supposed to have things in moderation. Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full.
And to work on not using food as a way to cope, and actually talking about how we feel.
So no, it's actually, no matter what it is if you are overeating or under eating it's bad both ways.
It's just bad. We've got treat our bodies well because we only have one.
Right. And we have to love on our bodies. Okay.
Question number two: 'My therapist thinks that maybe I need medication, I understand that he's a professional and stuff'
'but I feel like if I started taking medication then that would be the point of losing control. And I don't know what to do. Any advice?'
I found this very interesting because she used the term losing control.
And sometime, I tell my client, because they'll say this to me like 'I feel like everything is out of control, ahh'
And sometimes I feel like saying, alright I say to them all the time is, 'Sometimes we have to lose control in order to gain it back in a healthy way.'
Because often times when we struggle with an eating disorder, we struggle with self harm, even anxiety and depression.
We can really have a issue with control.
And things in our life, it often, a lot of times growing up it felt very out of our control. Because it was, because we were usually young, right.
Like if we had a alcoholic parent or an abusive parent. We had no control over that.
And so what would we control? Ourselves, our body, our food, our whatever it is. Right.
And it would be internalised, all those feelings that we would rather say that 'But that, I don't like that, and stop and you're bad, and why are you drinking again'
Everything that felt out of control that we couldn't talk about, we stuffed it deep and then it comes out in other ways.
And so, when we start getting better and we start working on recovery and we start letting go of that a little,
it's really scary and it can make us feel like everything is out of control again.
And it has caused some of my clients to have like flashbacks, or almost, then they'll have panic attacks,
and things like that that will come up to almost be reliving the experience. Just because it is that same sensation of it being out of control.
So I would encourage you, if you have a treatment team that you trust, which first of all that's very important.
Having a treatment team that you trust, and that you know has your best interests in mind.
Express to them your concerns. Express to them what you need and what you're hoping to get out of it.
And then let them do their jobs.
Because we love you, we want to take care of you, we want to make sure that you are doing okay.
So as long as you trust in that, we have to submit to the process to some extent.
And I know that it's scary but it can really give us the best outcome. Okay.
Question number three: 'Hey Kati, you did awesome last night.'
Thanks.
'Wish they'd let you talk more.'
Oh, it's, that's the way that it's supposed to be. That's what the producer told me, like 'they're going to try and talk over you and get in there.'
I just, I don't really get in there. But I tried. And I'll do better, it's kind of fun to talk topics and stuff. Okay.
'My question is, what is the best part of what you do, what is the hardest, where do you see yourself in five years,'
'something a little more fun but totally has me curious. Again congrats on last night and love love love your videos.'
What's the best part of what I do.
I think it's the growth factor, watching my clients grow. Like in their lives, in their love lives, in their relationships,
in their relationship with themselves. I have some clients who keep touch with me via email sometimes, and it's great,
they'll send photos, they'll tell something that they did that they thought they'd never do.
I have patients who thought that they couldn't have children and then they end up having a baby.
And it's very, the healing of it and the growth through them and through their lives is what makes my job worth it.
And that's what I love, is seeing people do great things, and be who I knew they were. I get excited.
What's the hardest.
Watching people suffer, knowing that I can't help them if they won't help themselves.
It took me a long time to learn that sometimes when clients aren't ready to get better, when people don't want to get better.
Not even just eating disorders, where I have had clients pass away. Not even just that part, it can be just depression,
I have a suicidal patient or someone that I have to hospitalise, and it's hard seeing the pain in their eyes,
and knowing what they are going through. But also knowing that they are not ready to let it go yet.
And they are not ready to let me help. Or let anyone help.
And so, often times that's the hardest for me. Just to allow them to go.
Because I can't, I mean I'm not God, I can't force things to change. And I can't force them to be ready.
So, like, allowing them their time for their process is the hardest for me.
Where do I see myself in five years.
Hopefully, still doing this obviously, but I'd like to take it to another level where maybe I give talks to other therapists,
who are hoping to get into this realm, and I can do, like, we call them continued education hours or continued education
units and I would love to teach people how to work with eating disorder patients and DBT therapy and also utilising social media for the positive.
And sharing mental health information.
So that's kind of where I see, maybe writing books that I actually publish, not just my free workbooks but published books and things like that would be really cool too.
So those are things that are in my global goal list.
And so hopefully I will get there.
Now question number four: 'I usually have quick things and casual sex,'
'it's easier no strings attached. I fell for a really cool guy and we started to date not and are serious. And I have given a lot of time to make sure that I am actually ready.'
'Personally I thought that I was ready, but I keep on using this busy excuse not to see him. Do you have any advise regarding commitment and opening up?'
This can be really hard for those of us who have used sex in the past as a like 'It doesn't mean anything', and 'Whatever',
and it's part, a lot of times, and I don't know this person's situation.
But many of my bulimic patients or bipolar patients struggle with this because often times when we deal with like,
control and release and control and release, and we do that. I find that my patients do that with sex as well.
And it's like a 'I don't have to do it, okay I'm going to do it, it's my choice and I don't really care, my body is just, it doesn't even matter.'
And we get in that mindset where we tell ourself that it's not really important. But then when we decide that maybe
we want to work on things, and we don't want to do that, and we want to actually be in a relationship.
Then we kind of get scared right, because it's a totally different feeling to just have sex with someone versus
make love to someone. And that's a very big distinction, because sex could be just sex for people but
making love is an intimate experience.
So how do we open up, we take our time. We talk to them. If they are actually worth it, which I remember hearing this
as a teen, my mom saying like, 'Someone who doesn't think that you are worth the wait, isn't worth the time.'
Or something.
And it never really sunk in to me until I got older because I realised that if a guy or a girl really cares about you,
they will be willing to talk with you about it, make sure that you are ready, they want to experience to be great for both of you.
And if they are not willing, than better we know now and just, you know.
As much as we want to hang on to relationships and think that things will change and get better.
Early on in the relationship, if things are shitty right away, that's a red flag. And usually that means that we are better off finding someone who recognises our worth.
Because you are all worth it. And you are all worth the wait.
So I would try to communicate and be honest. I would express what used to happen in the past,
and how you don't want that to be the same. And express how much you care.
Maybe you could work together on it. Because it has to be something that you do together in a way that feels good for both of you.
So you want to talk it out. That's the best way to move forward I think. Okay.
Now my journal topic, is a quote from Mia Angelo and I got this a while ago because her death recently. I think it was about two weeks ago now.
And so I think this is a great quote, and this is something that we can all take time to think about. Is,
'Having courage does not mean that we are unafraid. Having courage and showing courage means that we face our fears and we are able to say that I have fallen, but I will get up.'
And I think that is really powerful.
So just take some times to think about the things that you are afraid of or that you have done even though you were afraid. And how it felt.
Let's reflect on both.
Because sometimes we haven't done those things, right, we're so scared we are kind of paralysed.
And sometimes we have done them.
So I want you to reflect on those things, and how it felt.
Because usually it's so freeing and liberating once we have done those things we are scared of.
Like going on television, I never thought that I would go on television, and I was honestly my heart was like 'Boom, boom, boom, boom.'
I was terrified.
But then afterwards I thought 'I did it!' And it wasn't terrible and I didn't ruin the show like I anticipated possibly doing.
I felt really good about it, I was like 'Look I did it!'
So think about those things, and pat yourself on the back for all that hard work. And all that pushing through that you did.
Because you may fall down, but you will get up.
I love you all, see you on tomorrow, I will be on twitter so ask your questions there using the #KatiFAQ
Bye!
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