• From getting stuck in a cat flap to bathing in cheese, the Planet Dolan crew re-enact
some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the dumbest things we’ve done while
drunk.
I’m Melissa and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by KaptainCakd Zaraganba
On his seventh birthday, Zaraganba’s grandparents were on the porch with ice-cold beers.
When his grandma went to the bathroom, and when his grandpa wasn’t looking, Zaraganba
grabbed his grandma’s beer and ran back into the house.
He chugged the entire bottle, thinking it was going to make him do funny things because
he was just starting to learn about alcohol.
Well, he was right – he tumbled down thirteen steps, giving himself a concussion.
When he woke up three hours later, he was lying in bed with his mom standing next to
him.
She was checking his vitals, his breathing, his heart rate, his hearing and, of course,
she was yelling at him.
She told Zaraganba that, apparently, while he was drunk he went into the road bare-ass
naked with a pan.
He banged the pan on the sidewalk while yelling, “The chickens are coming!
The chickens are gonna fuck all of you!”
He didn’t remember any of it, and was grounded for two months.
Number 9 was submitted by Agent_Wolff Captain
When Captain lived in Eastern Europe, he got completely hammered when he went out drinking
with some friends.
Earlier, he brewed some really strong shit called “hooch” that he put in a gallon
jug and chugged.
Everything else was a blur, but his friend told him that he stole a goat, broke into
his ex-s place, and left it there.
His friend also mentioned that Captain filled a bathtub with a few gallons of nacho cheese,
sat in it, and said that he was a human nacho.
The next day, Captain woke up with a horrible hangover and felt miserable for the entire
day.
Number 8 was submitted by FearingKittyKat Spincess
One time, Spincess drank whiskey for the first time and got drunk.
She had to poop, so she walked outside, stripped off all her clothes, and shit on the front
lawn.
Her parents had to walk her inside and give her a shower while her boyfriend, Tolop, waited
outside.
In the morning, he walked into the room and told Spincess that she was a very funny drunk.
Number 7 was submitted by TheAlmightySOSOGE Spinalpalm
Spinalpalm and his friends celebrated his birthday by going to a local bar, but were
kicked out because the bartender figured out that Spinalpalm and his friends were underage.
So, they went to a store where they paid a guy 100 dollars to buy them five bottles of
whiskey and five bottles of wine.
While they were walking home, Spinalpalm and his friends began to drink.
By the time they walked onto their street, they drank almost all the bottles.
Spinalpalm was walking on all fours when he saw his house.
He tried to unlock the door, but his key didn’t fit.
He then saw a cat flap and thought, “When did I get a cat?”
Figuring it would be a good idea to crawl through the cat flap, Spinalpalm crawled through
it but got stuck midway.
He cried for help, then saw a couple storming down the stairs.
“Mom, dad?
Is that you?” he asked.
It wasn’t his parents, and needless to say, Spinalpalm and his friends stayed overnight
at the police station.
Number 6 was submitted by CheckoutALEKM13onYT Legna
One time, Legna and his friends went to a bar where they drank some whiskey.
He had five and was pretty hammered, so he went to the transgender bathroom to take a
whiz.
He went inside and saw someone who looked like a woman, so he slapped her ass.
It turned out to be a guy, who immediately maced him.
Legna ran out of the bathroom and went into another, where he used a urinal.
The problem was, he had run into the women’s’ bathroom.
He was so drunk that he was pissing in the sink, thinking it was a urinal.
A woman saw him and slapped him.
Legna fought back, thinking the woman was a man.
He tackled her, but then security was called.
Before leaving, Legna was let off with a warning.
Number 5 was submitted by Mike1292 Time Wanderer
When he was nine, Time Wanderer and his friends were home alone.
They found a bottle of vodka in his dad’s liquor cabinet.
Being the dumbasses they were, they drank the entire bottle.
Beyond hammered, they decided to try to ride the ceiling fan like a carnival ride.
So, one of Time Wanderer’s friends lifted him up onto one of the fan blades, but the
fan fell and Time Wanderer broke his leg.
When his parents got home, they took him straight to the hospital, where he had to get a cast.
He was also grounded for two weeks.
Number 4 was submitted by Randomness_YTT7 MKyleM
When he was at a party, MKyleM got so drunk that he wrecked the house where the party
was being held.
As he wrecked the house, he found a mushroom and picked it up.
He gave it to a midget and said, “Grow, Mario, grow!”
Shortly after, he passed out on the dancefloor but woke up in the attic.
MKyleM only knows what happened that night because, after he got home, his friend, Grgak,
told him what happened.
Number 3 was submitted by CaptainBumpy Doopie
Just out of high school, Doopie went to a friend’s party in her family’s fourth
floor condo.
Her parents were away, so the booze was plentiful.
At one point during the party, a drunk Doopie went outside and wandered around the complex
to the side with the balconies.
She thought it would be cool to climb back up using the railings of the balconies and
surprise everyone by entering through the balcony doors.
Well, Doopie made it, and everyone was impressed.
Now, whenever she drives by those condos, she shudders to think how close to death she
came that night.
Number 2 was submitted by PokerCraft Pringle
Pringle was at a New Year’s Eve party at his friend’s house.
He made a bet with his friends that he couldn’t drink ten shots of vodka in a minute.
But, Pringle actually did it.
He then thought he had superpowers because he managed to drink ten vodka shots.
So, he dressed up like Superman and jumped out the window.
Pringle was very lucky that he only broke his arm because he fell onto concrete.
He never drank that
much again.
Number 1 – What was the stupidest thing I’ve done while drunk?