- [Announcer] Welcome back to the Taniwha Den,
where entrepreneurs pitch new ideas
in the hopes of hitting the big time.
And now, a new challenger enters the den, Captain Cook.
- Yes, I'm the new kid on the block
but I feel I've got some very good offers here,
and I can't wait to face the Taniwha.
Taniwha, thank you so much for this opportunity.
- Kia ora
- I've got some great ideas for you
that I think you will love.
Starting with civilization.
(sighs)
Oh, this is so big back in Britain, let me tell you.
It's all the rage.
- Yeah look, Hemi?
- It's James.
- Hemi.
Now we appreciate the big trip
getting out here and everything
but we've already got civilization
so I think it's going to be a no from all of us.
- Yeah, it's definitely a no.
- Yeah, pretty much, yeah.
- Okay, no that's fine because I've got loads of ideas.
How about the second one?
Religion, slash, God.
- Wait, just the one God?
- Yes, just this guy.
- And his name is God?
- Yes and he's quite the doozy.
(laughs)
- I think that's a pass.
- No, that's cool, that's cool.
I've got plenty of other ideas.
How 'bout sailing?
You know, utilizing the wind
and traversing great distances?
- Yeah, got it.
How do you think we got here?
- What about the class system?
Very good me, my friends love it back in Britain.
- No thanks.
- Muskets, tobacco, and alcohol.
- Wait, what do those things do?
- Kill you at various speeds.
- Oh, hard pass.
- What about ovens?
Oh, yes, let's cook that up!
Yes, delicious!
- Did you do any market research?
- Sorry, again.
That will be a no from us.
- Yeah, well, I do know something that you
definitely do not have.
Come out.
Come this way little friend.
My little friendy.
Presenting, his majesty the King!
- Oh, is that what that was?
- Oh thank God.
I thought it was a ghost.
- Yeah, this is awkward.
Thank you for standing there so quietly
but I think it's going to be a no.
- Right, well, fair enough.
- Good work though.
- Thank you.
- Some of the best standing I've ever seen.
- Buh bye!
(claps)
- Okay, well I don't know.
Potatoes, yum, delicious.
Hammer and nails.
Oh fix my house.
I don't know.
God, bread, bread.
Will bread do?
Toast, delicious.
- Well, actually those last three
I can actually get behind.
- I'm interested too.
Those potatoes sound yummy.
Why didn't you lead with that?
- Really?
- Look, those last three do sound quite interesting.
- The potatoes?
- Yeah, the potatoes.
But I guess I'm just worried
that when we write up the contract
that it will result in a poorly worded document
that you think implies you can do whatever you like.
Thus subjecting us to unfair treatment.
Something we'll be debating from now
until the end of the human race.
(suspenseful music)
But who would ever do that, right?
(laughter)
- No one!
(laughter)
- No one
No one, no one would do that.
- That is a wild thing to do.
- That would be sick.
(laughter)
- Horrible thing to do to a race of people.
(laughter)
- Who would do that?
- Let's write that deal.
- Great!
And we'll translate
(sings)
- New Zealand, for better or worse, it's a country
and you're a citizen there.
And you're supposed to know how it works.
So, let's get into it.
♪ The Citizen's Handbook ♪
♪ Hmmmmm ♪
- Hi, I'm Robbie.
And the government gave me a bunch of money
to tell you how New Zealand works.
So I got a big desk and lots of camera angles
and a bunch of smart people to teach me stuff.
People like this.
♪ The Citizens... ♪
- And those smart people told me that if I want to explain
how New Zealand works, I better start at the beginning.
So here we go.
Roughly 10,000 years ago, before the iPhone 10,
the iPhone 6,
ney, even the iPhone 3, a bunch of travellers set off
from the comfortable dry land of Asia on a mission
to explore the largest ocean in the world,
Te Moananui-a-Kiwa aka the Pacific Ocean.
This was a particularly bold move considering
the Pacific Ocean has both A, an enormous amount of water
and B, not that much land.
And there's a decent chance you're gonna miss that land
and sail into nothing until you die.
These explorations were basically the historical equivalent
of flying to the moon, except maybe even harder
because at least you can see the moon.
It's just over there.
Luckily these explorers were the best sailors in the world.
And over thousands of years, they ventured further out
into the Pacific, setting up lives
in Micronesia, Melanesia, Polynesia,
and just when they thought they were done,
a few last explorers including the legendary Kupe himself
set off on a particularly huge voyage south
and found something awesome,
the islands of Te Ika-a-Māui, Te Waipounamu,
and their weird little brother, Rakiura.
Word spread back to their homeland and soon settlers
from east Polynesia were arriving by the waka-load.
And when they settled here, they become Tangata Whenua,
people of the land.
The early settlements were small and coastal
and unfortunately for all parties involved,
pretty dependent on moa.
And as the moa started to run out,
as sometimes happens to delicious animals
after coming into contact with humans,
these settlers looked for other ways to support themselves,
which started a revolution.
And it's exactly what you're thinking.
What causes revolutions?
Gardening!
That's right!
Like a retiree who wants to avoid their spouse,
these early communities got really into gardening.
They started to move inland,
towards all the good gardening soil.
And their settlements started getting bigger and bigger.
People started living in pā and growing and hunting
and storing everything they needed to eat.
Battles broke out occasionally
but unlike battles that happened in other places
around the world, these ones had pretty low casualty rates.
Looking at you England and France, and Russia, and Italy,
and Germany if you exist yet.
I'm not a hundred percent sure.
Usually, only a few people would die, if any at all
before someone stepped in and was like,
"all right, all right, let's all just,
can we take a chill pill okay?
Can we just find a peaceful resolution now?
Please and thank you?
Awesome."
The values of living were being cultivated too.
Tikanga Māori like manaakitanga
which means caring
and looking after people
even if their randoms.
And whanaungatanga
which are close connections
you have with people who are like brothers
or sisters to you, as well as,
your actual brothers and sisters,
who, let's face it, are sometimes more like work friends.
Society was flourishing in New Zealand.
Although, obviously, no one's calling it New Zealand.
So, because this is a civics series, let's break down
how society was working at the time.
And, if you already know all of this, and don't feel like
you need to hear a Pākehā man explaining
Māori society to you...
- No thanks, not keen.
- ...then that's fair enough
and just feel free to
skip this next bit.
Okay, so, day to day, your main community is your hapū,
which is made up of your whanau plus a few others
who are all living with each other.
Different hapū who whakapapa to common ancestors
also align into iwi because sometimes
it helps to have a few hundred people to back you up.
Hapū and iwi are run by the chiefs,
the Ariki and the Rangatira.
Also ranking pretty high up there are the Tohunga,
who are experts in history and tradition and healing.
Basically, walking Googles.
But the leadership of the Rangatira and the Tohunga
isn't taken for granted.
Their power is collective.
They don't just make up rules
and expect people to go along with them.
Their job is to figure out
what everyone thinks the rules should be.
And then make sure everyone's on the same page.
Pretty much the only way to stay a Rangatira
is by constantly proving that you're a good Rangatira.
These societies are busy.
Trade is booming.
Rivers aren't just rivers anymore.
They've become water highways.
Waka are paddling up and then cruising down them.
Trading minerals like pounamu and obsidian for
harakeke or food or whatever else is on special.
Things are going good and when Pākehā turn up,
it turns out they've got cool stuff too,
like nails and cloth and bigger boats.
And the little Pākehā settlements
that have popped up are desperate for food and resources
so Māori are happy to trade and swap some knowledge
with them.
And now, iwi and hapū have got big market gardens
and farms and flower mills.
They're producing so much,
they're running exports out to Australia.
Now, in 1830, there was a slight snag when the Australians
detained a Māori owned ship for not flying a flag.
So a group of northern Rangatira got together and signed
He Whakaputanga, the Declaration of Independence,
to tell western peeps.
"Just so you know,
we've got sovereignty over this place
and we've also got a really dope flag now too.
Awesome".
More and more Brits kept coming.
So in 1840, more than five hundred Māori chiefs,
and a representative of Queen Victoria, Chief of the Brits,
signed Te Tiriti o Waitangi.
It was supposed to give Queen Vic
the power to apply her laws on subjects over here
in New Zealand to keep them under control.
But something got lost in translation.
To be honest, this was all so lovely,
and I don't want to tell you
how bad things are about to get.
So with that in mind,
we strongly insist that you stop watching
this series and never come back.
Good bye.
♪ The Citizens Handbook ♪
♪ Hmmmmm ♪