I started seeing this girl three weeks ago or so just hanging out a couple times a week
with no real commitment. Didn't feel like it was getting too serious either.
This past week, she started getting more distant so I gave her space. Haven't talked to her
in a few days and this morning she texts me, "Hey, I'm sorry it took me so long to respond.
Been busy with family. I can tell I'm not in a spot to be in a relationship.
I know I don't have the time to put in the necessary effort. I think you're great, by the
way, and I'm still up for hanging out if you want, but don't want to put off more than I can give."
Seems like she wants... he continues, seems like she's just wanting to be friends with benefits,
which is alright with me. But I was starting to like her. Here's the deal, my friend.
She is absolutely saying to you, and I'm super confident in this, she's not interested.
Doesn't seem like she's interested in anything sexual, or anything to that
matter. And how I know, listen to this. You can read it between the lines. She says this.
I think you're great, by the way, and I'm still up for hanging out.
What does that mean? That means she's not interested. Because women always want a
relationship. I can tell you. Whatever's going on here, she's putting you in the friend-zone. So
understand that most likely, I'm 95% sure, there is not even a chance to do friends with benefits.
She's giving you the I think you're great. She's not attracted. You did something that turned her
off. You did something that made her feel less attracted to you. Don't know what that would
be. It's hard to say. You didn't give enough details here. But that's definitely the case.
Now, even if she was interested in a friends of benefits, which I don't believe she is,
you said, which is alright with me, but I was starting to like her. Dude, you are going to
absolutely fall more in like with her if you were to continue friends of benefits. If you go off and
you don't take my advice and you try to do this friends with benefits thing, you're gonna like
her even more. And then you're gonna get stuck with a woman who is not that interested in you.
That is dangerous because then you're going to waste time. And time is one of your most
valuable resources that you could ever have. What ends up happening is, you end up with a woman who
likes enough to hang out with you, you fall more in like with her and it's going to be
all this time that you're going to have to get over her, which can take several months.
And is very bad and go through a lot of negative turmoil. That's a little redundant.
Turmoil... I was gonna say negative emotions are going to be springing up left and right.
But again, I don't think that matters because this is someone who's basically saying the,
I'm just not that into you. And I want you to move on from her. And I want you to really look
into and try not to over analyze what maybe you did that could have un-attracted her.
She started getting more distant. This is your classic case. I doubt that she was that busy
with her family. It was probably a lie or a half lie. And here's also... I'm gonna read between the
lines on what you said – I started seeing this girl three weeks ago, we're just hanging out a
couple times a week. That's kind of a lot. For three weeks, I would be doing one time per week
to make sure that you're not appearing to needy. And you should be doing other things
and concentrating on other people and dating other people. And that would be having you date
one time per week. I'm wondering if you got needy with her. Even though maybe you didn't seem like
you were being needy. It's possible that you were trying to hang out with her a lot. I don't know.
Maybe you said something that turned her off. I don't know. But here's the good news – You have
100% dodged a woman that's not interested and that is good news because we don't want to hang
out with women who are not interested in us. That is no good. We want to be only with women who are
and women that don't have a high level of interest, done. We don't want to be spending
any more time, we don't want to convince anyone, we want to be with someone who feels
inspired to be with us, who says I am in a spot to be in a relationship. Of course they won't
literally say that to you. But you'll know that because they won't say that they're not in a spot
and they'll keep on hanging out with you. That's what we want. Hope that helps. Move on. You seem
like you're doing good so far. You're meeting women, you're getting to places, keep going.