I I can't quite find the question behind your question I I sense that you feel that something
is missing in you something you're not getting something that you're coming to these meetings and
Retreats and and that still something is eluding you or that you're not getting some that that's
what I maybe we can start with awareness to be honest it just still feels like this
like you're describing a fruit that I never ate okay let's forget the word awareness
what about the word being do you relate to that okay thank you because there's no
objective qualities that's really hard for me it's like okay can you say of your experience
I am is it clear to you that you are yeah yeah
is it that exactly it's it that that's the problem you see you doubt you're expecting
because of your you've obviously read some spiritual literature and and probably too
much and you've heard all these exotic um descriptions of Enlightenment or all these
um all the paraphernalia that surrounds the the religious and spiritual Traditions all
of which send a message that Enlightenment or salvation and um Awakening is something exotic
and extraordinary and so foreign to this ordinary mundane realm in which they live Enlightenment is
the recognition of the nature of your being it is the least exotic experience there is
even the taste of tea is by comparison exotic and not only is is your being not something
extraordinary unknown hard to find reserved only for a few special individuals the reason
you haven't quite yet recognized your own being is precisely because it is so close
so simple so familiar so intimate that but you're looking too far ahead of you
you're looking beyond your being you're looking you're looking for something extraordinary and
so you always feel I haven't quite got it I haven't quite found it what is everybody
else what they are referring to what am I missing some no how can you be missing
your being the only reason you're missing your being is because you're looking in front of you
all that is being spoken of is the nature of your being not some extraordinary
mystical enlightened being just the ordinary intimate obvious familiar
being that enables each of us to say with absolute certainty I am
is there not as is there a single person in the world
that could not say from their experience I am
everybody can say that not just a few Enlightenment everybody all what is it a
billion of us can say I am it's true that not everybody yet knows clearly what that
statement refers to why because their being is mixed with the content of experience
so whilst everyone has the experience of being myself or not everybody knows their self clearly
not everyone knows their self most for most people if you ask them about their experience they were
of themselves they won't just say I am they will say I am sad they won't just say I am they'll say
I'm 47 years old they won't just say I am they'll say I'm the mother of three children they won't
just say I am they say I'm cold or tired or hungry it's always they always refer to themselves I am
but their statement of themselves is always mixed with and as a result qualified by some aspect of
their experience which makes them feel I am sad I'm lonely I'm tired I'm a mother and so on so
they know their self that's what enable sent them to say I am a mother 47 cold tired hungry
whatever but their experience of themselves is so mixed up with their ex their their
objective experience that they don't yet know themselves clearly they don't know the pure I am
when it is um relieved of the qualities that it borrows from experience
and don't we I mean isn't that always going to be
part of this Human Experience like even even when I am aware knowingly
it's still going to be colored by having a form is it not take the thought I am now just Just Close
Your Eyes have the thought I am and then go to the experience in yourself to which those words refer
starts me from Sensations
um it
if there's sensation I mean their perceptions there's oh if if your experience just consisted
of Sensations and perceptions then when I ask you about yourself you would pause and you would go
there are thoughts there are Sensations there are perceptions but you don't say
that you say I am thinking I am feeling I am seeing gotcha okay good thank you thank you