Hi can I have a word with you? Oh! No I’m sorry. I think I’ll come back. Hi my name
is Tash and what was I just doing back there? Yes, I was trying to do this. I was trying
to start a conversation. But why was I not able to do it? Because I was not doing any
of these. Friends tell me how many of you’ll wanted to have a conversation with a stranger
or a guy or a girl you like and you were not able to do so? I sure so many of you’ll
have just nodded your head. Yes I know we go through this many a times, when we think,
we wanna talk to a person, but we can’t do that, because you’re not confident or
you think, Oh! What is he gonna think about me or what is she gonna think about me. No
today I’m gonna help you come out of that thinking and help yourself, boost your confidence
and go start a conversation with a stranger. So let us see how?
The first point says Monitor body language
. When I say monitor body language, don’t get me wrong. I definitely don’t
mean keep staring at the person; no let’s see you are travelling. Now this stranger
that I’m talking about could be anybody, could be somebody, who’s your co-passenger,
could be a person standing with you at a bus stand or railway station, could be a new student
in the college, and could be anybody. So what you have to do? The moment you see a stranger
or a person, who you wanna start a conversation with, understand what he or she is doing currently.
What is their current state? For example, if the person is browsing through some documents
don’t just barge and say, Hi I’m Tash. No she or he is not gonna like it. Just relax,
look at the person, see what she or he is doing first. If she, trust me the right time
to go and say hi, would be the person is browsing through her phone or is just going through
her mobile phone. Because that is when we are usually relaxed and of course, when the
person is talking on the phone or he’s talking to another person, you definitely aren’t
going to go and talk to her. So if a person is on a mobile phone, it’s the best time
to go and talk to her or him and start your conversation. So initially you have to see
what the person is doing for you to begin your conversation. The next point says, Collect
information. Collect information from whom? Yeah, who are you gonna collect information
from? From nobody else, but the person. I’ll tell you how? Now that you have probably not
still got a chance to talk to the person, you’re just waiting a chance, you’re just
waiting. Okay what is she gonna do now? I wanna go and say hi. Just relax, wait. When
I say collect information. I mean look at the person, if he or she, let’s see it’s
your co-passenger in an airplane, you can definitely look at what she’s doing, slyly
though from the corner of your eye. And you know that she’s reading a novel and she’s
reading a book, which you are familiar with or she’s browsing through a site, which
you were familiar with as well. Why you can do this is because, you know that this is
interesting the person, right? You are getting to know the interest of the person. The moment
you start a conversation with a person, you know what to talk about. So when you gather
information, so when you collect information about the person, yourself of course, you
know what your conversation is going to be all about. So collect information, if a novel
she’s reading, talk to her about the novel, once you start the conversation. The next
one say’s, Self-confidence. Yes friends this is very very important. Now we’ve crossed
this stage, we’ve crossed this stage and now finally, you are getting the chance to
go and talk to him or her. So what you gonna do, you’re gonna tell yourself. It’s time
now for me to go and start that conversation. I can nail it. Don’t start fumbling within
yourself; don’t start telling yourself, Oh! I don’t think I can do this. No stop
it Tash, you can’t, no you can’t. Rather tell yourself, okay, Tash you can do it. Come
on go, nail it. The moment you see the person, just go and say, hi I’m Tash. Of course
if the person is busy or she is in a middle of something, she’s definitely gonna tell
you, can you hang on for a second please or they are really gentle, they are gonna keep
their work aside. Yes of course, she definitely going to, he or she, definitely gonna be able
to have hat conversation with you. So it’s very simple, go and say hi, because the most
horrible mistake, you would do is loose self-confidence. If you go and tell her, Hi, ahhahh, ahh, im
Tash, you know I was just wondering if I just have a word with you. Trust me friends forget
about talking to you, she’s just gonna walk outor she’s not gonna be interested in you,
because she’s gonna doubt your intentions. When you lack this, your intentions are being
doubted. So don’t lack self-confidence, be confident and just talk to the person,
so that the person is interested in talking to you. The next one says, Open ended questions.
In school when teacher would ask questions, I would be very, I would only think, I just
hope teacher would ask me a question, which ends in a yes or a no. Trust me I would do
that, but today eventually when I have grown up, I’m right here standing in front of
you, I know how important it was for my teacher to ask me a open ended question, so that I
could go on talking. Yes that’s what I’m talking to you about. An open ended question
is something, which gives you an answer in more than a yes or a no. Remember over here,
we don’t want close ended questions. When you are trying to start a conversation with
a stranger, you know what’s a close ended question? Hi are you familiar? No that’s
it that is it, because when you ask a question, which gives you an answer in a yes or a no,
your conversation is over. Open ended questions are very important, let’ssee the person
you are talking to, you’ve seen that she’s reading a novel, don’t just ask her, where
did you buy this from? Is it good or bad? She’s gonna say yes or no. Instead ask her
or him. Can you tell me about the events of this novel? Yes because the moment she starts
talking to you about the events of the novel, that’s when you and she or he, can start
a quick and a nice conversation, so never ask a question like, where you from? Do I
know you? If you meet somebody at the party, let’s say you see this really nice girl
at the party and you really wanna talk to her, so what do you do? Hi do I know you?
And if she’s not interested, she’s gonna say no, I don’t know, but instead did you
attend Carol’s party last summer and if she has , of course, if you know that she
has not, but still she is gonna be interested in talking to you. So always ask open ended
questions, avoid asking close ended questions. Last one says, Leave them wanting more. Now
we have crossed all the stages. You have been successfully been able to start a conversation,
so what do you do? Of course, you have to go right? You can’t be standing and sitting
and talking the entire day. You always ensure that you start such a conversation, which
does not end over there, for example, if you are talking about a book, let’s say you
are talking about a novel, don’t finish your conversation in a haste, go slow, relax,
try to leave the person wanting for more , the next time he or she meets you. Remember one
thing friends, if you think, you are boring the person or maybe is she getting bored,
am I talking too much? But remember one thing; you are still that mysterious stranger, who
has started this conversation with that person and he or she is definitely gonna be interested
in you. Why would she not want to listen to you anymore? That is why I told you this is
very important. Your approach towards that stranger is very very important. If you go
with an attitude that you are gonna nail it, you will definitely do and definitely this
person is wanting and is waiting, when is that next time that you are gonna meet her.
So friends, we just saw how to have or how to start a conversation with a stranger. I’m
so sure there are so many people out there, who wanted to do this all the while. But yes
friends as much as confident, as much as confident that we are, there are times that we try to
fumble, we run a loss of words, we don’t know what to say, specially the person, somebody
you are dying to talk to, you are completely a flat. So friends remember these points,
remember these tips, which I have shared with you today. I’m sure they are gonna help
you to have an amazing conversation and trust me you will never ever fumble after that , so
thanks for listening, thanks for watching, keep watching, keep learning. I will be back
with another interesting lesson. Till then take care.