- Jalape-no
or jalape-yes?
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat music)
Good mythical morning.
- We are in a golden age of flavor.
There's flavored snacks, flavored drinks,
there's even flavored air, which we've tried.
I recommend the piña colada air, it's tasty and light.
- There are truly a flurry of flavors
for whatever you wish to savor
and today, we're going to savor jalapeño.
But with all the jalapeño flavor snacks out there,
which one is the closest to the actual flavor of jalapeño?
It's time for Super Snack Flavor Match: Jalapeño Edition.
- We're gonna rank the snacks on a scale of one to ten
on how close each taste to actual jalapeño
and then we're gonna add up those scores
and the snack with the highest overall score
will be declared the truest jalapeño-flavored snack
and will accordingly forever be named Jalapeño Brian.
I knew that was upside down.
- But before we taste these snacks,
we must establish our control by tasting actual jalapeño.
Bring out the raw jalapeño.
(bowl scraping on desk)
- 'Kay.
- This is raw jalapeño. - Dink it, dink it.
Sink it, we just --
Okay, so we're-- - I'm gonna go full,
I'm goin' full ring.
- I'mma go half ring because --
- It's not bad, dude.
They've taken the seeds out.
- Well, I wanna get the flavor
but I didn't wanna get so much hotness
that it impacts the snackage.
- No, that's not too bad, it's not too bad at all.
Very specific flavor, I would say it's kinda jalapeño.
- Taste that one, this one only tastes like a green pepper
and I'm serious.
- I got my own, you got your own.
- Taste it, it doesn't taste like jalapeño.
- It tastes like green peppers, but hotter.
- That one's not hot.
- Let's see our first jalapeño snack.
(gentle guitar music)
First up, we have Combos, Jalapeño Cheddar.
- You don't have to open that, right?
- I'm not gonna open it.
- Save your little Twinkie fingers
because all you gotta do is grab this over here.
Your, I guess, elongated twinkies.
Dink it. - Sink it.
- My wife, I love her so much,
and she loves Combos so much.
But she loves pizza flavored Combos.
I don't think she's ever gotten these.
(crunching loudly)
Well, the depiction of a jalapeño pepper is very accurate
on the packaging.
I will start with that.
- Let me say that it's a great taste.
I taste heat. - I'll let you say that.
- I do not taste the jalapeño.
I taste cheese, - and heat.
- Bread, and heat.
- There's no doubt this is a good snack,
but is it true
to the jalapeño?
- Again, what we're testing,
it's very important that you understand this,
is how much
does it taste like jalapeño? - They understand it.
I'm gonna give it a--
if I were giving it,
if I were rating it on taste-- - It was a snack scale
- Yeah, but that's not what we're doing.
I want you to understand.
- Yeah, yeah, you need to understand
that's not what we're doing.
- I want you to understand that's not what we're doing.
- [Both] I'm gonna give it a four.
(both shouting)
- Wow, what?
- For a total of eight. - Eight!
(gentle guitar music)
- Are these jalapeño chips packed with enough flavor
for you to pass up the jalapeños in your guac?
- Is that really what we're up against?
- That's what we're up against.
- Is that the question at hand?
- Yeah, you got one here.
- If I get 'em in my chip, I can't have 'em in my guac.
- You know what, man?
Have a foldy on me.
Here we go. Dink it. Sink it.
(chips crunch loudly)
Kettle make a good chip.
- Now, these actually have jalapeño powder in them.
- They also got 220 calories per bag.
- Hey, listen. I taste jalapeño, friend.
- Ooh, 'cause when I taste the jalapeño,
- That is good! - With the seeds gone,
it took longer for the heat to hit me,
but it hit me under the title card,
and I was like, oh, now I'm experiencing that again,
so, it's like, oh.
- Before we give the scores here,
let me just do a little PSA.
A not insignificant number of you out there
say jala-pee-no.
Most of you live where we come from.
It's not jala-pee-no.
It's jala-pain-yo.
There's a little thing over the n.
When you say jala-pee-no, you seem stupid.
(crew laughs offscreen)
Okay. - Don't sound stupid,
Say jala-pain-yo.
End of PSA. - I'm gonna give this one --
- Man, that's a -- - Eight?
- It not only tastes great, I'm tempted to go
nine. - Nine.
I'm so tempted to go nine.
I think I might do it. If--
- Nope, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna go nine.
- But what if I want to?
- Left in the dust.
- Eight, okay, I'll stay with eight.
- Nine. For a total of
- [Both] 17.
(gentle guitar music)
- Hey, if you're into jalapeños,
Josh shows you how to make a Spam jalapeño popper
over on the mythical kitchen channel,
and if spice ain't yo thang,
you can check out the brand new
snack smash mountain dew moon pie.
- What? - Yeah,
so both of those are over there.
- And if that's not enough Josh in your life,
he and Nicole also have a podcast.
It's called "A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich."
It's wherever you listen to podcasts.
- And if that's still not enough Josh for you --
okay that is enough Josh for you.
Let's eat some Slim Jims.
Jalapeño flavor.
- [Rhett] Uh, okay.
- Keto friendly snack, Rhett.
- Dink me.
Sink me.
This is hot. - It does get hot.
- This is hot. - It's real hot.
- It's hot. - It's hot.
- Hot. - Hot.
Almost too hot. Good god.
- It also has-- - It builds.
- Jalapeño powder.
- Ew, I don't eat a lot of these.
- It's pretty good.
I like that kick, man.
- This has the spice, but does it have the pepper?
I actually think it does.
- It has it, but it doesn't-- - I'm giving it--
- Have it with the same sort of clarity that the chips did.
- I give it a six.
- Um, you know what, I'mma give this a seven.
- Okay. For a total of 13.
(gentle guitar music)
- Today, PB&J stands for peanut butter and jalapeño,
And I'm a little bit upset,
but I'm gonna keep an open mind,
'cause we've got Rustlin' Rob's Jalapeño Peanut Butter
right here.
- Okay, I gotta say, ever since our fan fiction episode,
I haven't even looked at a jar of peanut butter.
But I know there is one in front of me right now.
- I have to be honest, I have looked at 'em
in a different way,
but I have looked at 'em.
- I think I could get to the bottom of this one.
(laughs)
- Okay, Rustlin' Rob costs a lot of money, y'all, $13,
- You didn't have to open that - I didn't have to do that.
- I don't, I mean the swirl -- - Okay.
- I don't wanna see the swirl.
- Jalapeño in a peanut butter?
Is this a good idea?
- I mean, maybe. - Should we?
Should we do this?
Ooh, that's thick - It's thick, Rob.
- I like a thick butter.
- Look at that, Rob. - Did I say this, $13?
I did say that.
- This is the most expensive, you say that?
- Now when you smell of it.
- It just smells like peanut butter,
'cause peanut butter
is so powerful. - Is overwhelming.
That's why I'm listening, you know?
I like the consistency.
- I like it. - Pshew!
- I like that bite.
- Let's try to quantify how spicy it is
as it increases.
- I would say-- - It's the spiciest thing yet.
- Oh, really?
- It might just be the cumulative effect, oh my gosh.
- No, I think the way that it adheres the spice
to the roof of your mouth.
So it -- and your tongue, and it just kind of
stays there,
making it the hottest thing we've tasted.
- It says-- - But the taste is still
overwhelmingly peanut butter.
- It doesn't say-- - Not a lot of pepper.
- The ingredients say "peanuts and salt."
- They forgot about --
- You think they put the jalapeños next to the peanuts
as they grew?
- They're just spicy peanuts.
- They're spicy by association (laughs),
because, how did it get so spicy
if you didn't put any --
- I think we to sic the USDA on Rustlin' Rob,
because he is lying on his jar.
- I mean, am I wrong?
"Selected roasted peanuts, vegetable oil, and salt."
- Contains peanuts, yeah.
There's no evidence that this is hot, except for,
well, it says jalapeño right there.
- Okay, Rob.
I won't hold that against you. - You're going down.
You deserve it.
But I do really like what you've done.
- I gotta say it tastes good,
but peanut butter is such a distinct and strong taste--
- I like it.
- That it just tastes like --
if you told me it was habanero peanut butter,
I'd be like, okay, you know?
There's no, for me, there's no specific jalapeño flavor.
- Yep, I agree.
- It's very good though.
- But I do recommend it
for spicy peanut butter. - Yes.
- If you think you might be into that,
but for this, I'm giving it a three.
- Wow, I was gonna say three.
We're stuck on the same page. - You can say it.
- Same page, page three! - [Link] For a total of six.
(gentle guitar music)
- Next up we have Snyder's jalapeño pretzel pieces.
- Now that, if you wouldn't have said pretzel pieces,
I would not have known what I'm looking at.
- Before you bite into those,
let me just orient you
a little bit to this. - I can see
that that's a piece of a pretzel.
- Link, warning. (laughs)
It doesn't say warning.
It is in big print.
"Contains wheat. Partially produced
"with genetic engineering."
- Parsh? - Parsh.
- Partially.
- Partially mutated wheat. Yep.
- And you smell it.
- I can smell that mutation.
- It also --
- It's advantageous mutations though.
- Snyder's is not of Hanover.
Snyder's is of Charlotte, North Carolina.
And then it says, "we are not connected
"with Snyder of Berlin, Berlin, Pennsylvania."
Wow. We have opened up a can of complication.
- Yeah, man. Put the lid on that.
- They're not in Hanover. - Where does--
- They're not in Berlin-- - To taste it.
- They're actually in Charlotte,
but they say they're in Hanover.
- All we gotta do is taste it, man.
- Oh, that's a good smell.
I like that. - All we gotta do.
Yeah, don't think.
- I want one off the ground.
- Don't think, just eat, man.
(crunching loudly)
Crunchy, powdery.
- Oh, that's tasty.
I don't care where it's from.
- Yeah, 'cause this is good.
And it stands on its own.
It doesn't need to be compared to anything.
Even that guy Schneider from, what was that show?
He was a mechanic, I mean the--
- John Schneider?
- John? Oh yeah, that's the guy's name.
- Of "Dukes of Hazard"? - "Dukes of Hazard."
Schneider was also the name of the fix-it man
in the apartment complex in those reruns I used to watch.
- Man, that was so good.
"Three's Company"?
- These are not spicy at all.
- No, they're just good.
- [Crew Member] All I see is "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
Were you watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"?
- Much earlier than that.
I'm talking like a 70s sitcom.
- [Crew Member] "One Day at a Time"?
- "One Day at a Time."
- This has real jalapeño peppers, real jalapeño peppers,
not just powder.
- It just doesn't -- it has a really good taste,
and if you're afraid of the spice,
but you like the taste,
this is for you, but as far as our ranking goes,
- Don't include me in this jalapeño boat,
because-- - You don't like it?
- I think it tastes like a jalapeño.
- But it's not spicy.
- But it tastes like jalapeño.
It's not how spicy it is.
It's what's the flavor profile.
And I give it a seven.
- Hmm. It did get a little spicier
while I pretended to listen to Rhett talk.
I'm gonna give it a five.
- Oh, thank you. - [Link] Total of 12.
(gentle guitar music)
- Finally the moment we've all been waiting for,
Jalapeño Spam!
- Oh, goodness.
I gotta conjure up some courage for this.
I do see that there are specks of jalapeño in that,
which seems like cheating.
- I don't think so.
The second ingredient besides "pork with ham,"
which,
does that count as one ingredient?
- You know, when your ham is not enough ham,
- Pork with ham. - You add some more ham
to it. - Add more ham
to the pork, please!
Jalapeño peppers is the second ingredient.
There's also-- - there's not a lot of--
I'mma try to get it,
I'll get you-- - "Water, salt,
"modified potato starch, sugar, sodium phosphate,
"flavoring, and sodium nitrite."
That nitrite, you don't want a lot of those in your body.
Let's eat some Spam.
- Review on Amazon says, "Smells like cat food."
- Yeah, well, it's Spam.
- "It tastes like Spam with a slight jalapeño hint.
"Cats like it.
"Can arrived damaged."
If your Spam is damaged,
it can arrive that way--
- Don't feed that to your cats.
- So just don't panic.
You held that too close to your nose for me to dink.
- All right.
- Not trying to think about what this is.
I'm just trying to think about--
- You know me, I've eaten a lot of processed meats
in my day.
We pretty much had 'em, like, had like a whole drawer
full of them growing up,
but my mom never did the Spam thing.
We did Vienna sausage, before we did--
- Yeah, this is a bit tough for me.
- It's not really that bad though.
- I may be tapping into some sorta childhood Spam trauma.
- You blocked out some Spam situations?
- Apparently.
But you know, you don't really have to chew it.
I do like that.
Hey, I'm not rating Spam.
I'm rating if it tastes like jalapeños.
Are you feeling any spice?
- I specifically went in
and grabbed-- - Yeah?
- A little jalapeño bit.
- Yeah, you mining for green.
- And I gotta say, I still just taste Spam.
- Yeah, and my stomach is kinda like turning over
at this point.
- For me this is really just
sort of the suggestion of jalapeño,
- Mm hmm.
- Without the presence of jalapeño.
- 'Cause you don't want your cats to have diarrhea.
- Exactly what I was gonna say next.
- I'm giving this a 2.
- Surprisingly, even though it's got jalapeños
that you can see in it,
I'm gonna give it a one.
- Yeah, that's right.
That's a total of three.
- I'm sorry, Spam.
- Which means that Slim Jim is not our winner,
but it's second place,
while four points ahead-- - Dramatic.
- Kettle brand potato chips, jalapeño flavored
with a hot icon.
- With a total score of 17,
these things taste great, they taste like jalapeños.
They are not a sponsor, but they could be
if the people at Kettle would just listen to us.
- Yeah.
(Chips clink on can) (Wrapper rustles)
- And, even though you've already taken all of them out,
that means that Kettle brand potato chips,
jalapeño flavor, are officially Jalapeño
- [Both] Brian!
- Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bow.
- Remember to check out the new Mythical Kitchen podcast,
"A Hotdog Is a Sandwich."
You know what time it is.
- This is DJ BC and Bowie.
- We just ate habanero peppers.
- And it's time to spin the
- [Both] Wheel of Mythicality!
- Take that energy, run with it!
- Pain bonding.
- Click the top link to watch us play
the spicy gummy challenge
in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's
gonna land.
- So I'm supposed to dunk it until it like yea?
- Yeah, dunk it top side down, right side left,
- Like Space Jam, like Space Jam.
- Yeah, there it is. - Oh my god, oh my god.
- Yeah, get it, now shake it, shake it, shake it!