I am sure that many of you have been told that your weight or excess weight and being overweight
can impact and affect your fertility. Well, that absolutely can be true, but it doesn't have to be
the defining reason why you can't get pregnant. And today I'm going to share a story of a woman
who's in my Hope Fertility Coaching Program, who was told exactly that. Not only was she told
that she was overweight and that she needed to lose weight to get pregnant
and actually come back after that, but she was told that she needed bariatric surgery so that
she can lose weight in a reasonable amount of time to give her a fair chance of conception. And
in her case that wasn't really what needed to happen. So I want you to hear her story
and I'm going to share my comments while she's talking so that you can learn about her story,
how it can impact your fertility, and what you can do to get pregnant naturally.
If you've been told by your OB-GYN or fertility doctor to lose some weight and then come back,
this story is for you. So I want you to keep watching. But before I do that,
I do want to give a quick shout out to the sponsor of this week's video, Fairhaven Health.
You've maybe heard me talk about them before. Fairhaven produces some of my favorite vitamins
for fertility, both the FH Pro for Men and the FH Pro for Women right here. If you want
more information on their products then just use the link in the description below to learn more.
My name is Dr. Marc Sklar, also known as the Fertility Expert. I've been working with couples
from all over the world for over 19 years through my online coaching programs and through my clinics
right here in San Diego. And weight can absolutely impact your fertility, whether it's too little
weight, your weight is too low, or you have too much weight, but it doesn't have to be the main
reason and often isn't the main reason why you're not able to conceive. So this story really speaks
true to me because I work with this all the time, and I hope you gain some insights from this week's
story as well. But more importantly, I want you to learn and be informed and increase your knowledge
and understanding about fertility and your specific needs, which is why I create these videos
every week and why I keep Fertility TV going for all of you. That's my mission, is to inform all of
you and give you the knowledge and the power to make the best choices for your fertility needs.
My husband and I started trying in June, I think it was 2014. I waited until I got tenure. I'm
a teacher and I was just... we were ready to do it and we thought it would happen so easily. And
started to get kind of concerned around like the six-month mark, when they say, oh,
healthy couples, it should take four to six months or whatever they say. And I started to get a
little concerned, but I thought because there's plenty of people that tell it takes a year,
so we took a whole solid year and still nothing. And so then that started to become a real concern.
I then at that point decided, well, maybe we should start talking to a specialist.
So we went to a specialist in the area and- I do you feel like I should comment right here
for just a moment. Maybe you've heard me say this before. The general guidelines are, if you're
under 35, that you should be trying for a year, and then if you're over 35, 6 months or more,
before you seek out any additional help. Now, my caveat to this is if you want to be
proactive about your health, your fertility and reproductive needs, you don't have to wait for
those guidelines before you seek out help. The second piece to that is if you know
you already have an issue, whether it's reproductive or any other health condition
that you feel like might be impacting your fertility, don't wait for those guidelines
to start to get help. You can start to make change now so that you can be ahead of the game.
So I'm not criticizing Danielle for waiting for those guidelines because plenty of couples do,
and that is appropriate. But if you know you need time to address some of your underlying issues,
start now. The right time to start is when you are ready to start, not when someone else tells you.
And really didn't get a sense that he was really willing to help us right away.
He basically just said to me, "Lose a hundred pounds and that's the end of
it and [inaudible 00:04:54]." So easy, right?
And I just felt like, "I know I'm not the biggest person that's ever walked into your office. I'm
a bigger girl, but I'm not over 300 pounds." I just feel like I was morbidly obese and I
wasn't worthy of having help at that point. He offered bariatric surgery to help me.
Really? I don't think I knew that. Yeah, it was just very weird. It was
just very weird stuff. And it just kind of put me in a bad place and I felt like I was at a
dead end at that point. Like if this is the answer, I understand it can only help to lose
weight, but that can't just be that and that's the end all. There has to be other underlying things.
So this is such a key, important piece. Yeah, she said it, right? Can losing weight be harmful for
you if you are overweight? No, it could only benefit you. But again, she wasn't morbidly
obese, and yet she was being put off because of her weight. A hundred pounds is not an easy
thing to lose and doesn't happen overnight. So not only is he telling her to lose weight,
but he's telling her to use more time to lose that weight. And these things have to be
thought about properly. So if you get the same information that she got, then my suggestion
is to get a second opinion and also take a step back and reflect properly on your specific needs.
That's exactly what Danielle did, which is why she ended up moving forward with seeking out more
support. And we're about to hear that right now. Your YouTube videos, that's how I found you.
That's actually how I ended up finding out who you were and I just felt that you were just a wealth
of knowledge at that point. And I said, well, if this guy is willing to put out information online
about how to get pregnant, or just information about teaching women about their bodies, let me
talk to you. And so at that point I was probably about a year and a half into trying to get
pregnant and no luck. And then I sought you out. One big thing I have to say, I think I really have
to say thank you for that help because if I didn't know what I knew from what you told me and what
you taught me about what's going on in my body and what I need to do, I wouldn't be able to advocate
for myself. Really gave me the power to speak up for myself and I'm telling you, my sister-in-law
and I went through similar fertility issues at the same time and I felt like I was doctoring her.
I was helping her and giving her advice, telling her what to say to the doctors because
she'd come back and say, "Well, they told me this and that was the end of it. So I didn't want to
question them." And I said, "You have to. You have to question them. That can't be end all."
So I could spend a lot of time going over Danielle's specific case and what we did for
her and how we did it, but this point really needs some attention. It's so important to be your own
advocate and to understand. And one of the benefits for her with working with
me and for everybody else is the knowledge and understanding about your specific case
and what you need. And having that information gives you the power to be able to advocate for
yourself properly. So we have to recognize that sometimes the information that you're getting
is not always in your best interest. It might be in the best interest of somebody else.
And so we do need to advocate for ourselves. Does that mean it's frustrating and easy? No,
it's not easy. And yes, it is frustrating. It can be challenging at times, but it is the right path.
She knew that she needed more help. And I want to point this out. She actually had... So coming back
to one of her health issues, is she had some thyroid issues and it's really easy for women
with thyroid issues to gain weight. Yet the doctor that she consulted first, didn't bother to look
at this piece. And what did he do? He just said, "Go lose weight." Well, it's not going
to be very easy for her to lose weight if her thyroid's not managed properly and controlled,
which it wasn't. And so this is all an important piece of the same puzzle. She was put off because
of her weight and he didn't bother to look deeper to figure out what was going on with her. You have
to find the root issues in her case that are impacting her overall health, her weight gain,
and her fertility. And that's part of what we were able to do that made her successful.
So I really appreciated that. What I really want people to know is that you have to have patience
with this. And it's so hard to tell people to have patience with fertility. I understand
completely because it was probably the longest two years of my life, but you have to. There's always
a light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to keep pushing forward. And I just started to see
these changes about how I felt, how I was acting, how even my moods were and
it just started to happen. It started to feel better. And yeah, it wasn't like
a quick fix right away, but I just started to see a little bit by little, these changes in my body.
So this is also an important piece with any progress. And I've said this a lot recently, not
here on Fertility TV, but when I've been talking to those couples that I've been working with,
is I want to see progress for you. I want progress and change, and I want you to feel it. So it's not
always about your labs changing, although we do want your hormones to change and improve, but it's
also about you feeling better as a result. If your labs change and improve but you still feel crappy,
that's not good enough for me and it shouldn't be good enough for you. That means we're still
missing something. And I'm not saying I'm perfect and we make this happen for everybody,
but that's my goal. That's what I strive for with all of you. And she just said it. Bit by
bit she was feeling different. She was feeling better, which is what we want for all of you.
Danielle also had on top of thyroid issues, also had PCOS. Actually that was the underlying primary
issue that needed to be addressed. Very common to see with PCOS is thyroid issues. And because
my topic of PCOS has been one that has been continuing over the last several weeks, this
should already have been something you've heard about and understand, because I've repeated this
multiple times in these last series of videos. But I did not pick Danielle's story to share
with you because it was a PCOS story. I picked it because she was overweight and the focus from
her doctors were about her weight, not the real issues. Not regulating her hormones and
trying to manage her PCOS and not trying to manage her hypothyroidism. It was all about skipping
those things and focusing on her weight. We needed to address these things to allow her to focus on
her weight easier. That's what we were able to do with the plan that we laid out, and that's
why she was able to get the results that she got. I thought that my destiny was just going to be
like miscarriage after miscarriage. This is how it's going to be. Like there's something
wrong with me. So I gave myself two months, we tried again, we did IUI and it took on the third
try. We got pregnant and we had a beautiful baby girl a month ago.
So she did mention that she had reoccurring pregnancy loss, which also was ignored in
her situation. And those reasons that I said previously were all causing or a variable that
contributed to her losses. Thyroid issues can contribute to losses. PCOS or women with PCOS
have a higher likelihood of having a miscarriage. So these are all things that contributed to that,
but she was able to get pregnant, and through IUI mind you. This wasn't a natural conception.
It was through IUI because she was able to focus on and address the root issues.
That IUI wasn't successful for her previously, because we never got to the root issue,
but now she was able to. So her story is one that has a lot of important messages for all of us.
First and foremost, yes, weight is important. And I said this before,
whether your weight is too low or too high, that is a factor that needs to be addressed.
And often I am asking women to gain weight because they're too thin. And that reduction in
calories and weight is causing a disturbance with their hormones and fertility. In her case,
in Danielle's case, that wasn't the case. It was the opposite. So I'm not ignoring
the weight as an issue, but the answer is not just to tell somebody, "Lose weight
and then come back to me." That's not the answer. That's not the solution. If it was that easy,
she would've done it years ago. And secondly,
they were saying that and ignoring the root issues that she had of reoccurring pregnancy loss, PCOS,
and thyroid disease. Those need to be accounted for, to give her a chance to regulate her cycles,
lose weight, and get pregnant. And so there's many, many reasons why I'm sharing
her story, least of which is the fact that she even stated, "I needed to advocate for myself."
And the information she learned from me and the program informed her, gave her the knowledge,
confidence, and understanding to advocate for herself properly. And those are also things
that you all need to do and incorporate. We need to learn to advocate for ourselves,
for our fertility needs, our health needs and any need that you have. Our main voice is ourselves.
And if we can't do it, no one else can do it for us. So I want to thank Danielle for sharing her
story with all of you, because I know that it's going to be impactful for all of you.
The other thing is that if you have been trying for too long,
if you feel like you need a second opinion and more guidance and a unique plan for yourselves,
that's where my Hope Fertility Coaching Program can come in to help you. If you want more
information on it, or if you want to see if you're the right fit for it, then I want to invite you to
apply by using the link in the description below. From there you will set up a call with my team.
They will review your case, and we will decide if that's a good fit for you to join our program.
We want to make sure that we can help you, which is why we have this system in place.
Again, if you like this video, give me a thumbs up. If you're not already a subscriber
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did you find valuable this video? What did you find? Was it helpful for you? If so,
comment below and let me know. And if it sparked some questions, even better, post
those questions down below and I'll do my best to answer those. Until the next video, stay fertile.