Hey guys! So, first of all, I don't even know because I'm filming
this video in advance, but if there's been a delay
in my videos lately, I sincerely apologize.
I'm sorry to everyone who continues to watch and support me.
I truly do appreciate it. And don't think I'm neglecting my YouTube at all.
I know I don't post every single day like some other YouTubers do now,
but I'm not neglecting YouTube at all.
Believe it or not, that's my number one priority.
I'm either writer, filming or editing every single day.
Even on the weekends.
I guess I'm just not as fast of a writer, filmer or editor
as some other people.
But, anyway, thank you guys again so much for bearing with me
through this struggle.
The struggle is real.
(singing) In the arms of an angel...I don't know the rest of the words!
Yeah, that's just a preview to how crappy this video is gonna be.
No one will blame you if you click away now. Not even me.
Thank you guys!
Dear Ryan, where do babies come from?
The vagina.
Dear Ryan, this video's three months old, so you're probably not even reading this.
WROOOOOOOOOOOOONG!
WRONG!
WR-WR-WR-WR-WR-WR...
WRRRRRY will never say never.
That's a deep joke because it sounded like a basketball shot clock buzzer.
It's an old video, some of you might get it. Anyway...
Dear Ryan, are you from Hawaii?
Dear, Craig, yes. I am from Hilo, Hawaii, on the big island,
where we like to speak a lot of pidgin!
Dear Ryan, can you draw the picture of me?
I mean, I'm not the best artist, but I guess I can.
I may have to zoom in a lot 'cause that's an awfully small picture,
but I mean, I guess.
Finishing touches...DONE!
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:
Roysten Bob.
I may have zoomed in too much.
Dear Ryan, can you do my drunk kitchen?
(silence)
Whazzzzzup?!
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
Dear Ryan, please show a day in the life of a lamp.
(pensive music)
That was the best documentary ever!
Bridget, preach!
Dear Ryan, can you tell Greg to cut his mustache?
Hey, Greg! Cut your mustache!
- No! - Okay.
Dear Ryan, get two slices of bread, put them down the back of your underwear
while sticking one to each butt cheek and sit on it for ten minutes.
I mean, I guess...
Ten minutes later...
And that's where Nutella comes from!
Dear Ryan, can you moon walk while wearing high heels?
(humming Michael Jackson song)
Oh!
Dear Ryan, if you made your own toilet paper,
what would it be like and what would you call it?
Tired of having to buy more and more toilet paper?
Aren't you sick of having to wipe multiple times?
Does your toilet paper leave you dry and unexfoliated?
Well, look no further.
Thanks to the newest invention in butt wiping technology, we now present
to you the Sand Pooper.
Never go another day without wiping with Sand Pooper.
No more wasting your money buying roll after roll.
For the Sand Pooper, all you need is one.
Just wipe, wash, and reuse!
And you'll never have to wipe multiple times again.
'Cause with the sand papery grip of the Sand Pooper,
you'll get everything at once.
Not to mention, every time you use the Sand Pooper,
you're also exfoliating at the same time.
You'll be walking smoother than ever!
So smooth you could even moonwalk in high heels!
So what're you waiting for?
Get your Sand Pooper today.
(farting)
Dear Ryan, if you had to choose a Naruto character,
which one would you be and why?
If I had to pick amongst all the characters, I would pick Gaara
because not only can he control sand, he has an unlimited supply of sand,
and he lives in a sand village, which is like the exact place
where I would want to start my company for...
(farting)
Dear Ryan, can you fall in love with a tree?
(gentle music)
Hey.
(birds chirping)
Look, I know I may be barking up the wrong tree,
I just want to talk things out.
Just get to the root of our problems.
I know it's too late for breakfast, and a little early for lunch,
but maybe we could go grab some branch or something.
Okay, fine, I know those last tree puns weren't that great,
and if you had hands, you'd probably face palm tree times by now,
but just pleaves...say something.
Anything.
(sighing)
Look, if you want me to grow, I'll grow,
just don't ignore me!
Okay, it's either me or the drugs!
So what's it gonna be?
That's pine.
Pine!
I see how it is!
Just gonna let a little drugs just soil everything we had?!
Everything we grew together, just throw it all away?
Well, I hope it was worth it...
'cause I'm leafing you.
I'm leafing you for gwood.
Goodbye, Katrina.
Have fun with your weeds.
Ah! That was so tough!
Aye, but you really rooted down and stood tall.
- I'm proud of you, Katrina. - Thanks, Bush. You're always there for me.
I'm always here for you too, Katrina.
Hey, shut up Barock, you ain't even a tree!
- You shut upl You can't talk to me! - I can talk to you however I feel like talking!
(both argue)
Can you guys both just shut up for once? Geeze!
I'm taking the pot. I need to go for a drive.
(tires squeal)
- Treesus, what's her problem? - Yeah. Why she gotta be so moody?
She's probably just on her pee right now.
Yeah, she's definitely photosynthesizing.
What'd you say?!
- Nothing! - Nothing.
Tee hee!
So thank you guys so much for watching.
If you wanna see bloopers and behind-the-scenes, click the one on the left.
If you wanna see the previous Dear Ryan video,
click the one on the right.
And if you wanna leave your own Dear Ryan, leave it in the comments below
or tweet it to me or Facebook or do something.
You could just shout it. I'll probably hear.
Nah, nah, nah. Just leave a comment.