Rob: The Dr. Phil Story!
Doug: Mad as in angry or mad as in crazy?
Rob: Yes.
Doug: Goodnight, Pluto! Good luck surviving Hurricane Irma!
Rob: You know, if Mickey didn't finish off that bottle of Bourbon, he might realize there's a hurricane outside.
Doug: What's that, boy? A sharknado?
Mickey: Pluto!
Pluto!
Doug: Well, he's no longer a planet, so who gives a shit?
Mickey: He's gone!
Doug: Goofy's gonna experiment on Pluto. There will be answers.
Rob: Judging by these footprints, I deduce he has feet.
Doug: Welcome to Castlevania! Yahoo! Yahoo!
Dr. Triple X?!
Rob: Next on Cinema Snob: The first porno starring cartoon dogs.
Well, it's nice of that bridge to politely collapse.
Doug: Eh, we want to kill you, but kill you with kindness.
It's like the welcome mat of Steve Bannon's house.
Rob: You now belong to the Disney Vault.
I thought I was public domain!
Wrong!
Doug: The great survivors.
Mickey: Pluto!
Rob: Seeking revenge on Mystery Inc., the nearsighted ghoul had no idea this wasn't Scooby-Doo.
Coming this summer: Walt Disney's Doom 64.
Mickey: Aahaahaahaahaahaa!
Doug: Screw it! I'm getting a cat!
Rob: The legs of Gwendoline Christie foreshadow Mickey's end.
Doug: Okay guys, I know it's the thirties, but I thought we'd be able to do better than this!
Mickey: Ahah! Hahaha...
[Mickey yelps again]
Fire in my hole! I'm searching for Pluto but I got hit in my Uranus!
Rob: Mickey has a match?
Doug: Disney was a smoker, so Mickey is a smoker.
Rob: At the sound of the tone, it'll be Death 'o Clock.
Doug: I don't have any lungs or lips, but take this!
Rob: Oh, it's the newest reality show, "Practical jokes and Satan."
Mickey: Pluto...
Doug: Do~
Doug: Do~ Re~
Doug: Do~ Re~ Mi~
Doug: Do~ Re~ Mi~ Fa~
Doug: Do~ Re~ Mi~ Fa~ -BOO
Doug and Rob: Dammit, Frank!
Mickey: Pluto...
Doug and Rob: Piss off!
Rob: Y'know, I get the dog, I'm just not for the life of me understanding the chicken.
Doug: So this is how Chick-fil-A comes up with their sandwich ideas!
Doctor: And now...
Rob: Good god Dog, Where's your junk?!
Doug: I splice you Gangnam Style!
Doctor: I'm a raring, tearing wizard when it comes to cutting up!
[Laughs]
Rob: I guess it was pretty funny.
Doctor: - A chicken's gizzard on the wishbone of a pup.
Rob: Woah! Seriously! You should get that looked at! I'm a doctor you know!
Doctor: Here's the great experiment -
- I'm just about to tackle:
Doug: Human Centipede for kids!
Doctor: - the next result will bark, or crow, or cackle!
[Evil laugh]
Rob: Y'know, I gotta hand it to him, the science seems pretty legit.
Doug: Yikes! Bob Barker was right! Spay or neuter folks!
Mickey: Pluto!!
Rob: H.P Lovecraft's Mouse Trap, it's the scariest game for ages 3 to the grave!
Doug: Free hugs!
Rob: I thought we had something!
Doug and Rob in monotone unison: We just saw Transformers 5.
Doug: Heads up!
Doug: Heads up! Keep ahead!
Doug: Heads up! Keep ahead! Head him off!
Doug: Heads up! Keep ahead! Head him off! Heads will roll!
Doug: Heads up! Keep ahead! Head him off! Heads will roll! Head pun.
Doug and Rob: DAMMIT, FRANK!!
[Mickey yelps]
Doug: Sorry, it's my thing.
Rob: This is what Jehovah's Witnesses wish they could do at every door.
Oh! Shelob! Have you lost weight?
Doug: This is actually what Sam Raimi's Spider-Man 4 was gonna look like.
Must have gotten him in the funny bone.
Rob [Talking about Doug]: I have no brother.
Rob: Eat my S!
Doug: Oh, Good God!!
[In a lame-brained voice] A family picture!
[In a lame-brained voice] A family picture! From Hell!
Rob: That very specifically sounds like Pluto's shadow being cut in half!
Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ!
I can't even- Who does this?
Why have six doors if only the last one's locked?!
Doug: This is some Goofy-crap right here!
Well nice knowing you Pluto! This was your last episode!
Ah! Another proud volunteer to watch The Emoji Movie!
Mickey: Pluto!!
Rob: It's like a salon run by Morticia Addams!
Sorry! I was thinking of joke from Big Bang Theory! That's how you know I'm evil!
Apparently Mickey's a little dusty in the groinal department.
Doug: Minnie has a lot of headaches.
Rob: Bugs Bunny says, "Merry Christmas, ya little shit!"
Doug: You expect me to talk?!
No, Mister Mouse, I expect you to squeak!
[Mickey whimpering]
Doug: See kids? This is what happens when you eat at Arby's before bedtime.
Rob: But they have the meats!
[Mickey screams in surprise]
Holy crap! That was way worse than Donald's dream about becoming a Nazi!
[Mickey repeatedly calling for Pluto]
Doug: Hey kids, what have we learned today?
Rob: That a story about a boy and his dog can be made better with buzzsaws,
skeletons and a creepy scientist who makes the Marquis de Sade look like Mister Rogers.
Doug: You might be wondering where Minnie was in all of this!
She was the Doctor's first victim.
Bye!!