-Sorry, I can't go through with this, I was gonna pull a prank
-[Gasps] No! -Yeah.
I hired these guys in ski mask to kidnap us,
and I was gonna pretend to be a hero --
they were gonna shoot me and drive the van into the river
and that's when the divers would go in,
pull you guys out of the water
and I would be standing on the shore like,
"Hey, you get pranked much?"
-What the [bleep]?!
-Don't worry, no food in here, Kenneth,
just a donut box with a mouse in it.
-Oh, are the pranks men going after Lutz again?
-Someone say my name? -Hey, Lutz.
-Awesome, donuts!
[ Squeaking, Lutz screaming
-[Gasps] Oh!
-Where is my desk?!
-Warmer, hot, red-hot!
Hot! Very hot.
[ Telephone ringing ]
♪♪♪♪
-Dwight Schrute. -Hi, Dwight, um,
what sort of discounts are we giving
on the 20 pound white bond
-Jim, I've given you this information, like, 20 times.
-I know. [ Toilet flushing ]
-It's by the ream?
-Hey, Scully. -Huh?
-We're sorry that we missed your party.
-Oh, don't worry about it, you all had stuff to do.
-Happy birthday from all of us -Thanks, guys.
You're the best. -Happy Birthday, Scully.
-I can't believe it, the fake birthday worked!
You're a genius!
-We're both geniuses!
♪♪♪♪
Thumbtack mug -- that was my thumbtack mug.
♪♪♪♪
-That's better.
[ Sighs ]
Last week, I was in a drug store,
and I saw these glasses.
Four dollars.
And it only cost me $7
to re-create the rest of the ensemble,
and that's a grand total of... $11.
-You know what, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery,
so I thank you.
Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!
Millions of families suffer every year!
-Michael!
-Oh, that's funny. Michael!
-Just put the knife down, okay You're not gonna hurt anybody.
-Stop telling me what to do!
-Aah!
-[Bleep]
[ Screaming ]
-Why...did you have to us...
my phone?
[ Groans, chuckles ]
-Oh... I get it.
Uh...you -- that -- fake.
-Happy Halloween.
-Ugh...
-You okay, Ron?
-Just a little tooth pain, I'm fine.
Continue. -Okay, each department
will be getting blue bins --
-[ Groans ] -Do you need to go
to the dentist, Ron?
-I don't like dentists -- just a second.
-Hey! -Oh, no, no.
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[ Screams, groaning ]
-What the [bleep]?!
-My God! -I'm sorry, everybody,
what were we talking about?
Recycling?
Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday,
but it's always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworker
that you are capable of withstanding
a tremendous amount of pain.
Plus it's always fun to see Tom faint.
[ Chuckling ]
-Who are you? -Who am I?
I'm Jim, we've been working together for 12 years.
Weird joke, Dwight.
-Jim! I got us that dinner reservation!
Greco's, 7:30. -Oh, great, can't wait.
♪♪♪♪
-Jim's at the dentist this morning,
and Steve is an actor friend of ours.
-I don't know who you are, but you are not Jim.
This is Jim!
Oh...
Oh, d-- Oh, how did --
Huh!
[ Laughter ]
-Oh! Oh, hey, man, meet our new employee, Jonah.
Meet Jonah. -He's got my --
you put my clothes on him, that's funny.
The name tag and...
So, everybody thinks he -- he looks like me?
-Not exactly like you, you're a little bit more like,
"Hey, it's me, Jonah, I like to eat croissants!"
[ Laughter ]
-Is that something I say, or...
-It sounds like something you would say!
-Yeah, or, like, "Have you see this documentary?
It will change your life!"
-Sounds kind of British.
-"I pretend to like jazz because it makes me seem cultured!
-"I'm Jonah, I peel bananas weird!"
-Well, that's actually a life hack, so...
"The stems create a natural holding stick,
that's why the monkeys do it."
[ Chuckles ]
♪♪♪♪
It's, um -- I saw that in -- in a documentary.
[ Laughter ]
-You baited the bear, huh?
-It's fine! I think it's funny.
It's fine, I'm fine. This is fine.
-Why's he holding the bananas wrong?
-It's humans that hold them wrong!
-Guys, I have a great idea for a prank --
before Holt comes in, I'm gonna put ink on the podium
where he puts his hands.
-I don't think he'll fall for that.
-I did. -How?
I haven't even opened this yet -Guess it's unrelated.
-Captain Holt hates pranks, this is gonna backfire, man.
-Ugh, fine, I'll tone it down, I'll...
move his podium a foot to the left.
-What?! He'll be so angry. -Okay, five inches.
-Five?! -Three?
-Three?! -One?
-One?! -All right,
I'll move it a half-inch. -Fine, it's your funeral.
-Oh, my God.
Worst prank ever, so stupid,
Holt's not even going to notice.
-Good morning.
You guys, the -- the podium, it's --
[ Laughing ]
You're crazy! How did you pull this off?