- I mentioned the Oscars were on Sunday,
and we saw people from London,
and we saw people from France,
and we saw Neil Patrick Harris' underpants.
[laughter and applause]
See, the old--
I thought it would be fun
to send my writers Kevin and Lauren
to cover the red carpet at the Oscars, and I--
'cause I like them very much, and they're funny.
And they said, "Oh, I don't think that's a good idea.
We're not gonna be good at that."
And I didn't believe them, but they were right.
They are not good. [laughter]
But there's a lot that we didn't show you,
and there's a reason why, but I'll show it to you now.
- Those are the hundreds of press people
that we are gonna have to claw and compete with
to bring you the best interviews tonight.
- I'm scared. - We're really scared.
And right behind us, Kim Kardashian.
[laughter]
You look so gorgeous.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
- Thank you for stopping by. - Sure.
[both laughing] - We're terrible at this.
- Yeah, you guys are awful at this.
- We've never done this before,
so we don't even know what we're doing.
- We've never done it before. - Do you need help?
- Yeah. - We need a lot of help.
- Aren't you supposed to ask questions?
- Yeah.
- For the first half of the red carpet,
we only held the microphones to ourselves.
- Oh, no. - Yeah, no.
They would come by-- [laughing]
- Should I ask you guys-- - Yes, please.
- Yes. That would be great. - Where are you guys from?
- New Jersey. - Tucson.
- Oh, really? Where in Jersey?
- East Brunswick. - I love downtown Tucson.
- It's the best, right? - It is the best.
- Where did you grow up? - Where are you from?
- I'm from Manhattan. - Oh.
We're getting better at this, I think.
- Yeah. - Thank you so much.
- Well, now we know a little bit about each other.
- This was really in-depth. - We learned.
Thank you so much. [both laughing]
- Such a fun night.
Let's talk about you. How are you feeling?
- I'm good. I'm really good.
Really great. No pressure.
Yeah. - Congratulations.
- You look beautiful. - Have fun tonight.
- We will. - [laughs]
- We're the fun. - Yep.
all: Hi. - Hello.
Nice to see you. - Good to see you.
Congratulations. - Yes, congratulations.
- Your movie was so phenomenal.
- Thank you. I appreciate that.
Thank you very much.
- How are you feeling tonight?
- I feel great.
- Julianne Moore. - Julianne Moore.
- Julianne Moore.
- Julianne told us to tell you that she says hi.
- Octavia. - Octavia.
- You could tell she wanted to talk to us.
- Yeah, she wanted to talk to us.
- But she couldn't. - But she wasn't able to.
- No, the show starts in 45 to 55 minutes...
- She had to hurry up and get in.
- So she's got to get in there.
- Anna.
Who are you excited to see today, Anna?
- Anna, who are you wearing, et cetera?
- She is so nice. - She's so sweet.
- She's so nice.
- Hi, Will. - How are you?
- Hello, how are you guys doing?
- Great. - So awesome.
How are you is the question.
- Oh, I'm chillin'.
[both chuckle]
- Lupita. - Lupita.
- Lupita. Lupita's brother.
- Lupita's brother. - Lupita's brother.
We need you.
We can't get Lupita Nyong'o's...
both: Brother.
- He got taken away. - He got taken away from us.
- This is a tough business. - Whoo.
- This is terrible.
- We are not doing great out here.
- We have Emma Stone's mother. - Emma Stone's mother.
- This is a "Ellen Show" exclusive.
- No, we never would.
- With those beautiful eyes,
why would we put you on television?
- [laughs]
- This is an exclusive mom and daughter interview.
- Yeah, this is very exciting.
- Your mom and daughter interview.
- They're telling you you have to take your seats,
but Lauren has to tell you one thing first.
- What's up?
- Well, I got some best friend necklaces, and I was just
wondering if maybe you would like to be my best friend--
if you were interested in that sort of thing.
- I don't think I can wear it right now because--
- No, I wouldn't want-- no, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you can just, like, keep it with you forever.
- Oh, my God. I love it. Thank you.
- Do you want "best" or "friends"?
- I like "best." - Okay.
I'll be "friends."
- Because I am the--
Bye. [all laugh]
- Here's some people.
[people speaking indistinctly]
- [laughs]
- Jared.
- You too. - Have a great night.
Wow, that is Jared Leto telling us to have a great night.
- To have a good night.
And he totally stole your haircut.
- Yeah.
- Bradley Cooper. - Bradley Cooper.
- Meryl Streep. - Meryl Streep.
- Oprah Winfrey. - Oprah Winfrey.
- All people we have not seen or talked to.
- Have not seen tonight.
[cheers and applause]
- Aw, thank you, Kevin and Lauren.