I had a great conversation with one of my patients recently where he went out of town
to see his girlfriend or his lady friend right the problem is that he got out of town with his
girlfriend and he woke up in the middle of the night just ready to go and so they went and this
was day one of the trip right day two nothing day three nothing day four nothing he gets back home
and it's really kind of in the in the in the dumps about what happened so um you know so he's a new
patient to me and uh he hasn't heard me speak about this and you may not have heard me speak
about this either but when you are away for the weekend and you want to perform so you got two
or three days with somebody and you want to make sure that it is a great situation you should not
ejaculate day one there it is see here's the thing we're so excited to be there so it's it's
new place maybe even a new person whatever have you it's new so you're excited and that's great
but the mistake that too many guys are making and I don't want you to make the mistake is
that he goes ahead and finishes on day one but let's talk about what happens after you finish
every time you have sex and you ejaculate afterwards you're just kind of like huh
okay some space would be nice okay that was okay or looking over like uh I shouldn't have
done this you know right we've all been there but what that is two things are happening there
after you've had this post-ejaculatory moment now your body takes a minute to reset itself right
um so it's taking a minute to reset itself but what's even more important is that your brain
is now just not as turned on about it as it was you know so we forget that men
have to be turned on too they have to want to do it up here too so if the brain chemistry
isn't there if the dopamine levels have kind of plummeted then you don't have the ability
to get to to get back hard very quickly and what you'll notice is that after you did that first big
one the second one you know maybe a little less you know you may not have gotten this hard may
have taken a little longer so what you want to do is you want to prolong ejaculation right so
so imagine you're in the throes of passion things are going great make sure your partner is is is
turned on and then you want to take care of their business and then you kind of want to
back off and save yours right so at this point your partner is like oh my goodness
where is it I want it you know like that may be my favorite part well T is the partner let them know
well it's not time for that just yet and see if you save it until the next day now you're stronger
you have more power you are ready for it you know when when the Olympians decided that they weren't
supposed to have sex before Olympic matches it wasn't because of the sex it was because of the
ejaculation and The post-ejaculatory Hangover that men have so what you want to do avoid The
post-ejaculatory Hangover so that you can actually get hard and stiff again in a way that you like
without being like dang I did it once why how come it's not doing it again so the moral of that story
is to reinforce the fact that when you want to be performing a couple days in a row three days in a
row you want to save it okay because you know if you've been following me then you know too that
I'm a strong advocate of not doing that every day you know holding off on that actually you
know by the time you're in your 50s and your 60s you really should be holding that and not doing
it more than two or three times a month actually and this is based off of scientific data this is
based off of ancient cultures find one ancient culture that was very much into you know men
being Warriors and being strong and being virile find one ancient culture that told them all to go
and ejaculate every day you will not find it they all whether it's ancient Chinese culture ancient
ancient cultures in Africa ancient cultures all over the world say the same thing and they set it
for a reason so when you go on those trips hold it do not succumb to it so then you know as you
as we go through here and you're learning with me and we're hanging out here you learn how to hold
it and how to not let it go because once you let it go you have no control over what happens next
but as long as you contain it and you control it you do have control over what happens next
yeah so what we find is that the one thing that I can do for a gentleman especially a guy in his
30s and 40s who comes to me and says Dr Rachel I just it's just not like what it used to be uh so
on and so forth blah blah blah one of the biggest shifts that I can make is if I can convince him
to stop ejaculating so much you know watching TV and just uh you know in the shower and just if I
can get him to hold on to that a little longer and hold off on it he is becomes a better lover he's
stronger he is has more stamina for everything all the way across the board so holding back and
delaying is really going to be one of your biggest secrets to you know being where you want to be
sex only two of them won't see you're not hearing me Victor I just
I did only two or three times a month said ejaculating two or three times a month there's
a big difference there unfortunately porn has made us think that you're supposed to ejaculate every
time every time you do any little thing and it's just not the case it's just not the case so if you
want to be stronger and you know do an experiment with yourself go ahead and say you know what
I think she's crazy but I'm gonna try it and I'm gonna try it for the next 30 days I'm just gonna
hold off and every time I have sex I'm gonna be like oh nope not not doing it today and then
I want you to go back and have sex start back and what you'll see is you've become a stronger
lover you last longer you're more in tune and in touch with what it is that you're doing how can
one have sex and holding back without ejaculate great question so one thing if you want to be
able to hold back your ejaculate and be in control of when you ejaculate ejaculate and
your partner wants you to be in control of that right because it's no fun if you finish way before
your partner your partner's just like ah it's finished so what you want to do is you want to
last through your partner and then control when and if you go right so one of the best
ways you can set yourself up for success is to start doing your dick UPS right now
dickups are going to help with a PC Flex some people call them kegels whatever you want to
call them because you need to strengthen the pelvic floor enough so that you can
use your pelvic floor to stop ejaculating its tracks but also use it to to last longer be be
stronger have stronger erections so pelvic floor strength is such a big part of it and
the only way to have any control over when and if you you do ejaculate is to strengthen your
pelvic floor now let me say this too so many of you reach out to me and just kind of tell
me what's going on and you know ask for a little feedback let's be clear I want you
to find somebody to practice these things with okay it doesn't do us any good if we're just
getting harder and stronger for you and the television and you and the computer right I
want you to stop being afraid to be with somebody you know you're afraid that maybe if you're with
them it's not going to work how you want it to Let's remove that fear a little bit because if
you have a reason to get harder you start to get harder but if you don't have a reason and that
reason being somebody that you find attractive somebody that you find exciting then it's it's
it's it's it's dead in the water right so if you don't have anyone to have sex with currently
our goal this week is to find somebody you like and start talking to them courting them whatever
you want to do text them DM them whatever so that you can have it set up so that when you feel ready
with your newfound strength and skill then you are ready to go so please please please please please
step one let's find somebody to be intimate with you know what this doesn't have to be the perfect
somebody you know it's just somebody that you like that you're attracted to that can help you get
turned on right because it's hard to turn yourself on and it's much easier to practice and to do some
of these things if you have someone to do them with now you can find somebody you're attractive
you are strong you're a guy you know just get out there get some phone numbers that's how it
all starts right if you want to slide in their DMS and send them messages online that you know
that'll get you somewhere too but next time you're in the grocery store I know it's it's much easier
to approach people with a mask on now you know if you're a little shy just compliment him or her
on something and start the conversation and say look I gotta run but let me get your number and
maybe we can we can get together and have dinner sometime bam it's done so please if you don't
have anyone to have sex with right now anyone that you're interested in let's find somebody