You smell of gardenia.
I do.
You smell very good.
Wow, good nose.
Thank you very much.
Good nose on you.
[LAUGHTER]
I love that smell.
I do, too.
Some people really don't like it.
Really?
Yes.
I got a couple of mean looks on the way down the corridor,
but I'm glad you like it.
I don't think it was about that.
Maybe somebody was angry about something else.
Who would be mad at gardenia?
Who would?
Exactly.
Nobody.
Patchouli has a very either you love or hate patchouli.
That's a mixed response because it can go into the dirty socks
territory.
It certainly can.
It's either someone's wearing patchouli,
or they have dirty socks.
And if you like patchouli, it comes in handy
that you don't have to clean your socks.
Anyway.
[LAUGHTER]
How was your summer?
It was good.
I didn't really have a summer-summer.
My daughter and I went back to England for a really long time.
We went from Easter till June.
So we had a long time there.
Just in time for the swine flu epidemic,
which was great, very relaxing.
I don't understand the swine flu thing.
What do you mean just in time for that?
Isn't that kind of everywhere?
Is it just in England?
It was just sort of rocketing then.
So lots of people we knew were getting it.
Lots of people you knew had swine flu?
Yes, my best friend's kids both had it.
It was quite an ordeal.
And then it was very, very hot, which doesn't often
happen in England.
And it can't really handle it.
So we don't have air conditioning.
Or ice.
Y'all don't like ice, either.
Yeah.
You're very chintzy with the ice.
If you order something, there's one cube in it,
maybe, if you're lucky.
A little, melted, sad one.
Yeah, a melted cube that is lonely.
A lonely cube.
You don't get a good, healthy, big one, no.
No, why don't you like ice or air conditioning there?
I love it, but I've converted, you see, because I lived here.
So I was quite shocked.
I had not been back for any real length
of time in about seven years.
So then I realized if you leave your window open
where we were staying, lots of these tiny, little flies
would come.
I spent most of my time in England dodging swine flu
and vacuuming flies off the ceiling.
It wasn't the best summer for me.
And then I got mono.
That's how you get rid of flies is you vacuum them
off the ceiling?
Well, blowing didn't work.
That's a lot of flies that you're vacuuming flies.
There's a wall of flies.
Little, tiny--
Gnats or things?
Like green flies.
Green flies?
Yes, do you call them aphids?
I'm getting technical now.
I know what aphids are, but aren't they
like white, powdery things that are on plants?
Oh, they're little green things that go on roses.
Anyway, they came to my house and hung out a whole bunch.
This is my favorite interview ever.
I like all of it, so far.
Oh, good.
I'm happy.
So you vacuum the aphids.
Got the aphids, got swine flu, then I got home.
Well, you didn't get the swine flu.
No, but I got mono.
How's that?
The kissing disease?
Yes.
And guess who's the only other person who got it?
My mother, which is weird and creepy.
And we're close, but it's not that creepy.
Not that close.
Yeah.
No, so you and your mother had mono at the same time?
My mother still has it.
I mean, I'm relatively geriatric for mono.
But my Mother's really old for it, so I don't know.
So you had mono?
Had mono.
And if your mother had it at the same time,
then you had no one to take care of you?
Oh, no.
I staggered about.
I didn't realize I had mono for the longest time.
I thought I was just a little, tiny bit depressed and really
tired.
But then by the time I figured out I had mono,
it was on its way out.
So it was a good summer then?
It was great.
It was really nice to come home.
And your daughter is how old, now?
She's almost 11.
She just went back into fifth grade, today.
But she goes to school here?
She does, yeah.
She went to school there, while we were there.
I think that would be interesting.
I think a lot of people think that would be hard,
but I think it's an interesting childhood
to go to school here, in the United States,
and then go abroad.
Yeah, I don't think we can do it for very much longer
because it all gets very sort of pubic and social soon.
And I think you have to stay in one place.
Did you say pubic just now?
[LAUGHTER]
Am I not allowed?
I slipped it by.
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
This show, between the Housewives yesterday and you,
it's getting dirtier and dirtier.
And you're hanging out also with the Beckhams, right?
Is that what--
I have done.
Not every day.
I heard you were friends with David Beckham.
Yes, I mean, I'm friends with Victoria.
And he's often there.
Right.
Weird how that worked out.
Is that why you're friends with her, because he's often there?
No, that would be horrible.
What do you mean?
He's good looking.
He's good.
I've got one of my own.
Yeah, you have a good-looking husband, too.
I have a good husband, yes.
But yeah, when we see them, my husband, he's OK.
He's all right.
[CHEERING]
Yeah.
Don't kick a ball in his direction
because he'll run away.
No, he's a good-looking man.
What is your daughter scared of there?
I know.
Look at that.
I think I must be pressing her really
hard with one of my fingers.
Maybe so.
I don't know.
It's a sort of Vulcan squeeze.
And now, is this true?
How long have you lived here?
Almost 6 and 1/2, 7 years.
And you don't have a driver's license?
Oh, God.
No, I don't.
And why not?
And how do you get around?
Bus?
Yeah, I stand there until someone picks me up.
My husband still likes me, so he gives me lifts.
I know I should have done it.
It's becoming sin.
My daughter's talking about her driving license.
And I have to make it before she does.
Before your daughter, yeah.
But I did.
I was going to, this summer.
And I ordered that incredibly boring book of road signs,
and car seats, and--
It's not really a book, so much it is a pamphlet.
It's not like you curl up on the sofa
and read the road sign book.
Largely, because of how dull it is.
I was all ready to do that.
But what, with the mono, the swine flu, and then I got that,
it was just a deadly--
it was so dull.
Well, yes, you'll find it comes in handy, though,
when you start recognizing those signs.
I know, but it's just you have to do
that first before you have the practical fun of making
a vehicle actually move.
Right.
Have you made a vehicle move?
Have you been in one?
In my life, I have.
Like in a movie, what do you do?
Can you--
They drag me along.
They drag me along on another vehicle.
Oh, they pull you from the truck that's filming you?
Yes.
It's like a handicap.
It's really like a disability.
That may be how you'll drive the rest of your life,
seeing as you don't want to read that boring handbook, anymore.
I will read it.
I will.
I just get overwhelmed with--
there's a lot of details that you don't necessarily
need, do you?
You do need?
You do need them?
Yeah.
They don't put anything in there extraneous.
Really, all of it's pretty pertinent.
Well, right.
I did fail the test once.
I did take that written test here.
I went to the DMV.
It's called that, isn't it?
It is.
Stop it.
I'm from England.
I'm not just with--
I went to the DMV, and I failed it on something like,
how many units of alcohol?
Exactly what 0.001 of alcohol should you not have
had, or something like that.
And I just thought, well, just don't drink any.
That's safe.
Yeah, but that's not the right answer.
Oh, you can't say, just don't drink?
No, you have to say it's like a very long and boring number.
Oh.
And I failed miserably on it.
I'll get there.
I will study with you, if you'd like.
Would you?
I will help you study.
I think I need a buddy.
Thank you.
I do.
Yeah.
We have to take a break.
We'll be back with-- you have a hidden talent?
I do.
We'll be right back with Kate Beckinsale.
[APPLAUSE] So the movie is called Whiteout,
and it's supposedly filmed--
In the Antarctic.
Right.
In the South Pole.
But you didn't go there at all, right?
No, but I felt like we did.
It was unbelievable.
It was -50 where we went.
We went to Manitoba in Canada.
In Canada.
Manitoba or just Canada?
Canada!
Canada.
Yeah, I love Canada, but I can't imagine being in 50 below.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm not very good at maths.
I'm really good at some.
So I only come here because I'm really bad at driving, maths.
So this is real?
This is not like wind machines and stuff like that?
Some of that is not.
Some of that was inside.
But outside, we had some of that, yes.
And it was -15.
You'd come out of your trailer.
And the first day, I think I had some quite butch line
of, oh, we found a body.
Or what are we going to do about this?
I went to do my butch face and go [GASPING]
and my whole lung froze.
And I couldn't get any out.
So I made a few goes of that.
And we eventually warmed up to it,
but your eyelashes would get icicles on them.
How do you do anything, make up, or--
because don't your eyes water?
Yes, and then you breathe on your hair a little bit.
And then that goes into a kind of stiff point.
And then they have to crack your hair.
But how were your lips not-- because I was watching you
during the film, going, how is she talking normally without it
being that numb lip feeling?
They were somewhere.
Some of it was inside, and then we
had the reverse problem, where we're in these giant clothes.
And they're throwing little tiny bits of potato
at you, which is the snow.
That was also fun.
But yeah, it's pretty difficult to get a word out.
Yeah.
And now, you have a hidden talent
that I guess you're going to show us that I
heard you have something?
Well, I feel bad.
What do you have?
Now, I saw that pogo-ing man going 60 feet in the air.
It's not so much a talent as it was a good way
to get out of a boring class at school.
Like I can do a very convincing sneeze.
And if you do several in a row, people
ask you to leave the room.
And then you can go and do something else.
Well, by all means, let's all learn that.
Ready?
Yeah.
Do you want one, or do you want a small volley of them?
Well, let's start with--
Volley?
Oh, OK.
Sure.
Like a realistic situation here.
So if I was in a biology class at school,
I might suddenly kind of go [SNEEZING]..
Sorry!
[SNEEZING] Like that, over and over again.
Wow.
[CHEERING]
That's really good.
Thanks.
That's impressive.
That's how come I'm not an astrophysicist because I did it
in science class.
And you didn't have to learn anything that way.
Became an actress.
And I also happen to know this is not a secret.
You've talked about this before, that you
have very, very large hands.
I do have quite big hands.
You probably don't want to.
I've just sneezed seven times.
Do you?
I don't have swine flu anymore.
Let me see, because I heard that you have really, really
large hands.
That's big.
Yeah, that's large.
So I got you a gift.
So if you're filming outside ever again and need--
Oh, thank you so much!
I'm putting them on immediately.
[MUSIC PLAYING]