- Think back to all those moments in life
where you knew you were growing up.
It might've happened when you
first learned how to tie your shoelaces
and you could paint better than any one of your friends.
Now thinking that you were a grown up.
Or that boy who sat across from you in class
and annoy you so much,
you started to look at him with different eyes.
When I was five, I looked up at my mom
and proclaimed with complete certainty,
I love you and dad so much
I don't ever want to leave home.
My freckled little face, gazing up to my mom
who was the love of my life.
Let's fast forward.
I remember that itch.
All of a sudden, when I was 16
and wanted nothing more than to leave home
and make all my own choices.
Let's fast forward to now.
Where I am living on my own
and make all my own choices.
Here I am
eating a mixture of everything
that was about to expire in my fridge.
I'm using a plastic fork
because somehow I have zero spoons,
three plastic forks and way too many knives.
(alarm clocking ringing)
I pour my first cup of coffee for the day,
I take a sip of that heavenly drink.
Now coffee is slowly replacing my blood.
When I turned 18,
I felt as if the moment I blew out my candles
I was handed with this responsibility galore.
It can be gradual or all at once,
but you wake one day and you realize
you're in the diver's seat of your own life.
Speaking of which,
excuse me, when did everything cost money?
Also, why is my fridge empty?
Are you telling me that doctor's appointments
won't just happen?
I start putting up reminders.
Things I realize I need to start doing on my own.
And these thoughts make me realize how much
I took my parents for granted.
Now realizing a different kind of love I have for them.
Seeing them less and less as mom and dad
and more and more as just Lisa and Harry.
So here I am.
Still somehow turning all my white sheets pink.
Getting locked out of my own place
and realizing some days
my biggest accomplishment is actually eating a vegetable.
Nonetheless, I love where I am.
I love the woman I'm becoming.
It's fun and nerve wracking to let go of your innocence.
But I'm taking in more perspective
and learning how to take care of myself
with my own first aid kit.
Because it can be daunting
at the work of loving myself
and taking care of myself
is now all my responsibility.
And that's a big step.
And that's okay.
You know why it's okay?
Because I have noticed how few rules there are
to being a grown up.
And I love the fact that we are all still learning.
And along the way,
it's important not to forget
the children we once were.
I'll keep scraping my knees,
I'll keep wearing my busted up sneakers,
dancing in grocery stores till strangers join.
I'll still make a fool of myself in public.
And get paint on every inch of my skin.
I'm growing up.
And I'm growing up the way I like,
keeping things a little silly.
Enjoying the mundane.
So dear, grown up Sonia.
I hope you are doing the same.