Hello everybody!
My name is Markiplier and welcome to
Whose Line!
If you saw "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
we're doing the same thing.
We got little bits of paper that you guys wrote
and tweeted out to us.
And we're gonna do some basic improv
with basic scene works (Wade...sniffed Ethan's hair)
BUT
we have to inject these lines
into some, occasional, places.
WE HAVE NO IDEA how this is going to go
because we've never done it before- it's Ethan
that suggested this.
Ethan: YEAH
He even decided that we should do this so we're gonna do this
because we also like to do improv.
SO
Are you ready?
Ethan: Ready!
Alright! Whoever 's in that seat, Wade's seat,
is gonna decide what we're doing.
Bob: You are-...
bakers...
and you're-
in early- and you're just trying to get all the stuff ready
to open the shop.
*Mark grunt-groans*
Tyler: So tired
Mark: Frank, we gotta stop pullin these late nights
The doughnuts ain't worth this.
Tyler: Ugh, let me get the flour
(Mark groans in annoyance)
Mark: Is it sugar?
Spice?
Somethin' nice??
Tyler: I coulda sworn it was somethin' else
Let me look at the recipe
-mumbled- What's in there?
Mark: Yeah, what does it say?
What does it say?
Tyler: "Blueberries have feelings too
"and I-..
"I would be happy if you respected that."
*serious faces*
*the group giggles*
Mark: Fuuck blueberries...
Tyler: But- man-
Mark: FUCK blueberries!
Tyler: We need to stop putting them IN the doughnuts!
Mark: FUUCK Blueberries!
-voice lowers with sentence- I'm puttin 'em in everything
Tyler: THEY HAVE FEELINGS
When you kill them, they feel it
Mark: I know
That's what I like about it...
I like killing things.
-really fast- SPECIFICALLY BLUBERRIES
I don't want to seem like I'm a murderer of anything I wa-
I like killing blueberries- I want to be very specific about that
...
but fuck those bluberries
Tyler: I-I can't stand the way they scream
Mark: I know
Tyler: Wha-
Mark: You know what they say to me?
In the darkest of nights
when I'm stabbin' 'em
and they're screamin' at me-
You know what they say?
"Frickity frack the snick sack is back"
*the group giggles*
-intense- THE SNICK SACK IS BACK
Tyler: No!
Mark: I'm coming for those blueberries!
Tyler: No
Mark: IT'S ME
*suiting up sound effects*
I'm the Snick-Snack!
*group laughs more*
You know why I was doing those late nights?!
-whispers- I was snickin..
I was snackin
Tyler: Not on the blueberries!
Mark: Ohh~
On more than the blueberries
-laughs at beginning- You think the world is just about blueberries??
Tyler: I thought it was about our doughnuts...
Mark: So naive
-whispers- There's more to this world than doughnuts
There's more!
Tyler: You're right...
"sharks are not supposed to fall from the sky"
Mark: ...
WHO ARE YOU TO TELL THE SNICK SNACK
WHAT HE AND SHE CAN NOT DO!?
That's right, I'm both-
EY!
*group giggles*
Don't you dare...
tell me sharks can't fall from the sky.
I STARTED THIS DOUGHNUT SHOP!
IIIIII bought the first flour.
-whisper- and the snick snack...
killed the first...
blueberry.
Tyler: I was wondering where all the blueberries went they're all-
NEVER IN THE SHOP
Mark: Didn't you ever read the shop's slogan?
-whisper- Listen close
"...
"hakuna your own matatas"
*more giggling*
It's a wonderful phrase!
Tyler: You're telling me I need to open my OWN doughnut shop
and NOT make blueberries?
Or that I'm supposed to-...
Mark: It's kind of one of those open interpretation slogans
You know, I wanted it to inspire people
or something like that
LIKE I SAID
-fast- I don't want to kill anybody but blueberries
I made that very clear in the beginning of this
I'm not a murderer.
Tyler: But I am.
Mark: Oh-
Tyler: You know what I say before I kill?
Mark: What?
"My mom wou- makes weird sounds at night"
Mark: OH
That's sex.
Tyler: Are you having sex with my mom?!
Mark: NO
GOD NO
I LITERALLY JUST kill blueberries
I don't do ANYTHING else wrong-
the Snick Snack is really not that bad a villain-
it's just kinda fun at night-
I do not.
No.
Tyler: Then who's boning my mom?
Mark: Probably your dad!
If I had to guess!
Tyler: He's alive?!
Wade: End Scene
*all laughing*
Tyler: Bar joint
He's the bartender, you know him really well
you guys are, like, really good friends
'cause you always get drunk together
Ethan: So, Bobby, you'll have the usual I presume?
Bob: Make it a double
I'm gettin fired tomorrow
Ethan: Ohhh
Sorry to hear that
Why's that happenin'?
Bob: Weeeelll
I-
may have groped my boss' daughter..
*silence*
Look!
Ethan: That is a LOT WORSE than I
thought you were gonna say!
*Mark laughs*
Bob: I don't know if she's his daughter-
right?
But-...
Her last name's the same,
and when I got to the house, his car was there
so, I was like,
"maybe I should bail on this"
*Mark giggles again*
Ethan: Maybe you SHOULD'VE bailed on that
Bob: Anyway, I'm pretty sure he's gonna be pissed about it...
Ethan: He's gon- yeah!
You might-
You might get fired
but you might also get killed
Bob: yeah..
Ethan: That's a possibility!
Bob: I mean, I don't know if he saw me
but, like, I-
we walked- we walked up *Ethan making an unsure, high pitched hum sound*
and I ran when I realized it was his car
but he yelled out the front door
like, as I was running away
Ethan: Yeah
Bob: "Go outside and talk to a tree!
"Make friends with the tree!
"There's nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend!"
*the group giggles*
Ethan: Which- you know-
It-it seems like a ridiculous thing- to say at first
but, you know, maybe he was trying to
get you away from his daughter, you know-
BE FRIENDS WITH THE TREE NOT MY DAUGHTER
kind of thing, you know?
Bob: It- certainly scared me off
Ethan: Mm
Bob: And you think that- you know it could go either way
maybe he was just trying to be encouraging
and he was sad I was leaving
Um- yeah- I can be optimisic
Ethan: YEAH
*overlapping*
Ethan: Yeah maybe he WANTED you there!
Bob: His daughter found someone, right?
Ethan: Uh-huh
Bob: It's possible
Ethan: Yeah, he wanted you to be friends with the trees
I was in a similar scenario one time
And I was, uh-
I was
fraternizing with a- with a- with- with
with my-
with my friend's daughter and
he told me-
*group begins to laugh*
He told me
*group containing giggles*
"You make my cheese melt.
"Just like my heart"
He said that to me
Bob: Your friend said that to you??
Ethan: -laughing- yeah
Bob: He must've been all out of sorts if you
were fraternizing with his daughter-
how old was his daughter?
*Ethan stutters for an answer*
Ethan: - of age
*Mark laughs*
Bob: Maybe it's a cultural thing
Maybe I didn't do anything wrong
*group laughs*
I mean, both of us went the same way apparently
I don't know what happened
Ethan: I know
Ya know, he wanted you to be with the TREES
he wanted me to be with the CHEESE
Bob: Look-
I blame public schools, okay?
*group laughs louder*
It's not my fault. She's attractive
and..
GOD
My job sucks!
And-
she was-
what am I supposed to do??
You know what my health teacher told me?
about sex
This is how backwards public education is
Ethan: Uh-huh
This is the REAL issue here
Bob: MY HEALTH- MY SEX ED class
was just, the health teacher just marched in
the front of the class
and just put on a video. And when it finished she just went
"I have a lovely bunch of coconuts!"
and walked out and that was it!!
*group chuckles*
What am I suppose to-
How- I-
I don't know how to interact with girls
Ethan: I mean- did she??
Bob: ...
Oh- yeah
Ethan: That's what I- that's what I thought
gets ya every time
those coconuts
Bob: Yeah, Mrs: Johnson
She was old but, you know you could tell
...you could tell
Ethan: She had experience
*Bob and Ethan "yeah" back and forth*
Ethan: Anyway-
Mark: Scene!
*they all laugh*
Ethan: Okay, you're- you're burying your dog.
*Wade's crying for his poor doggo*
Wade: I keep diggin the hole
Mark: Nephew-
lots of things die
*Wade sniffles*
It was a dumb dog
Wade: It wasn't!
He was a great dog
*Mark's "eh" of "not really"*
Fido was a great dog!
Mark: Ehhh, Fido maybe drunk a little bit
Fido was a little bit of a mess-
Wade: That's because you gave him the alcohol
Mark: Well yeah, I mean, he was yellin' all the time
I decided to give him a lil nip
BUT, YA KNOW, IT'S OKAY
It's a learning experience
Is that the- oh my god
Wade: That was just a rock!
Mark: OH- okay
I thought you threw Fido
I've been drinking a lot
Wade: I can tell Uncle
Fyd-
Fyde-
FykerMyker
Mark: Thanks for pronouncing my original name
Wade: -weeping- I've had a little to drink too
Mark: AYE, you're a FykerMyker too, ya know
You're one of the family and I'm here to help ya through this
You want a nip?
Wade: I don't know what that means..
Thank you
That's a strange drink you have-
Mark: Ya know, your uncle's a strange man.
Wade: That you are, Uncle FykerMyker
Mark: Ohhh man
Do you remember what Fido used to say to me?
Looong ago
Wade: You were the only one he could ever talk to!
Mark: Oh! Yeah
That weird power I have to talk to dogs
doesn't come in handy
That's why I
had to shut that dog up
ANYWAY
He used to say to me
waaay back when
oh, man, when he was just a pup
"Hello everybody!
"My name is Markiplier!"
*everyone giggles*
That fuckin' dog wouldn't shut the fuck up
Wade: You always said that! But, you know
I never heard him say it
Mark: Yeah yeah, he said it
he said it
yeap
He said it a whole bunch
Wouldn't stop saying it
kept messin' it up too
yup
Kept sayin it over and over again
Ahh
-mumbles- fuck you Fido
Wade: Mom told me, s-she couldn't be here
she had to work, but
She told me to say a few words to Fido
and she wrote down what she wanted to say so
*Wade sniffles*
Lemme- before we move on
let me just say what she wanted to-
wanted to get out with-
Mark: Ol' Momma FykerMyker
Wade: She said
I'm sorry- it's just really having a hard-
Mark: I can understand that!
Your dog died
Wade: She said- *sniffs*
"On a scale from one to America
"How free are you tonight?"
You're very free Fido!
*Ethan giggling*
Wade: You're so free now! Mark: That's beautiful
Mark: -choked up- that's beautiful
Wade: I know you always wanted to be whatever
a Markiplier is but...
You're just our puppy...
And I love you Fido!
Mark: It's okay
Wade: HE'S ALL THE WAY TO AMERICA FREE!
*Wade weeps*
on a scale!
Mark: That is pretty free
That is pretty free
Wade: Can I have another swig Uncle FykerMyker?
Mark: No, you can't
That's what gets me in jail
Ah, FykerMyker can't go back
Wade: I won't tell this time
-whisper- H e y
It's okay
You're hurtin a bit
Wade: I am
I can tell ya
But before you drink!
Remember my old drinking song?
Hm?
Wade: Please remind me, I'd forgotten
Mark: OH, let's do it together, huh?
Wade: Okay
Both: ♪ "I love
♪ blowing up dogs ♪
Mark: ♪ blowing them to hell! ♪
♪ And down and back! ♪
♪ Put the TNT in the grave ♪
♪ Wind the wire over here ♪
♪ DRINK UP Little Billy ♪
♪ Here we fuckin' go~
💥 BOWM 💥
*Wade yells in terror*
Wade: His head's still there!!
Mark: Ohh, that's neat
I've never seen that before
Wade: I think he just said his name was Markiplier
Mark: Ah shut the FUCK up ya little dog
Wade: FIDO??!
Wade: Is that the normal way you bury dogs, Uncle FykerMyker?
Mark: Yes.
That's the FykerMyker way.
Mark: Now come on-
Wade: But I always thought-
Both: ♫ I love blowing up dogs! ♫
*song falls apart to giggles and mumbling*
Wade: But Uncle FykerMyker, you forgot one thing
Mark: What?
Wade: Our family motto
Before we sing the family song we have
to say the family motto together
Mark: Oh!
The family motto is,
"Please don't go in the basement"
*they start giggling*
Wade: ♫ IIII Love- ♫
Both: ♪ Blowing up dogs ♪
♪ Don't go down to the basement! ♪
Mark: So anyway!
That was Whose Line
which is- like
un-repentadly sto-
-mumbles- why am i the only one-...huh?
Ethan: Uh, I don't know
that's how the intro was
Bob: I thought we were gonna play some-
Okay
*Mark mumbling "nope" over both of them*
*Tyler laughs like a horse*
*then Mark*
So that was Whose Line
Uh- this was the first improv thing that
we've actually done. I mean-
The Don't Laugh thing is kind of improv
we're improvising what we do
But this is the first like structured-
*they all laugh- distinctly Tyler like a horse once again*
Bob: You okay buddy?
So, uh, we hope you enjoyed it!
We have no idea how it's going to turn out
uh
hopefully it's gonna be good- uh
And thank you all for participating
If you want to see this again or a different variety of it
there's, like, different games that we could do
Like, uh, Change Game
where you're doing a scene and then-
you say "change!" and you have to change what's done
Yeah! We could just mix and match
So let us know down in the comments below
Thanks again everybody for watching!
AND AS ALWAYS
We'll see YOU in the next video
Bye Bye!
Ethan: Byyye
*jazzy music outro*