- Back off Frank.
We work very well together, OK?
- We're the gruesome twosome! - (SHRIEKS) Gruesome twosome!
- Woo! - Ah-ee-ah-ee-ah-ee-ah-ee!
Yeah! Ooh, yeah!
Ah-ee-ah-ee-ah-ee! [BARKING]
[BARKING]
Ah-ee-ah!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Ay-oh!
There's my guy!
Ey!
Frankie!
What's up, man?
Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing here?
I thought you were out with your kids.
- Oh, you mind if I sit down? - Yeah, absolutely not.
Pop a squat, Frankie!
All right!
Give us a nice table, 'cause this is a big night for us.
We're celebrating our anniversary--
or, the anniversary of us moving in together--
Ay!
--which is like an annivers-- it's been a long time.
It's an anniversary, is what it is.
CHARLIE: Frank, Frank, Frank!
Before you do another thing, I wanted to give you a valentine.
Unbelievable.
You proposing to me?
Come on, man.
No.
I'm saying, we're already friends, right? (GROANS) Ah!
Let's be friends with benefits, right?
We'd be two cool straight dudes married together.
Ooh.
Well, I never thought of it that way.
What?
Two dudes getting married, that doesn't seem very gay.
Oh!
[CHEERS AND MERRIMENT]
Yeah, I forgot about your stupid, strange connection
with each other. What are you guys doing?
You guys doin' a AIDS thing?
Aw, yeah.
[CHUCKLING] Yeah, I gave Frank a couple
hickeys to sell the lesions.
Sucked on 'em.
When we wind up working the same broad,
no one eye contact between the two of us.
Wait, what?
And they're going to encourage us
to explore each other's bodies.
What?
And that's a hard no for me.
No for me, too.
Wait, what's about to happen?
I'm not sure I want--
We could--
[KNOCK AT THE DOOR]
--keep your fingers to yourself.
[EXASPERATED BREATHS]
But have a good time.
When was the last time we played
night crawler together, Frank?
Oh.
Ohhh, OK.
What-- what is that?
It's what it sounds like.
What it sounds like is that you two crawl around like worms
at night.
[SUCKS TEETH] This is not about you.
CHARLIE: Give me some money.
Let's go!
I'm your housemate, give me some money.
Here it is.
What is this?
I'm tightening the purse strings on this relationship,
until there's a little bit of give and take.
[VIOLINS PLAYING]
We're the gruesome twosome!
You don't have to keep saying it, I know who we--
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
The sound effects wont help you.
(CHANTS) Gruesome twosome!
That wouldn't further your argument in any way.
This is about you and me, bro!
This is about dudes living together,
hanging out, sharing their bed and their home and their life.
Charlie, we sleep ass-to-ass, you know that.
(SHOUTS) Who washed all the dishes, today, huh?
Nobody washed the dishes!
We eat the food directly off the coffee table, and you know it!
I cannot stand being married to you.
Oh, you can't stand it?
I'm gonna pull the plug.
(YELLS) You're gonna flush our marriage down the toiled?
- Right down the toilet! - Flush it, big boy!
Yes, there we go!
Flush it down the toilet, 'cause I don't care!
Oh, yeah?
Moving along to art holdings, all I'm seeing
is a series of drawings of elephants.
[GROANS]
[GROANS] Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Ah, well, Charlie did the elephant drawings.
Yeah, but I--
FRANK: You should keep 'em.
I did those for you, man.
I like 'em.
It's your turn to take the bedpan out, tonight.
(IMITATING CHARLIE) Not now, Frank!
(SHRIEKS) I did it last time!
I'll do it, only because I like you so much.
I like you too, Charlie!
(WEEPING) I like you, too, New Charlie!
CHARLIE: (DRUNKENLY SHOUTS) Well, why do we never play
night crawlers anymore, huh?
Well, Charlie, we could play that game.
CHARLIE: You promise?
- Yeah, we can-- - Hoo!
--yeah.
Yeah-ah-ah.
Police Academy-- [CHUCKLES] --which is a good movie, Frank.
It is a good movie, Charlie.
You want to go back and watch it?
With all my heart.
Ugh, Charlie.
[CHUCKLES] Charlie-eee!
[LAUGHTER]
I'll go back to living with Frank, 'cause I miss him.
Oh, Charlie.
That is so nice.
I miss you, too.
You back on my team?
If there's room for me.
[VIOLINS PLAYING]
There is always room for you, bud.
Give it to me.
Give it to me! Come on!
Yeah! [GRUNTING AND GROWLING]
CHARLIE: Yeah! FRANK: Yeah!
Yeah!
[LAUGHS]
We could go to sleep, or-- uh--
we could play one quick game of night crawlers
FRANK: Nope. (GROWLS) Argh!
You tappin' in?
[LAUGHS] I know you would be!
All right, let me get the light.
Let me get the light.
OK.
Darkness falls!
And magic stirs--
FRANK: Oh, it's scary.
It's scary.
--as we become the creatures of the night! (HOWLS) Argh-ooh!
Ooh-woo-woo.
Argh-ooh!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CLICK, CLACK]
[EXCLAIMS] [LAUGHS]