Heya playa, if you're getting ready for your very first date or you just want to know what
to expect on your first date, don't worry.
In this video I'm going to share several tips with you to get you prepared to know what
to expect on that first date so you can have a simple, fun and easy enough time that you
can ask them out a second time.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
This is a question I've received a lot.
Let's say you've worked up the courage to talk to your crush, now it's time for you
to ask them out and figure out how you can have a first date that's enjoyable.
Luckily, I've already put together a video featuring 10 amazing first date ideas which
you should definitely check out after this.
The purpose of this video is gonna be focused on developing the right mentality in that
type of situation.
One thing to remember is that if you're the one that wants to ask them out, then it's
on you to take charge to handle the whole setup of the date.
Leaving plans open or in the air by saying things like "I don't know, whatever you want
to do" doesn't convey confidence or certainty in what you're expecting from that person.
Also being more generic in the way that you ask them by saying something like "Do you
want to go out sometime?"
won't give you a specific result if you were to say something like "Hey, after school on
Friday do you want to go check out this ice cream spot with me?".
The more specific you are in what it is you want to do, the easier it'll be for the person
to give you a straight forward answer.
Plus, it shows them that you're inviting them into your world.
You're not just sitting around waiting for them to give you a chance, you're actually
creating a chance for them to take.
What you end up choosing to do on the date won't really change what your attitude should
be.
So there are a few universal things that you should understand if you want to have a great
first date experience.
Whether it's someone you've hung out with before or someone you've hung out with for
the very first time the goal is to create a safe, fun and comfortable environment with
them every single time you meet up.
If it's a first date, a lot of times people make the simple mistake of creating an initial
distance between you and that person.
Sometimes they'll stay a few feet away and just wave hi or just say hello with a nod.
What I recommend doing is putting on a big smile and going for a hug.
Now that doesn't always mean they're going to welcome a hug or want a hug when you first
meet, so be very mindful of that.
However, usually a hello hug really isn't a problem.
The reason why it's important to go for a hug right in the beginning is because it sets
the tone that there isn't going to be this awkward two or three feet between you guys
for the whole night.
You've already made physical contact so there isn't that awkwardness and reason to keep
your distance.
Besides, the more touch that happens between the two of you guys, the easier it'll be to
feel more comfortable.
I even made a video all about how to touch your crush without being weird or creepy about
it.
And now that you've already said hello and hugged them, the next easy step to take is
to start immediately talking about what you guys met up to do.
Try your best to not allow awkward silence to slip in at that point because that moment
right as soon as you guys meet is very crucial.
The more you start talking and the sooner you do it, the easier it'll be to get a natural
conversation flowing.
And talking about what you guys have planned for the day is an easy way to show them that
you're excited to do it and you're excited to spend that time with them.
Generally there are three types of things people do on dates.
One, is some kind of activity.
That might mean going to the movies, seeing a live band or doing something that requires
both of your guys focus and attention.
The second is eating together.
That might mean going to a restaurant, splitting a pizza pie or just going to get some ice
cream.
And the third is spending personal time together.
That might mean going for a walk, hanging out at someone's house or just generally spending
your time talking about each other with each other.
So setting up the perfect first date means knowing which of these three types of activities
you guys plan on doing together.
It could be one or all three of them.
A good example might be something like going to the movies together, going to grab pizza
and then going for a walk and talking.
And during each of these activities, try to work in questions or stories you could ask
them or talk about to help keep the conversation flowing while you're doing them.
If we're going with the previous movie example, you can ask questions like "When was the last
time you went to the movies?", "What's your favorite movie of all time?", "Hey, you know
the last time I went to the movies I went to go see...".
Or if you're going out to eat, you can say something like "Have you ever eaten at this
place before?", "What's your favorite type of food?", "Oh man, I'm so excited.
The last time I had pizza was...".
Or if you're just walking around together, you can ask questions and share stories like
"What do you like to do for fun?", "If you could travel to any country in the world,
where would you want to go?", or "Ever since I was a little kid, I've always wanted to
be" this, and then explain that story.
These are just a few examples of the different types of things that you could say, it's important
to be creative and to truly listen to what that person is telling you, because from what
they're telling you, you can ask follow up questions, I explain that in a little more
details in the video I'm sharing here in the cards with you.
As far as escalating the date physically between the two of you, look for simple moments where
you can make light gestures that you can tap them on the arm, or give them a high five
just to keep some kind of physical contact going throughout the night.
Each of these small steps throughout the night will eventually build the comfort that you
need to hold their hand, put your arm around their back or even kiss them.
Just remember you don't have to kiss on the first date, it's totally normal and you don't
have to feel pressured into doing so.
Kiss them when you both feel comfortable and ready to do so.
But even before you reach the end of the first date, try to look at different things you
guys talked about throughout the night to help springboard into you setting up the second
date.
Did they mention a movie they want to see or a place they want to eat?
Try to take note of those little things and mention to them that you're having a lot of
fun and that you want to do that thing with them.
Just don't wait for the total end of the night though because when you do wait for the end,
it ends up looking forced and rushed and doesn't seem like it's flowing natural between the
two of you.
What do you guys think, have you ever been on a first date before?
If you have, share your story below.
If you haven't, what do you feel is holding you back from asking out your crush and experiencing
that first date?
Once again, leave your comments below.
And once your date is over and you've said your goodbyes, there's nothing wrong with
shooting them a message to let them know you've had a fun time with them.
I know people say that you don't want to look too desperate or too eager but the way I see
it, there's nothing wrong with having a good time with someone and then feeling excited
and telling them "hey, I'm happy I spent time with you".
Don't let peer pressure convince you to not message them, to avoid them, to build mystery
into doing all those different types of things.
If you had a good time with them, you should always let that person know that you enjoyed
their company and you're really looking forward to seeing them again.
As always guys, love and peace.