It is said that many translators, even very strong ones, experience difficulty
when they have to explain to Americans the meaning of the Russian word "pilaf".
Many of them resort to the word "jambalaya".
And you know, I really like this word,
because here you have jazz, and samba, and mamba,
and even lay-lay-lay-delayla at the very end.
Cooking this pilaf is a pleasure,
take and put everything that God has sent you into a cauldron.
Don't forget the main rice. Here is Jambalaya for you.
They say that jambalaya was born in the French Quarter of New Orleans,
where for some reason they decided to cook paella.
And somehow things didn’t work out right away for them,
because they didn’t have any jamon for you, they didn’t have any chorizo ​​sausage.
They took their French lightly smoked raw sausages.
But you will laugh, I didn’t even have such sausages today,
so I bought ordinary smoked sausages.
And I assure you that everything we do is absolutely American,
because people there are quite rational.
If they don’t have some French raw smoked sausages, of
course, they will take what they have,
and they will cook for themselves, not thinking about anything.
In principle, these sausages can be fried or boiled and eaten,
but it will not be New Orleans.
Because I don’t need to sculpt a hunchback, as if I were playing jazz.
Guys, before playing jazz,
you must first learn notes, scales, arpeggios, sonatas,
and then improvise.
And in order for the real New Orleans jazz to sound from our cauldron, the
so-called green mixture should be added to the cauldron.
It's very simple,
onions, celery and bell peppers are definitely green, all together.
If it happened in Central Asia,
then the cook would now fry these vegetables very decorously,
with feeling, sense and arrangement,
but if you are in New Orleans, and you are surrounded by a dozen two-meter foreheads
with such hands, with such fists,
then There is no haute cuisine here.
Gotta get the rice in soon. But wherever you are,
in Central Asia, in Ryazan or in New Orleans, the
choice of rice should always be given worthy attention.
Listen, you need to take large, large round-grain rice,
arborio, carnaroli. In a word, everything that suits well for risotto,
paella and even for Uzbek shavli.
This is the kind of rice we need.
Today, rice does not need to be soaked, not washed, not the case.
As soon as the vegetables become translucent,
fry rice in a hurry and run for spices.
This mixture is called cajun.
This mixture is widespread in Louisiana.
But who is stopping you from looking in culinary guides, on the Internet,
I don’t know, somewhere else, what this mixture consists of,
and try to compose it yourself to your taste.
So, voila, let's act, try, improvise, jazz.
On the other hand, those former oppressed people are doing well there in Louisiana.
They sell chicken broth in gallons in any supermarket,
4 liters, if you want a bucket.
And with us, if you want to have a good chicken broth,
you have to think with your head in advance.
You must have this chicken broth in the fridge.
And if you don’t have it, what to do,
open the tap and don’t worry, pour water.
In Uzbekistan, when a cook adds rice to a cauldron,
it becomes extremely important.
Everyone around him disappears.
He either fusses under the cauldron, lays firewood,
or he lovingly strokes each grain of rice.
Not so in Louisiana.
When an immense black mother puts rice in a cauldron,
she tells her assholes to immediately go wash their hands
and return to the table as soon as possible,
while she turns off the fire and covers the cauldron with a lid.
Tell me, please, where did you see an American
eat some food and not pour ketchup on it?
However, there, in New Orleans, there are such pharmacies.
They cook the so-called white jambalaya.
But normal, correct boys always add
something red to jambalaya,
either Maheev ketchup, or fresh live mashed tomatoes.
And at this tragic moment, the black mother takes a spoon,
slaps her forehead with it and says:
"God, Jesus, I almost forgot to add salt."
Lord, mother, whether you salt or not, they will eat this food and not say thank you.
And at the very moment when everything is almost ready,
someone joyful flies into the house: "Mom, they smashed the store there."
Or he says: "In the evening there were discounts on morning shrimp,
and I decided to take a pack with me."
And now what i can do? Everything is lost?
Start cooking all over again?
Yes, everything is gone, nothing can spoil this mess.
Throw shrimp safely. Shrimps only need
to curdle the protein they contain.
And they would turn from translucent to white or pink, crispy.
And after the moment when shrimp was added to the jambalaya,
disputes usually begin in the family.
One says: "We must add green onions."
And the other says: "Now, as a lady in the forehead, not green onions, but green parsley."
And so that there are no quarrels and fights in the family, so that there is peace in the world,
and green pepper for war and girls,
add also a fresh young yellow bell pepper,
and be sure to add garlic too.
Precisely, truly, I tell you, beauty will save the world,
and also vitamins and good food.
Here are parsley, green onions, green peppers, fresh peppers and tomatoes.
Well, in the end, shrimp, rice, sausages.
In a word, everything is to fill the belly to capacity as it should be,
so that the guys have enough strength to play basketball,
so that the guys have enough strength to run,
to rap,
to grow up big, healthy, to obey and love mom and dad .
Everything, everything, do not rumble, I impose.
Stand around the table, close your eyes,
fold your arms on your chest and pray to the Lord for peace, for happiness,
for sending such good and tasty food even to those
who again, for the umpteenth time, no matter what.
And bon appetit!