- Today we're going to be reacting
to another favorite on this channel South Park. Yep.
We're going to be reviewing and breaking down all the crazy
medical type situations this show has to offer.
And you know, there's a lot.
- School is gonna make us all get shots again.
- But this time it's so that we don't get warts
in our vaginas.
(Kenny exclaims)
- Yep.
- That's only a vaccination for girls stupid.
- Oh my gosh! Okay. So I'm assuming they're talking about
vaccine for girls relating to HPV, which could then turn
into cancer in the future if somebody gets it.
So Human Papillomavirus.
You also give the vaccine to boys of similar age
because you don't want to be basically spreading it around.
- Then why are they saying they're getting vaccinated
at school is going to make us all retarded?
- Because some people think vaccinations can give you
Autism or Asperger's.
- (Jordan laughs)
Vaccines, yes vaccines are not 100 % benign
but they've debunked this topic
where vaccines give autism or Asperger's okay.
There hasn't actually been any documented
relationship between getting a vaccine and having autism.
But in general, vaccines are quite beneficial compared to the
negative aspects of vaccines.
- Eric what is it this time?
- Fever, light lightheadedness.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
- You don't feel warm.
- Oh, that's a relief, I thought maybe I had a fever
but oh, oh, oh, my buns. There's a sharp pain in my buns.
- Can you lay on your stomach?
- (Jordan laughs)
- I'll try, I'll try.
- The sharp, sharp pain in my buns.
Sometimes you may feel like you have a fever
but your skin temperature isn't warm.
Well, that just means your hypothalamus hasn't adjusted
basically your body temperature.
Some people actually be cold first before they actually
mount a fever, just so you are aware.
- Why are there hamburgers in your underwear?
(Jordan laughs)
- Are you serious? How can there be Oh my God!
You saying I have Asperger's?
- (Jordan laughs)
Oh my gosh!
No, it's not ass burgers. It's Asperger's.
It's a good laugh. Okay? Totally not appropriate, but no.
- Are you trying to sneak food into the school or something?
- What are you talking about?
I got vaccinated from the school
and now clearly I have Asperger's
- Very funny.
- Well, I'm glad you think Asperger's is funny.
Just note my condition on your records' there.
- Get out of my office.
- Wow! Asperger's is on the spectrum of autism.
Autism and Asperger's are neurodevelopmental syndromes.
And then basically there's difficulties in
social interactions and non-verbal communications.
- My school teacher wanted to be a woman
and you made him into one.
- Yes, he had a vaginoplasty
- There's lots of different plastys out there. Angioplasty,
which is relating to like new vessels to the heart.
Plasty has to do with like making new sort of things.
So vaginoplasty you're making a new vagina.
- You see, sometimes a woman wants to be a man,
That procedure is called a penoplasty.
- Yes. There's the opposite of a vaginoplasty
is penoplasty, which basically has to do with different
procedures that have to do with like lengthening of penis,
making one larger, that sort of thing.
So it all just depends what you're starting with,
so to speak.
- No! No! I want to be tall and black.
- (Jordan laughs) Oh my God!
So you can get taller,
you can have like surgical rods placed in
to lengthen potential bones if you break them
and have them re-heal.
But that's really not something that we do.
And then can you change your skin color?
Yes. You can always like get tattooed
it really not changing your skin color.
Can you bleach your skin the other direction?
Yes, potentially.
- I hate being small and Jewish.
I feel like a tall black man.
(Jordan laughs)
- Oh my gosh. I love it.
- It's a fairly common procedure, really.
Just the reverse of a caucasian plasty.
Just like Michael Jackson. Let's take a look here.
- So the reverse of a caucasian plasty. Okay.
So caucasian, meaning white making fun of Michael Jackson
and his change of skin.
Now the doctor is saying,
he's going to reverse that.
Okay. Sure.
- What we do is slice your face
and peel it back so we can insert
new pigment producing cells inside.
- What!
- We break the arm bones in several places
and put braces to make them longer.
Now the knees, we need to snap off
and fill with small round objects that
can cause better movement.
And we finish it off with a nice Penoplasty
to enhance the genetary.
- Actually you can rationalize like the different steps,
wanting to lengthening bone, better movement of joints,
and then making a penis larger.
There cause they're insinuating,
he has a small penis and then doing this pigmentation
changes just to the face,
which then would not be appropriate
because you need pigmentation changes everywhere, right.
- Is this really a good idea?
- Well, it's a good idea.
If you want to be tall and black,
otherwise I wouldn't recommend it.
- We will give you the information that's out there
and your options.
And then you follow it up with
do you want to hear our opinion?
A lot of people don't want to hear a physician's opinion
on certain topic if somebody's mind is already made up.
But we're also the expert, right?
So we know what we're talking about.
- (grunts) Well, there's no doubt in my mind Mr. Marsh,
you are constipated.
- Thanks for the news flash.
I haven't taken a crap in over three weeks.
(intense beat)
- Oh my gosh. It's so common.
So listening to the bowel sounds with your stethoscope.
It really isn't that advantageous for us.
What you're listening for is just to make sure that there
some movement of intestines,
that's really all that you're hearing.
Now the pain of constipation typically comes in waves.
And that has to do with the peristaltic of the intestines
where basically the involuntary movement
and it has to do with like that movement,
moving gas to a fixed area that's not moving
or the muscle contracting on an area
that's got a ton of poop.
- Well, what food have you been eating?
- P.F Chang's mostly.
- Eating out all the time. Probably not the best thing,
but P.F Chang's good.
I like their general tso's chicken.
- I am going to prescribe a laxative,
but I must warn you when you do finally pass this stool.
It might be very painful.
If you're giving something from the top,
hopefully there's no blockage on the bottom.
I've even had patients with something called the Fecal Loma.
So it's basically like the massive stool ball.
That's not going to move.
And actually you have to have surgery to get it out crazy.
- (grunts)
- Oh man. So painful.
And man, you can cause you know, fissures and anal tears,
especially when your cuts around the buthole
and they're so painful and you get hemorrhoids
internal and external, the whole process is bad.
- That has got to be the biggest crap I've ever taken.
(Jordan laughs)
- You look at the stool.
You want to look at the consistency, the color.
It actually tells a lot about what your body is doing.
- The biggest crap? We actually don't keep that record. Sir.
(Jordan laughs)
Because we don't want to.
Look, we get calls from men all the time,
who believe they took the biggest crap.
And we simply can't handle all the measuring and verification.
You need to call the European Fecal Standards and
Measurements office in Zurich.
- How many guys out there are calling your buddies
and telling you, you got to poop,
that's coming out the bowl, it's not in the water?
It's huge. So gross.
But it's just a guy thing.
Let me know the longest you've seen.
- (beep) Oh, (beep) Oh, (beep) (beep) Oh, dear.
- Interesting. Maybe it's Tourette's.
Let's see what's going on.
- It almost seems like he's symptoms are like those in
something called Tourette's.
- It's a neurologic issue typically with a tick movements
and sometimes there can be verbal movements with it.
Pretty rhythmic.
- Tourette's syndrome, what is that mommy?
Butthole, tittys, bowl
(Jordan laughs)
- That doesn't seem likely.
Tourette's is a hereditary disease.
It doesn't just suddenly start.
- But yes, it just doesn't typically just come on.
But it does show up in a young age.
- On the other hand Tourette's does often develop later
in a child's life getting progressively worse.
- Oh, well that's it (beep) (beep) Mexican stinky balls!
- There is actually no treatment for Tourette's,
it's something over time that kind of is managed
and then goes away.
- What about school doctor?
The teachers and the principal.
They won't understand that (murmurs)
- Don't worry young man.
We'll make sure everyone understands your disease.
- Nice, I like the doctor.
- Oh-oh that's awesome. Thank you (beep)
(bell rings) (country music beat)
- (beep) Butthole.
- Imagine this actually was happening in school? Yeah.
So if he's faking it, it takes a lot of work to this.
I continuing to like come up with like, you know,
swear words and just screaming out in public.
On the flip side, this is actually really true.
This is like really tough and really hard social situation.
And hopefully surround yourself with people who are
understanding and educating the people around you.
That this is not something you're doing on purpose.
(window breaks)
Oh my gosh.
- You think this is funny you sick bastard.
- Eric calm down.
- Butters what have you done?
- It wasn't me, it was the ghost.
- Oh, Steven I don't know if we should ground him
or call a doctor.
- What do you think doctor?
- Your son is suffering from severe dementia.
He claims that the ghost of a dead friend talks to him.
(Jordan laughs)
- Now the doctor diagnosing him with dementia, no!
Dementia itself is only really truly diagnosed on autopsy,
taking a look at the brain,
but there are like dementia scores
and like little tests that we can do.
- This is usually a sign of schizophrenia brought on by
some tragic event in the child's past.
I think it's best that we take them to the mental center
and do some tests.
- Wait a minute,
you just gave him all these different diagnoses
from dementia to schizophrenia.
Why can't the kid just have like a friend
that he just has? Throwing a diagnosis on a patient
and then giving medications
and now putting into a mental institution? Like come on.
- All right Butters just try to relax.
(Machine whirling)
- Oh my gosh. So a lot of times,
if people do have visual auditory, hallucinations,
that sort of thing, sometimes it's actually not mental.
And it actually is like something physical,
basically ruling out all things that could be treated
medically in a sense of like medications or surgeries,
that sort of thing.
And then once that's done,
you go down the mental health, behavioral aspect of things.
- Doing just fine Butters. Just stay perfectly still.
- What!
(machine whirling)
- Don't worry Mr. Stotch
whatever traumatized your son in his past, we'll find it.
- Oh my gosh, no, we do not have machines like that.
Actually the only machine or something that we have,
that's very similar is like having to do with like
prostate illnesses as we get older.
There's a device that goes through your Perineum
and that has to do with like putting these like treatment
seeds and medication directly into the prostate itself.
That's how they get there. But that's not a medical device.
I don't know what the advice that is,
but that's not a medical device.
Holy cow, there was a lot to go over a lot to
dissect down a lot of hot topics.
If you guys have questions, concerns,
leave me a comment below.
And if you guys liked this video,
check out this video right here and as always subscribe,
like, turn on those notifications.
Thank you so much for watching. Stay healthy,
my friends.
(beep)