it's literally 4 am and i still haven't studied yet
why is this happening? Just why? I think I'm gonna sleep
for years I misunderstood the meaning of productivity being more productive didn't mean
i was doing the most important work . it only meant i was reacting to other people's priorities faster
being productive didn't mean getting more done
it actually meant making time for things that actually matters for me
for years i had a misconception of i can only rest if i get my today's tasks done
but it's so wrong and so harmful for my mental and physical health in the long run
i was thinking i can't rest now. i couldn't be tired i didn't get that much thing done how can
i be tired i was comparing myself to my heroes and looking myself and feeling miserable about
myself . i was telling others that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others but i was the one who
was doing it. i was defining my value according to my productivity but it's so wrong i am me
i should find my value no matter happens to me i shouldn't define my happiness according to
my success according to how much money I make. after finding myself crying in a shower for no
reason multiple times feeling empty and hopeless i decided to change i decided to be happy i said
in the previous video of mine that i'm gonna do 30 day challenge but no limiting ourselves
with a deadline when we are trying to heal is not a good idea i'm gonna take care of myself
no matter how long it takes we're gonna fall we're gonna fail but no matter what we're gonna stand up
and follow our happiness follow our dreams this is a journey that's gonna continue throughout my life
being happy with myself and not allowing success to define my value for the first week i decided
to rest do nothing. I decide to allow myself do whatever i want and feel not guilty about it
and here my good girls boys however you want to refer yourself is the first episode of me healing
i woke up miserable feeling guilty about myself about the decisions that i made i
was so ashamed about being burned out and feeling like a piece of [ __ ] but
i wanted to change i knew from my past experiences that little bit of workout always helps me with
mental issues. the first workout always feels bad you feel exhausted every single of your muscles hurts
but even the reality of you getting up and trying is motivating there are zillions of researches
proving the impact of even 5-minute workouts. if you feel stuck move your body the mind-body
connection better physical health better mental health . physical and mental health are much more
connected than many people realize. the mind-body connection is real. this means that caring take off
your physical health can help improve your mental health . unfortunately i couldn't finish the workout
but at least i'm feeling a little bit better. after my six minute workout i took a cold
shower and went to the massage salon .after getting thai massage i felt immediately better.
since i work on my desk multiple hours in a day i can't explain you how sore my muscles were. if
you can afford it i would highly recommend it to get a massage but if you can't no problem i
have a super yummy recipe to relax your body and release tension . if you don't know how to
massage yourself i'll put some links down in the description below so that you can follow through
and learn how to do it. I promise it's so good. even though i felt so relaxed after the massage , my
toxic productive mind was always kept telling myself that i need to study or read or learn
new things but i said no i said this week is the relaxation week this week is the week that
i allow myself to rest. I edited my video titled 'we need to talk' so that i can publish it next day.
editing videos are fun thing for me. i love it i enjoy it so i did that .
i should probably batch film and hire an editor but i'm not ahead of my uploading schedule yet.
but i hope i'll achieve that in the near future. okay it's 10 36 it's day two. good morning .
I just released the video which is titled like we need to talk and the positive
comments that I get is so incredible that I'm gonna cry. I hope that we will get better. i
think i'll do today a bit meditation and yoga. afterwards maybe before going to bed.
yeah i love you guys. i did a quick five minute workout to pump up my body and feel the endorphins
kicking me. it definitely works. i know rolling into your mat and actually doing the workout is hard .
but your body deserves it you deserve it treat your body right. i feel much better right now i
think i'll take a shower and we'll see .so i took a very hot shower and I feel so relaxed
right now. I also massage myself in the bathroom using the baby oil. I use this baby oil to massage
myself because this is the cheapest out there that i can find. but you can use whatever fancy oil
that you have in order to massage yourself.but i just bought this because it was very
cheap. after releasing the video 'we need to talk' one of my friends contacted me. she's currently
studying psychology at uni and she recommended me a meditation app and I fall in love with the app
the app is so good. I'll probably buy the premium version of this. they give you like a seven day
trial. so good .you know what I'm gonna contact them right now because the app is so good i definitely
want to do some sort of collaboration with them. I'm currently watching a bunch of random
videos of Emma chamberlain. I really love her videos. it's currently 2 am. I should probably be
sleeping but you know what I'm just gonna allow myself to watch some Emma chamberlain's video.
peace it's currently 3am i didn't study and i also didn't read but i think i'm gonna sleep
i feel a bit guilty right now because i literally spend my time
ah so randomly. but it's okay I guess? good night
hi guys it's the third day. I just woke up it's currently 11 a.m. I felt guilty for doing nothing
but I was determined to learn how to rest. i watched some youtube videos without feeling guilty.
i decided to write down my expectations. what I'm having trouble with and how I can improve
my life etc.so we'll see. okay so I'm gonna write down the things using the notion.
let's create a page called a mental breakdown guide. it's basically kind of like a thing that I used
to do. I think I read it in some sort of a productivity book. it was
basically saying that every single time you have a problem you keep asking yourself why. for example
what is my problem? so I'm currently having a mental breakdown. I kinda feel stuck
and I kinda feel burned out but I don't know the reason. so I just wrote I'm feeling stuck and
then i ask myself why? I have a super high expectations from myself and I don't know how to
rest. and then you ask once more why? i don't know how to care about my mental health .why? i actually
know it but i didn't do it. why? kind of lazy. why ? because i don't build the habit or system to make
me do it. so by asking yourself, by keeping asking yourself why and why and why you actually understand
your like deep thoughts. i don't really realize that much. I'm really bad at emotions I don't
really realize my emotions so i always like ask myself why? and during that process, i find out the
reason. i and now we find out the reason. the reason was basically i wasn't even allowing myself to
feel burned out because i was telling myself that you don't have even like permission to burn out.
because you don't do that much so you cannot burn out right now.
that was a toxic mindset that i had back in the day but now i realize that i actually do a lot
of things. like why I thought in that way ?when you're in the process when you have a toxic
relationship with something, it doesn't have to be with productivity like
you can be in like toxic relationship with your partner or with your like friends
or maybe with your family and when you're in that toxic relationship .you don't realize that .
when i look back to the mindset that i had, it was like very toxic and now i can realize it .
but at that time i couldn't realize it. but since we realize it right now i just like wrote out ;
all of the expectations that i have from myself. i categorize all the expectations that i have into
five categories. and there are studying ,youtube, fun, physical health and mental health .yeah so
these are my goals .so today i think i really want to focus more on exercising.
because i haven't been exercising for a very long time. today's goal the only goal is basically
exercise for five minutes. in order to make my exercise session a little bit fun I decide to
walk to a cafe and chill there. i used to study at cafes pretty often when I was in high school ,
but never chilled alone by myself .so i decided to go to a cafe and do whatever i want.
guys oh my god .ahhhhh ! the half Japanese health Turkish video hit 1 million views
I'm so thankful to you guys and like that video really changed my life :D
I'm not going to cry today . Why do I look so different there?
i don't know. This is the video that changed my life .
before going to bed i did 20 minutes of meditation to relax and chill .
it really works even if you don't have mental issues, I would highly recommend you to try it.
the best way to stay healthy, physically and mentally is preventing.
hey guys, it's currently 8:38am. I think we're making a pretty good progress
i messed up my makeup. it looks weird but anyways. I got my second dose of vaccine and my
arm starts to hurt so freaking much. i started to feel really tired because of the vaccine but
i think it's okay. and also i have a meeting in 30 minutes. i had a meeting with the meditation app
team and I explained how much I liked the app and we discussed the terms and sponsorship deals.
we had to delay the sponsorship to the next sunday because i wanted you guys to get a long trial
of the premium version. so they needed a a little bit of time to create the special link
slash code is dedicated to people who come from my channel. so stay tuned for the app reveal!
after i watch some youtube videos while I was trying to feel no guilt an hour or later i went to bed
to sleep because i was feeling a bit tired because of the vaccine .
hi guys it's me hi guys it's me editing !
while I was editing day 5 and day 6 I realized that my camera's audio wasn't recording. so
every single footage that i took don't have any audio recorded because my mic was turned off.
so we need to end this vlog right here I'm so sorry for that. I'm currently using a different
microphone i hope that it works. anyways, so let's summarize this week. the only thing
that i tried this week is to do nothing and it really worked as i feel so refreshed right
now. I just feel so energized right now. you might realize from my energy but
i feel so ready for the other weeks to tackle and do more stuff , but
rest at the same time, learn about more mental health and learn about things. I also decided
work through the weekdays. so from Monday to Friday is basically my work day
where i study and do a bunch of productivity stuff and the Saturday is the youtube day. so I'll
be only focusing on youtube, like making videos, writing scripts, responding to emails, dealing with
the sponsorships, answering to your guys' comments. on Sundays, i decided to take full rest.
It basically means that I'm not gonna do anything. i'm just gonna do the things that i want to do. such as
like reading ,chilling ,watching anime and caring about myself , doing some self-care, skincare etc .
so i decided to do that .so yeah. i feel so good after taking a long break,
a whole week. i am finally back and finally back with the energy that you signed up for.
ah i feel so good right now i feel so good. meditation really helps. exercising really helps
but sometimes the only thing that you need is to give yourself time and take care of yourself and
rest. so that's the thing that I would recommend. from week two I will introduce you guys
some productivity tips and we will incorporate those steps into our lives without stressing
ourselves. if you like this video stay tuned for the next week's episode bye guys