(guitar chord) (ding)
(cheering and applause) (bass music)
- Hey everybody, Conan O'Brien
here with another Clueless Gamer.
Today we've got a big one I'm told.
The highly anticipated Overwatch.
This is huge, this is an epic game.
So I got two of the stars of the most epic show
on television, Game of Thrones, to play with me.
Please welcome my best friends
as of four minutes ago,
Peter Dinklage and Lena Headey.
Thank you so much for being here.
(audience cheering) You guys play video games.
- I don't but I'm ready.
- [Conan] And you, Peter? - What is this for?
(audience laughs)
- There was only one iron throne,
so I took it 'cause it has low back support.
This is in fact a toilet.
- Oooo.
- Yeah, this is really what makes it functional.
This is my toilet for my home. - [Peter] See that just broke.
- And this just broke.
And yeah, we're just ripping apart the iron throne as we go.
Oh, look at that, there you go.
Yeah, this is really no expense was spared.
These are made of Starbursts.
Then they put some shoe polish on it.
- This controls the toilet,
it's like a Japanese toilet. - [Peter] Oh it's like the--
- Yeah, so he can wash his butt.
Do you like that? - [Conan] Ah, no, no, no.
A little to the left.
- I love those.
You walk into the bathroom, - [Conan] Aim the jet.
- and they open, you don't even have to touch anything.
- [Lena] That's creepy. - But you know what's creepy?
I was in a hotel recently, and it had that
and the toilet opens every time you walk past it,
and every time I walked by the toilet it went
Huh, maybe and I'm like no.
I'm just coming in to get the floss, the dental floss
and then it closes sadly like oh.
And then I'll come in later-- - [Peter] Tey do that to me,
and I'm like, ah, might as well.
- Might as well.
- He's, yeah see?
- Hey, by the way, do you like our set?
No expense was spared.
Very sexy, isn't it this room?
- Sexy, yeah.
- Very sensual.
- It's being inside of a vagina.
Can we say that?
- No, you just did, - [Lena] You did, you said it.
- And you know what, this is gold.
Come on in Bleyaert tell us about the game.
- Yeah, so the game is Overwatch.
It's you know, humanity. (Peter snoring)
- Oh god. (audience laughing)
This is why I called you in?
- You were great as the dad in Family Ties.
(all laughing)
- Take us through all of our hero possibilities.
- [Bleyaert] You've got-- - Jason Momoa.
- [Peter] Jason Momoa.
- Oh my god he's got the legs of like a pigeon.
Lena come to me, Lena.
- Then we've got this guy Junkrat.
- [Conan] Junkrat. - Oh I like Junkrat.
(all laughing)
- He has the power of low self-esteem.
Oh my.
- [Peter] Ooo. - [Lena] Oh yeah.
- Oh!
- [Peter] Reset, pause it.
- Pause it. - [Peter] There we go.
- Oh lord.
- Somebody's been shining that.
- [Bleyaert] This guy's kinda cool, Lucio.
- Oh look at that.
Oh he's on roller blades.
His only enemy is an uneven surface.
(all laughing)
He can accomplish anything, but oh there's some
slate gravel in the road, I can't help you.
- Oh, okay I like him.
- Yes.
- He's got nice balls.
- Lovely balls.
- MC Hammer backup dancer at one point.
- So the idea here is you guys
are going to be on separate teams.
You're gonna be shooting each other,
trying to take an objective or defend an objective.
- I don't know what you said.
- I don't know either.
- [Bleyaert] Alright.
- I'm a giant gorilla with a laser canon.
(Lena gasps) (laser zaps)
- No, wait.
(grunts)
- Oh come on I just laser beamed it.
- [Lena] I can't look up.
- Okay that happened very quickly.
- Wait.
(laser zapping) (grunting)
- [Peter] Ow. - What?
- So Peter just killed you twice very quickly.
- That's not me, that's the character.
- Stomp on your corpse.
- [Conan] (laughing) Yeah. (ding)
- (laughing) Now I've got four guns.
- Just kill him, please kill him he's getting very cocky.
- He really is that big (beep) gorilla.
- Oh my god.
(lazers zapping) (grunting)
- [Lena] Yes.
- Yes!
She killed you, Lena just killed you.
- How does that feel, Peter?
(audience laughing)
- I'm so on Lena's side.
I don't know why.
- Oh yeah look at that.
I'm up on a platform up here.
- [Lena] Where are you?
- Coming at you from above there, Headey.
Wait, oh I know, I fell.
(audience laughing)
- No.
That's the most mundane death.
A workplace accident took you out of the game.
Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where?
- Behind you.
- [Peter] Where? (exclaims and laughs)
Not so easy now when someone fights back.
(guns firing)
- You know my gun can't really shoot that far.
- Yeah.
- That's what they all say.
(yells loudly) Die.
Hiding behind balsa wood shouldn't do anything.
Good old balsa wood.
Impenetrable balsa wood.
(guns firing)
(audience laughs)
For you, my lady. - [Lena] Thank you, my liege.
- [Bleyaert] Yeah, so the next place we're gonna play
is the Temple of Anubis, it's in Egypt.
You guys are each gonna have a team
of two other people with you.
- [Conan] What's the objective?
- [Bleyaert] The objective is there's maybe some stuff
going on but you just shoot each other.
- Shoot people, just shoot people.
And we're in a Moroccan restaurant, why?
What's happening?
- I've got a hankerin' for some Tahiti.
(Conan laughing) (guns firing)
- That bubble I'm in is called celebrity.
(audience laughing)
Come out from behind that, there's Peter.
I'm gonna kill him.
- [Peter] No you're not. - Yes I am, time to die.
(laser firing)
Wait, I was eliminated by Peter.
(guns firing)
- What?
- You're out, Lena, sorry.
- Why'd you keep shooting me?
There's four other people.
- [Conan] Look at him, pure evil.
(audience laughing)
Look at his range of facial expressions.
(all laughing)
A choking victim.
Okay we're gonna do something very special now.
At my request, all the women with shiny butts
are gonna fight each other.
Don't shoot anyone.
Just enjoy their bodies.
(audience laughing)
- [Lena] Look at that shiny butt.
- Can they make out with each other?
- [Conan] Is there a button where they
make out with each other, all the women?
- [Bleyaert] No there's no button.
- Can we ask that that be added
to the game before it comes out?
- [Bleyaert] I will ask.
(footsteps clicking)
- Oooo listen to their high heels.
- Oh, I love that.
(sighs and moans)
There's a lot of moaning.
- Can we get that, can we get that?
- Can we get a loop of the moaning?
(gun firing) (sighs and moans)
- There you have it right there.
We just watched Peter decimate Lena in this competition.
Peter, you are the winner.
Because it's Game of Thrones, you will now
be presented with my head on a spike
by our George R.R. Martin lookalike.
(audience laughing)
Kind of me.
♫ Donald ♫
(audience laughing and cheering)
- Umm the bestest.
- Hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?
(cheering and applause)